LETTER X.
HABIT.
| Habit always Indicative of Character—Its Importance not properly estimated by the Young—Rudeness and Republicanism too often Synonymous—Fashion not always Good-breeding—Social American Peculiarities—Manners of Americans abroad—Rowdyism at the Tuileries—The Propriety of Learning from Older Nations the lighter Elegancies of Life—Madame Soulé and the Queen of Spain—The tie of a Cravat and the Affairs of "Change"—George Peabody a Model American—The distinctive name of Gentleman—Great Importance of Suitable Associates—Spanish Proverb—The true Social Standard—Safeguard against Eccentricity—Habits of Walking, Standing, Sitting—Directions—Aaron Burr and De Witt Clinton—Bachelor Privileges—Decorum in the presence of Ladies—Carrying the Hat, ease of Attitude, etc.—Benefits of habitual Self-Restraint—Habits at Table—Eating with a Knife—Soiling the Lips, Picking the Teeth, etc., etc.—Nicety In Matters of Detail—Courtesy due to others—Manner to Servants in Attendance at Table—Avoidance of Sensuousness of Manner—French Mode of Serving Dinners—The Art of Carving—Helping Ladies at Table—Rule in Carving Joints of Meat—Changing the Plate—Proper Mode of Taking Fish—Game—Butter at Dinner—English Custom—Details of Habit at Table—Rights of Freemen—A Just Distinction—Unhealthfulness of drinking too much at Dinner—Fast Eating of Fast Americans—Sitting upon two Legs of a Chair—Anecdote—Habits of using the Handkerchief—Toying with the Moustache, etc., etc.—Ladies careful Observers of Minutiæ—Belief of the Ancient Gauls respecting Women—Habits of Swaggering in Public Places—General Suggestions—Ladies and Invalids in Terror of a Human War-Horse—Courtesy due while playing Chess and other Games—Self-control in Sickness—Premature adoption of Eye-Glasses—Affectation in this respect—Proper Attitude while Reading or Studying—Habits of Early Rising—A Poetic Superstition unwarranted by Health and Truth—Variance between Health and Fashion in regard to Early Hours—Aphorism by Gibbon—Habit of taking Nostrums—Avoidance of Quacks—Habit of acting as the Protectors of the Dependent Sex—Effect of Trifling Habits upon the Opinions formed of us by Women—Habits of handling Prints, Bijouterie, and Boquets, of Smoking, Whispering and Ogling, to be shunned—Importance of Methodical Habits of Reading and Studying—Value of the Gold Dust of Time—Anecdote—True Rule for Reading to Advantage—Habit of Reading aloud—Great Importance of a Habit of Industry—The Superiors of mere Genius—Habits of Cheerfulness and Contentment not to be overlooked by the Young—Cultivation of Habitual Self-Respect—Pride and Poverty not Necessarily Antagonistic—Self-Respect a Shield against the Shafts of Calumny—True Honor not affected by Occupation or Position—Benefits of a Habit of Self-Examination—The habitual Study of the Scriptures recommended—Christ, the Great Model of Humanity—Ungentlemanly Habit of being late at Church, etc.—Pernicious Effects of prevalent Materialism—Personal Enjoyment resulting from habitually idealizing all Mental Associations with Women—Defencelessness an Impassable Barrier to Oppression from true Manhood—Impropriety of speaking loudly to Ladies in public Places, of attracting Attention to them, their Names and Prerogatives—Safe Rule in this regard—The Habit of Sympathy with Human Suffering a Christian duty—Mistaken Opinion of Young Men in this respect—The Examples presented by the Lives of the Greatly Good—Mighty Achievements in the Cause of Humanity in the Power of a Few—Habits of Good-Humor, Neatness, Order and Regularity due to others—Fastidious Nicety in Matters of the Toilet, demanded by proper respect for our daily Associates—The Importance of Habits of Exercise, Temperance and Relaxation—Economy to be Cultivated as a Habit—Economy not Degrading—Habit of Punctuality—Slavery to mere System condemned—Remark of Sir Joshua Reynolds—Habit of Perseverance—Value of the Habit of putting Ideas into Words—Of Habits of Reflection and Observation—Of rendering Respect to Age, etc.—Culture of Esthetical Perceptions—American Peculiarity—Curiosity not tolerated among the well-bred—The inestimable value of Self-Possession—Its Natural Manifestations—Concluding Advice, | 329 |
ILLUSTRATIONS.
