Title: What a Young Woman Ought to Know
Author: Mary Wood-Allen
Release date: March 30, 2009 [eBook #28458]
Most recently updated: January 4, 2021
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier, Jeannie Howse and
the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
https://www.pgdp.net
Transcriber's Note:
Inconsistent hyphenation in the original document has been preserved.
REV. F.B. MEYER, B.A.
"The questions which are dealt with in the 'Self and Sex Series' of books are always being asked, and if the answer is not forthcoming from pure and wise lips it will be obtained through vicious and empirical channels. I therefore greatly commend this series of books, which are written lucidly and purely, and will afford the necessary information without pandering to unholy and sensual passion. I should like to see a wide and judicious distribution of this literature among Christian circles."
CHARLES M. SHELDON, D.D.
"It is a pleasure to call attention to the books of the 'Self and Sex Series' which have been prepared with great wisdom for the express purpose of teaching the truth concerning the subjects which are painfully neglected."
MRS. MAY WRIGHT SEWALL
"I am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information to young women should be treated in a manner at once so noble and so delicate that any pure-minded teacher or mother may read or discuss its pages with young girls without the slightest chance of wounding the most delicate sensibilities, or by being misunderstood."
MRS. MARY LOWE DICKINSON
"Any young woman, knowing all that this volume teaches, has an essential foundation for whatever other knowledge she may acquire."
MRS. MATILDA B. CARSE
"As a mother, I can truly say that my heart goes out to you in endorsement of this book. It is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects that mean so much to our daughters, to their future as home-keepers, wives and mothers, and to the future generations. It can but create a more reverent ideal of life in every girl who reads it, and I wish every daughter in the land could reap of its benefit."
MRS. ELIZABETH CADY STANTON
"Your books I consider a valuable addition to the literature of the day on social ethics. The many facts you state are not only important for a knowledge of social science, but involve good health and morals."
CHARLES N. CRITTENTON
"The frequent excuse which parents give for not enlightening their children on these most important points is that they have never known how to do so. This excuse can no longer be considered valid.
"Dr. Wood-Allen has a remarkable gift in the facility and refinement with which she is able to approach the most delicate subject without arousing a single morbid and sensitive impulse."
MRS. HELEN CAMPBELL
"I cannot speak too warmly of your invaluable series. There is hardly a woman in America so thoroughly qualified by education, long experience, deep sympathies, and, most excellent of all gifts, as deep common sense, as Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, to meet the growing need, or rather the growing sense of need. Mothers and fathers alike will be helped and enlightened by these simple, clear-phrased, wholesome books, and they deserve all the success already their own."
MRS. LILLIAN M.N. STEVENS
"I consider the book 'What a Young Wife Ought to Know' a wise and safe teacher. It is a careful and delicate presentation of vital truths which have to do with the happiness and welfare of home life."
"There is an awful need for the book, and it does what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the kind I have ever read. You may rely upon me to make it known wherever I can."
"'What a Young Woman Ought to Know' is characterized by purity of tone and delicacy of treatment.
"It is one which a mother can place with confidence in the hands of her daughter. Reverent knowledge is the surest safeguard of innocence, and it is every mother's duty to see that the young girl committed to her charge is duly forearmed by being forewarned of the dangers that lie around her."
MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M.D.
Protected by International copyright in Great Britain and all her colonies and possessions, including India and Canada, and, under the provisions of the Berne Convention in Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Spain and her colonies, France, including Algeria and the French colonies, Haiti, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Monaco, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, and Tunis.