| Jonathan and Queen Victoria.—A Stroll through the World's Palace—A Royal Party—The Yankee Enthroned—A Confession, | 362 |
| Damon and Pythias Modernized.—A Family Council—A Celebrity and a Hotel Dinner—A Discovery—A Sketch—Telegraphing and Triumph—Beer and a Break-down—Drawing-room Chit-chat—A Young Lady's Eulogy—Retort Courteous—A New Acquaintance—An Explanation—Dinner the Second—Sense and Sensibility—A Ruse—A Request and Appointment—A Contrast—Catastrophy—A Note and a Disappointment—Fair Frankness—An Unexpected Rencontre—The Re-union—Pictures and Pleasantries—The Protector of the Helpless, | 363 |
| A Visit To Abbotsford.—Sir Walter Scott as Colonel of Dragoons, Sheriff of the County, Host, Friend, and Author—Mrs. Hemans and Little "Charley"—Courteous Hospitality—At Driburg with Mr. Lockhart—Solution of a Mystery—Sir Walter's favorite "Lieutenant," | 382 |
| Confession of a Celebrated Orator, | 385 |
| The Lemon and the Carnation.—A Stage-Coach Adventure—A fair Passenger—Churlishness and Cheerfulness—A Comic Duet—Stage-Sickness—An impromptu Physician—Offerings—Acknowledgments—A Docile Patient—Welcome Home—Arrival—A Family Group—A Discovery—Recognition—An Invitation—Hospitality—Sunday Evening at the Rectory—The Honorable Occupation of Teaching Young Ladies—A Prophesy—Family Jars—A Compliment, | 386 |
| A Notability and his Newfoundland Dog, | 400 |
| Extremes Meet.—European Travelling-Companion—A cool Place and a "cool" Character—A Foreigner's Criticism—Fair Commentators—Dinner-table Sketch—Three Parties in a Rail-Car—Sunshine and Showers—An Earth-Angel—Anecdote of Thorwalsden, the Danish Sculptor—A Scene—Gentlemanly Inquiries—Paddy's Explanation, | 401 |
| Have You Been Impatient?—A Broken Engagement—About a Horse—Charley's Orphan Cousin—Ideas of Luxury—Novel Experiences—The freed Bird—Bless God for Flowers and Friends!—A Recoil—A Tirade—The Bird Re-caged—Self-Examination—Retrospection and Resolution—A Note and a Boquet—A Blush Transfixed, | 412 |
LETTER XI.
MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.
| The Author's Conscious Incapacity—Education within the Power of All—Americans not Socially Trammelled—The Two Attributes of Mind essential to Self-Culture—Prospective Discernment—The most enlightened System of Education—Duty of Cultivating the Moral as well as the Intellectual Nature—The Acquisition of Wealth not to be regarded as the highest Human Attainment—Definition of Self-Culture—Reading for Amusement only, Unwise—"Aids and Appliances" of Judicious Reading—Example of a Great Man—Fictitious Literature—Pernicious Effects often resulting from a Taste for Light Reading—Condemnation of Licentious Novels—Advantages of Noting Choice Passages in Reading—Carlyle's Criticism of Public Men—The Study of History of Great Importance—Benefits resulting from the Perusal of well-selected Biographies—Enumeration of celebrated Works of this Character—Newspaper and Magazine Reading—A Cultivated Taste in Literature and Art the result of thorough Mental Training—Affectation and Pretention in this regard to be avoided—Critical Assumption condemned—Impressions produced upon observing Judges by a Pretentious Manner—"The World's Dread Laugh"—Advantages of Foreign Travel—Misuse of this Advantage—Knowledge of Modern Languages essential to a complete Education—False Impression prevalent on this point—Philosophic Wisdom—Wise Covetousness—Tact the Result of General Self-Culture—An Individual Moral Code of advantage—Example of Washington—Education not completed by a Knowledge of Books—Definition of True Education—The Development of the Moral Perceptions promotive of Intellectual Advancement—Undue Exaltation of Talent over Virtue—Religious Faith the legitimate Result of rightly-directed Education—Needful Enlightenment of Conscience—The Life of Jesus Christ the best Moral Guide-Book—Charity to the Faults of others the Result of Self-Knowledge—The Golden Rule of the Great Teacher—The highest Aim of Humanity—Reverence for the Spiritual Nature of Man the Result of Self-Culture—Danger of Self-Indulgence in regard to trifling Errors—Caution against the Infidel Philosophy of the Times—The establishment of Fixed Principles of Action—The True Mode of computing Life, | 423 |
| Apollo turned Author: a Bagatelle, | 438 |
| The Attainment of Knowledge under Difficulties—Necessity the Nurse of True Greatness—The Learned Blacksmith—The Wagoner—The Mill-Boy of the Slashes—Franklin and Webster, | 439 |
| A Peep at Passers-by, from the "Loopholes of Retreat," | 440 |
| The Force of Genius—A Man about Town—Anecdote—Manly Indignation, | 441 |
| Old-Fashioned Honor, | 442 |
| Webster on Biblical Studies, | 443 |
| The Young Frenchman and the Pyramids, | 443 |
| Peccadilloes and Punctiliousness.—Extract—Sir Humphrey Davy—Tribute to Religion, | 446 |
LETTER XII.
CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.—SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN LIFE.—COURTSHIP.—MARRIAGE.—HOUSEKEEPING.—PECUNIARY MATTERS.
| Rule to be observed in the Selection of Associates—Advantage of the Companionship of Persons of more Experience than Ourselves—False Sentiments entertained by Lord Byron regarding Friendship—Self-Consciousness affords the best Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions—Value of Friendship—Importance of the Judicious Selection of Confidants—Folly of demanding Perfection in one's Friends—Selection of Employment—The first Consideration in this Relation—Thorough Education should not be confined to Candidates for the Learned Professions—The Merchant Princes of America—Avenues for Effort—All Honest Occupations dignified by Right Conduct—The Pursuit of Wealth as an End—Freedom the Prerogative of the Worker—A Professional Manner Condemned—Individual Insignificance—Advantages of Early Marriage—Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness—Each Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites—Health, Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife—Accomplishments not essential to Domestic Happiness—Disadvantages resulting from a previous Fashionable Career—A True Wife—Respect due to the proper Guardians of a Lady by her Suitor—Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady—Reserve and Respect of Manner due to Female Friends—Manly Frankness as a Suitor the only Honorable Course—Attachment to one Woman no Excuse for Rudeness to others—The Art of Pleasing—Presents, Complimentary Attentions, etc.—Nicety of Perception usual in Women—Power of the Law of Kindness in Home-Life—The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to be carefully avoided—The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right Influence over his Wife—Union of Spirit the only Satisfying Bond—More than Roman Sternness assumed by some—Sacredness of all the Better Emotions of the Human Heart—Expressive Synonymes—Pecuniary Matters—The Pernicious Effects of Boarding—An Old Man's Advice—Household Gods—Propriety of Providing for Future Contingencies—Slavery Imposed by Pride and Poverty—Comfort and Refinement compatible with Moderate Resources—Books and Works of Art to be preferred to Fine Furniture—Importance of Cherishing the Esthetical Tastes of Children—"Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social and Domestic Life, | 447 |
ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC.
| The Mooted Point.—A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations—Macaulay and the Blanket Coat—Curate's Daughters and the Daughters of New-England—A Sybarite—A Disclaimer and a Witticism—Not a Gentleman—"Trifles make the sum of Human Things"—The Slough of Despond—A Gift—Reading Poetry—A Soldier's Tactics—The "Unpardonable Sin"—A Fair Champion and a Noble Sentiment, | 463 |
| Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an American Statesman, | 470 |
| Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion, | 472 |
| Habits of Early Friends, | 478 |
| The Prophecy Fulfilled.—A Denouement—Cupid turned Carrier—Wedding-Cards and Welcome News—A True Woman's Letter, | 478 |
| Uncle Hal's Farewell, | 480 |
DRESS.