| PAGE | |
| PART I. | |
| CHAPTER I. WHAT ARE YOU WORTH? |
|
| The first great lesson to learn, your own importance — Probably twelve million young women in the United States — What it means for one of them to be sick — Woman's work in the world — The using of spiritual forces — How much are you worth to your home, to the community, to the state, to the nation, to the race? | 21 |
| CHAPTER II. CARE OF BODY. |
|
| Your body is your dwelling — It expresses you — We can judge of character by the external appearance — The body also an instrument and should be taken care of — Not "fussy" to take care of it in youth — We should prepare for life | 27 |
| CHAPTER III. FOOD. |
|
| A desire for health creates a desire to know how to obtain it — The question of diet — We eat to repair waste and to supply new material — Overstudy less a cause of illness than wrong eating — Tea and coffee not foods — Alcoholic beverages interfere with digestion — Dyspepsia produced by worry — We should give ourselves to our friends — Young women should study scientific cookery | 33 |
| CHAPTER IV. SLEEP. |
|
| Every thought, activity, or motion causes expenditure of force — In sleep the energy restored — Amount of sleep needed — Effect of sleeplessness — Causes of unrefreshing sleep — Ventilation of sleeping rooms — Beauty sleep | 39 |
| CHAPTER V. BREATHING. |
|
| How often we breathe — What is accomplished by breathing — Office of oxygen in the blood — Breathing our measure of ability — Breathing gymnastics, their value — Importance of the diaphragm in breathing | 47 |
| CHAPTER VI. HINDRANCES TO BREATHING. |
|
| Effect of sitting attitudes — How to counteract this — Wrong positions in standing — Restrictions of clothing — Rule for the tightness of clothing — Why tight dresses may feel comfortable | 55 |
| CHAPTER VII. ADDED INJURIES FROM TIGHT CLOTHING. |
|
| The effect upon the heart — Danger of exercising in tight dress — Effect of tight clothing upon the kidneys, upon the liver, stomach, and bowels — How the bowels are held in the abdomen — Influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs — Upon the circulation — A tapering waist a deformity | 61 |
| CHAPTER VIII. EXERCISE. |
|
| The purpose of physical culture — Balance between waste and supply — Gymnastic dress a necessity — Value of housework — Bicycle riding — Dancing — Skating — Lawn tennis — Running up and down stairs — Bathing | 69 |
| CHAPTER IX. BATHING. |
|
| Beauty of complexion — Condition of skin indicates condition of digestive organs — Pimples — Constipation — Thermal bath — Foot bath — Time to bathe — Daily baths — The use of soaps — Wrinkles — Care of the hands | 77 |
PART II. |
|
| CHAPTER X. CREATIVE POWER. |
|
| We have Godlike powers: reason, imagination, conferring life — Organs of individual life same in both sexes — Differences between the sexes in size — Dignity of man | 87 |
| CHAPTER XI. BUILDING BRAINS. |
|
| Babies born deaf, dumb, blind and helpless — The activities of the baby build its brains — Our brains develop through cultivation of the senses — Certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body — Can learn how to build up any part of brain — Professor Gates' experiments in training dogs — Creation of habits — Effects of malevolent passions, such as anger, worry, etc. | 93 |
| CHAPTER XII. YOU ARE MORE THAN BODY OR MIND. |
|
| You are neither body nor mind, you are spirit — Your relationship to God — God's obligation to us — Our obligation to Him — God's school — His method of teaching us. | 99 |
| CHAPTER XIII. SPECIAL PHYSIOLOGY. |
|
| Differences between boys and girls — Boys need our sympathy — The crisis in the girl's life — Sex in mind — Description of the sex organs | 105 |
| CHAPTER XIV. BECOMING A WOMAN. |
|
| All life from an egg — The human egg — Menstruation — Girls may injure themselves through ignorance — Value of sex. | 113 |
| CHAPTER XV. ARTIFICIALITIES OF CIVILIZED LIFE. |
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| Menstruation should be painless — Dr. Mary Jacobi's opinion — Dr. Emmett on the artificial life of young women. | 119 |
| CHAPTER XVI. SOME CAUSES OF PAINFUL MENSTRUATION. |
|
| Woman not necessarily a semi-invalid — Effects of wrong clothing on the young girl — Evils of novel reading — Evils of constipation — Congestions produced by displacements — Serious results of abdominal displacements — Value of abdominal bandage — How to make one — How to wear it — Effects of wrong attitude — Standing on one foot — Correct attitude. | 123 |
| CHAPTER XVII. FEMALE DISEASES. |
|
| Displacements of uterus — Leucorrhea — Patent medicines — Honest physicians — Sitz baths for reducing congestions — Age at which menstruation first appears — Non-menstruation and consumption — Mechanical hindrances to menstruation — Suppression — Scanty flow — Profuse flow — Treatment. | 135 |
| CHAPTER XVIII. CARE DURING MENSTRUATION. |
|
| No long walks or rides — May pursue usual avocations — If pain, keep quiet — Do not use alcoholics of any kind — Use of heat — Use of cold — Should you bathe at this time — Arrangement of clothing and napkins — Mental serenity. | 145 |
| CHAPTER XIX. SOLITARY VICE. |
|
| Its results — Causes — Lack of cleanliness — Pin-worms — All functions attended with pleasure — Sex not low — Its development accompanied by increased power — How overcome the bad habit? — Remove causes of pelvic congestions — Train the senses — Study clouds, leaves, shapes, birds, etc. | 151 |
| CHAPTER XX. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. |
|
| What is real fun — The effects of a wrong idea of fun — Flirtations — Familiarities — Criticism of girls by young men — Class of girls who are most respected — Responsibility of girls — The conduct of a pure woman the safeguard of man. | 159 |
| CHAPTER XXI. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS. |
|
| The meaning of friendship — Mother the girl's wisest confidante — Kissing — Friendship between brothers and sisters — Platonic friendships — The value of noble companionship. | 169 |
| CHAPTER XXII. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN GIRLS. |