My dear young Friends:—
As you are already, to some extent, acquainted with the design and scope of the Letters I propose to address to you, there is no necessity for an elaborate prelude at the commencement of the series.
We will, with your permission, devote our attention first to Dress—to the external man—and advance, in accordance with the true rules of Art, gradually, towards more important subjects.
Whatever may be the abstract opinions individually entertained respecting the taste and regard for comfort evinced in the costume now, with trifling variations, almost universally adopted by men in all civilized lands, few will dispute the practical utility of conforming to the general requisitions of Fashion.
Happily for the gratification of fancy, however, the all-potent goddess, arbitrary and imperative as are her laws, permits, at least to some extent, such variations from her general standard as personal convenience, physical peculiarities, or varying circumstances may require.
But a due regard for these and similar considerations by no means involves the exhibition of eccentricity, which I hold to be inconsistent with good taste, whether displayed in dress or manner.
A violation of the established rules of Convention cannot easily be defended, except when required by our obligations to the more strenuous requirements of duty. Usually, however, departures from conventional propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character. The Laws of Convention, like all wise laws, are instituted to promote "the greatest good of the greatest number." They constitute a Code of Politeness and Propriety, adapted to the promotion of social convenience, varying somewhat with local circumstances, it may be, but everywhere substantially the same. It is common to talk of the eccentricities of genius, as though they are essential concomitants of genius itself. Nothing can be more unfounded and pernicious than this impression. The eccentricities that sometimes characterize the intellectually gifted, are but so many humiliating proofs of the imperfection of human nature, even when exhibiting its highest attributes. Hence the affectation of such peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule, and, in many instances, to the contempt of sensible people.
Some years since, when Byron was the "bright, particular star" worshipped by young Sophs, it was quite a habit among our juvenile collegians to drink gin, wear their collars à la mode de Byron, cultivate misanthropy upon system, and manifest the most concentrated horror of seeing women eat! In too many instances, the sublimity of genius was meagerly illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety. In place of catching an inspiration, they only caught cold; their gloomy indifference to the hopes, the enjoyments, and pursuits of ordinary life, distressed no one, save, perhaps, their ci-devant nurses, or the "most tender of mothers;" their "killing" peculiarities of costume were scarcely daguerreotyped even upon the impressible hearts of the school-girls whose smiling observance they might chance passingly to arrest; women of sense and education pertinaciously adhered to a liking for roast beef, with variations, and manifested an equally decided partiality for the society and attention of men who were not indebted for the activity of their intellects to the agency of the juniper berry! Falling into such absurdities as these, a man cannot hope to escape the obnoxious imputation of being very young!
But while care is taken to avoid the display of undue attention to the adornment of the outer man, everything approaching to indifference or neglect, in that regard, should be considered equally reprehensible. No one entertains a more profound respect for the prodigious learning of Dr. Johnson, from knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than change his linen; nor are we more impressed by the gallant tribute to kindred genius that induced his attending Mrs. Siddons to her carriage, when she visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to occupy even in his old age, because his trunk-hose were dangling about his heels, as he descended the stairs with his fair guest. One does not envy Porson, the greatest of modern Greek scholars, his habitually dirty and shabby dress, because it is forever associated with his learned celebrity! Neither is Greeley a better, or more influential editor, that he is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except when encased in a long drab-colored overcoat. He, however, seems to have adopted an axiom laid down in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my youth—"Thaddeus of Warsaw," I think—"Acquire the character of an oddity, and you seat yourself in an easy-chair for life." The supposition of monomania most charitably explains the indulgence in habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized the distinguished savant ——, who died recently at Paris. Had he slept in a clean bed, and observed the decencies of life, generally, the race would have been equally benefited by his additions to scientific lore, and his country the more honored that he left a name in no degree in bad odor with the world!