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| Gushing girls — Manly friendships — The highest type of friendship — To love truly is to grow strong by true giving. | 177 |
| CHAPTER XXIII. EXERCISES. |
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| Correct dressing — To overcome curvature — Round shoulders — To strengthen the back — To develop the chest — Abdominal muscles — To restore displaced organs. | 181 |
| CHAPTER XXIV. RECREATIONS. |
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| Walking — Running — Riding — Skating — Rowing — Cycling — Tennis — Swimming — Skipping — Dancing — Card-playing — Theatre-going. | 187 |
PART III. |
|
| CHAPTER XXV. LOVE. |
|
| Different ideas of different people — Much that is called love is selfishness — Love at first sight — Present conditions of society unnatural — Parents unwilling to teach their children, yet permit flirtations, etc. — What is love? — One word to express different phases of regard — Love of man and woman — Love should include mental congeniality, spiritual sympathy and physical attraction — Young people should have opportunity to get acquainted — Comradeship of young people — Love is a growth. | 199 |
| CHAPTER XXVI. RESPONSIBILITY IN MARRIAGE. |
|
| Who is the young man? — What are his antecedents, his talents, his habits? — What sort of a family does he belong to? — The wife marries her husband's family — Girls should know this — A mother's privilege. | 209 |
| CHAPTER XXVII. THE LAW OF HEREDITY. |
|
| A strange will — Should study the law of inheritance — Plant heredity — Race heredity — National characteristics — Individual inheritance — We are composite photographs — The law of heredity a beneficial law — Transmission of evil a warning — Bad tempers inherited — Atavism. | 215 |
| CHAPTER XXVIII. HEREDITARY EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, ETC. |
|
| Alcoholism produces nerve degeneration — Tight lacing may have the same result — Nerve degeneracy may lead to alcoholism — Idiocy and inebriety increasing — Effects of wine — Evils of patent medicines — Inebriety of parents entails injury on offspring — Folly of marrying a man to reform him — Hereditary effects of morphine, chloral, etc. — Dangers of the tobacco habit — Inherited effects of tobacco. | 223 |
| CHAPTER XXIX. EFFECTS OF IMMORALITY ON THE RACE. |
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| The law of God not a double law — The inherited effects of immorality — Millions die annually from its effects — Transmitted to child or wife — Contamination through a kiss. | 235 |
| CHAPTER XXX. THE GOSPEL OF HEREDITY. |
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| Inheritance of good so universal that we fail to think of it — Mercy shown to thousands of generations — Heredity not fatality — Effects of education transmitted — Experiments of Professor Gates on dogs — A divine inheritance. | 241 |
| CHAPTER XXXI. REQUISITES OF A HUSBAND. |
|
| What is the young man's inheritance? — What are his ideas? — What is his estimate of woman? — What are his defects? — Are there adequate reasons why some should not marry? — May not married people be happy without children — A girl should know something of the personal habits of her future husband — Should consider her own personal habits — How freely may young people talk together? | 247 |
| CHAPTER XXXII. ENGAGEMENTS. |
|
| Becoming engaged for fun — May not engaged young people throw aside restrictions? — Long engagements — The benefits of an engagement — Evils of a long engagement — Engagement a time of preparation — Sexual attraction not limited to local expression — Duty of the engaged young woman to her own family — Jealousy the quintessence of selfishness — Trust a suggestion to be true — Common sense needed in marriage — Hold your lover to the highest ideals. | 255 |
| CHAPTER XXXIII. THE WEDDING. |
|
| Folly of preparing an elaborate trousseau — The way of one sensible girl — The wedding gifts — Bridal tours — The realities of wedded life. | 267 |
During a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counsellor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the United States.
These girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans, aspirations, fears and personal problems. It has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct—queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of those same girls, as they, doubtless, take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety.
The truth is that many girls who have been taught in the "ologies" of the schools, who have been trained in the conventionalities of society, have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct, and, coming face to face with puzzling problems, are at a loss, and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it.
The subjects treated in this little book are discussed because every one of them has been the substance of a query propounded by some girl otherwise intelligent and well informed. They have been treated plainly and simply because they purport to be the frank conferences of a mother and daughter, between whom there can be no need of hesitation in dealing frankly with any question bearing on the life, health or happiness of the girl. There is therefore no need of apology; the book is its own excuse for being, the queries of the young women demand honest answers.
Life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood, who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization.
Life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission, if, from childhood onward to old age, the thought has been held that "Life is a gift of God and is divine," and its physical is no less sacred than its mental or moral manifestation; if it has been understood that the foundations of character are laid in the habits formed in youth, and that a noble girlhood assures a grand maturity.
Dear girls who read this book, the mother-heart has gone out to you with great tenderness with every line herein written, with many an unspoken prayer that you will be helped, uplifted, inspired by its reading, and made more and more to feel
Mary Wood-Allen.
Ann Arbor, Michigan.