But to return:—No better uninspired model for young Americans exists than that afforded, in the most minute details, of the life and character of Washington; and even upon a point comparatively so insignificant as that we are at present discussing, he has left us his recorded opinion: "Always," he writes to his nephew, "have your clothes made of the best materials, by the most accomplished persons in their business, whose services you can command, and in the prevailing fashion."
With such illustrious authority for the advice, then, I unhesitatingly counsel you to dress in the fashion.
To descend to particulars designed to include all the minutiæ of a gentleman's wardrobe, were as futile as useless; but a few hints upon this point, may, nevertheless, not be wholly out of place in epistles so frank, practical and familiar as these are intended to be.
The universal partiality of our countrymen for black, as the color of dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners. Among the best dressed men on the continent, as well as in England, black, though not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown and green, and for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics. An English gentleman, for instance, is never seen in the morning (which means abroad all that portion of the twenty-four hours devoted to business, out-door amusements and pursuits, &c.;—it is always morning until the late dinner hour has passed) in the half-worn coat of fine black cloth, that so inevitably gives a man a sort of shabby-genteel look; but in some strong-looking, rough, knock-about "fixin," frequently of nondescript form and fashion, but admirably adapted both in shape and material for use—for work. Of this, by the way, every man, worthy of the name, has a daily portion to perform, in some shape or other—from the Duke of Devonshire, with a fortune that would purchase half-a-dozen consort-king-growing German principalities, and leave a princely inheritance for his successors, to the youngest son of a youngest son, who, though proud of the "gentle blood" in his veins, earns, as an employé in the service of the government,—in some one of its ten thousand forms of patronage and power—the limited salary that barely suffices, when eked out by the most ingenious economy, to supply the hereditary necessities of a gentleman. But this is a digression. As I was saying in the morning, during work-hours, whatever be a man's employment, and wherever, his outside garb should be suited to ease and convenience, its only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous cleanliness, and the invariable accompaniment of fresh linen.
Coming to the discussion of matters appertaining to a toilette elaborate enough for occasions of ceremony, I think of no better general rule than that laid down by Dr. Johnson (in his character of a shrewd observer of men and manners, rather than as himself affording an illustration of the axiom, perhaps)—"the best dressed persons are those in whose attire nothing in particular attracts attention."
There is an indescribable air of refinement, a je ne sais quoi, as the French have it, at an equal remove from the over-washed look of your thorough Englishman (their close-cropped hair always reminds me of the incipient stage of preparation for assuming a strait-jacket!) and the walking tailor's advertisement that perambulates Fifth Avenue, Chestnut-street, the Boston Mall, and other fashionable promenades in our cis-Atlantic cities, in attendance upon the locomotive milliner's show-cases, yclept "belles"—God save the mark!
The essentials of a gentleman's dress, for occasions of ceremony are—a stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color, and of unexceptionable quality; nether garments to correspond, or in warm weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a fashionable material and make; the finest and purest linen, embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest, of some dark or neutral tint, according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer, and the prevailing mode; a fresh-looking, fashionable black hat and carefully-fitted, modish boots, light-colored gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief.
Perhaps, the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits her subjects more license in regard to the arrangement of the hair and beard, than with respect to any other matter of the outer man. A real artist, and such every man should be, who meddles with the "human face divine" or its adjuncts, will discern at a glance the capabilities of each head submitted to his manipulation. Defects will thus be lessened, or wholly concealed, and good points brought out.