My Daughter Dear:
When I see you with your young girl friends, when I look into your bright faces and listen to your merry laughter and your girlish chatter, I wonder if any one of you understands how much you are worth. Now you may say, "I haven't any money in the bank, I have no houses or land, I am worth nothing," but that would only be detailing what you possess. It is not what you possess but what you are that determines what you are worth. One may possess much wealth and be worth very little.
I was reading the other day that the first great lesson for a young man to learn, the first fact to realize, is that he is of some importance; that upon his wisdom, energy and faithfulness all else depends, and that the world cannot get along without him. Now if this is true of young men, I do not see why it is not equally true of young women.
It is not after you have grown old that you will be of value to the world; it is now, in your young days, while you are laying the foundation of your character, that you are of great importance. We cannot say that the foundation is of no importance until the building is erected, for upon the right placing of the foundation depends the firmness and stability of the superstructure. Dr. Conwell, in his little book, "Manhood's Morning," estimates that there are twelve million young men in the United States between fourteen and twenty-eight years of age; that these twelve million young men represent latent physical force enough to dig the iron ore from the mines, manufacture it into wire, lay the foundation and construct completely the great Brooklyn Bridge in three hours; that they represent force enough, if rightly utilized, to dig the clay from the earth, manufacture the bricks and construct the great Chinese Wall in five days. If each one were to build himself a house twenty-five feet wide, these houses would line both sides of eight streets reaching across the continent from the Atlantic to the Pacific. For each one to be sick one day is equal to thirty thousand being sick an entire year.
Now, if there are twelve million young men in the United States, we may estimate that there are an equal number of young women. Although we cannot calculate accurately the amount of physical force represented by these young women, there are some things we can tell. We know that for each one of these young women to be sick one day means thirty thousand sick one year. Just imagine the loss to the country, and the gain to posterity if it can be prevented!
Rome endeavored to create good soldiery, but was not able to produce strength and courage through physical culture of the men alone. Not until she began the physical education of the women, the young women, was she able to insure to the nation a race of strong, hardy, vigorous soldiery. So the health of the young women of to-day is of great importance to the nation, for upon their vigor and soundness of body depend to a very great extent the health and capacity of future generations. We are told that in the State of Massachusetts, in one year, there were lost twenty-eight thousand five hundred (28,500) years of time through the illness of working-people by preventable diseases. Dr. Buck, in his "Hygiene," tells us that one hundred thousand persons die every year through preventable diseases, that one hundred and fifty thousand are constantly sick through preventable diseases, and that the loss to the nation, through the illness of working-people by diseases that might have been prevented, is more than a hundred million dollars a year. So we can see that each individual has a pecuniary value to the nation. You are worth just as much to the nation as you can earn. If you earn a dollar a day, you are not only worth a dollar a day to yourself and to your personal employer, but you are worth a dollar a day to the nation; and if, through illness, you are laid aside for one day, the nation, as well as yourself, is pecuniarily the loser.
Young women could not build the houses that would line eight streets from New York to San Francisco, but, rightly educated, they could convert each one of these houses into a home, and to found a home and conduct it properly is to help the world. It is so easy to measure what is done with physical strength. We can see what men are doing when they build railroads, construct immense bridges and towering buildings, but it is more difficult to measure what is done through intellectual and spiritual forces; and woman's work in the world is not so much the using of strength as it is the using of those finer forces which go to build up men and women. With this thought in your mind, can you answer the question, How much are you worth? How much are you worth to yourself? How much are you worth in your home? How much money would your parents be willing to accept in place of yourself? How much are you worth to the community in which you live? How much are you worth to the state, the nation, the human race?
You can recognize your value in the home when you remember how much you are the center of all that goes on there, how much your interest is consulted in everything that is done by father and mother. You can realize your value to the state when you realize how much money is spent for the education of young people, how cultured men and women give the best of their lives to your instruction. You cannot measure your value to the human race until you begin to think that the young people of to-day are creating the condition of the world in fifty or one hundred years to come; that you, through your physical health, or lack of it, are to become a source of strength or weakness in future years, if you are a mother. It is all right that young women should think of marriage and motherhood, provided they think of it in the right way.
I want you to reverence yourself, to realize your own importance, to feel that you are a necessity to God's perfect plan. When we are young and feel that we are of no account in the world, it is difficult to realize that God's complete plan cannot be carried out without us. The smallest, tiniest rivet or bolt may be of such great importance in the construction of an engine that its loss means the incapacity of that piece of machinery to do its work. As God has placed you in the world, He has placed you here to do a specific work for Him and for humanity, and your failure to do that work means the failure of His complete and perfect plan. Now can you begin to see how much you are worth? And can you begin to realize that in the conduct of your life as a young woman you are a factor of immense importance to the great problem of the evolution of the human race? In the light of these thoughts I would like to have you ask yourself this question every day, How much am I worth?