If you wear your beard, wear it in moderation—extremes are always vulgar! Avoid all fantastic arrangements of the hair—turning it under in a huge roll, smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine, and as little suggestive of good taste and comfort as would be the coil of a boa constrictor similarly located, parting it in Miss Nancy style, and twisting it into love [soap?] locks with a curling-tongs, or allowing it to straggle in long and often, seemingly, "uncombed and unkempt" masses over the coat-collar. This last outrage of good-taste is so gross a violation of what is technically called "keeping," as to excite in me extreme disgust. Ill, indeed, does it accord with the trim, compact, easily-portable costume of our day, and a miserable imitation, it is of the flowing hair that, in days of yore, fell naturally and gracefully upon the broad lace collar turned down over the velvet or satin short-cloak of the cavaliers and appropriately adorning shoulders upon which, with equal fitness, drooped a long, waving plume, from the wide-brimmed, steeple-crowned, picturesque hat that completed the costume.
While on this subject of collars, etc., let us stop to discuss for a moment the nice matter of their size and shape. Just now, like the "life" of a "poor old man," they have "dwindled to the shortest span," under the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode. Whether this is the result of a necessity growing with the lengthening beards that threaten wholly to ignore their existence, you must determine for yourselves, but I must enter my protest against the total extinction of this relieving line of white, so long, at least, as the broad wristband, now so appropriately accompanying the wide coat-sleeve, shall remain in vogue.
The mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally brings to mind the highly ornate style of sleeve-buttons now so generally adopted. Eschew, I pray you, all flash stones for these or any other personal ornament. Nothing is more unexceptionable for sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of the front of a shirt, than fine gold, fashioned in some simple form, sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability, and skillfully and handsomely wrought, if ornamented at all. Few young men can consistently wear diamonds, and they are, if not positively exceptionable, in no degree requisite to the completion of the most elaborate toilette. But those who do sport them, should confine themselves to genuine stones of unmistakable water, and never let their number induce in the minds of beholders the recollection that a travelling Jew—whether from hereditary distrust of the stability of circumstances, or from some other consideration of personal convenience, usually carries his entire fortune about his person! Better the simplest fastenings of mother-of-pearl than such staring vulgarity of display. And so of a watch and its appendages. A gentleman carries a watch for convenience, and secures it safely upon his person, wearing with it no useless ornament, paraded to the eye. It is, like his pencil and purse, good of its kind, and if he can afford it, handsome, but it is never flashy!
The fashion of sporting signet-rings is not so general, perhaps, as it was a little while since, but it still retains a place among the minutiæ of our present theme. Here, again, the same general rules of good taste apply as to other ornaments. When worn at all, everything of this sort should be most unexceptionably and unmistakably tasteful and genuine. Any deviation from good ton, in this regard, will as inevitably give a man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting boot will, or the slightest declension from the perpendicular in his hat!
In connection with my earnest advice in regard to all flash ornaments, to whatever purpose applied, I must not omit to record my protest against staring patterns in pants, cravats, vests, etc. Carefully avoid all the large, many-colored plaids and stripes, of which (as Punch has demonstrated) it takes more than one ordinary-sized man to show the pattern; and all glaring colors as well. I have no partiality, as I believe I have intimated, for the eternal dead black which, abroad at least, belongs, by usage, primarily to the clergy; but this is a better extreme than that which has for its original type the sign-board getting-up of a horse-jockey.
A fashion has of late years obtained extensively, which has always, within my remembrance, had its admirers—that of a white suit throughout, for very warm weather. This has the great merit of comfort, and some occupations permit its adoption without inconvenience. But even the use of thin summer cravats (which should always be of some unconspicuous color) wonderfully mitigates the sufferings incident to the dog-days, and these are admissible for dress occasions, when corresponding with the general effect of the vest and nether investments.
To recur once more to the important item of body linen;—never wear a colored[1] shirt—have no such article in your wardrobe. Figures and stripes do not conceal impurity, nor should this be a desideratum with any decent man. The now almost obsolete German author, Kotzebue—whose plays were very much admired when I was young, and whom your modern students of German should read in the original—I remember, makes one of his female characters, a sensible, observing woman, say that she detected a gentleman in the disguise of a menial by observing the fineness of his linen! If your occupation be such as to require strong, rough-and-tumble garments, wear them, unhesitatingly, when you are at work, but have them good of their kind, and keep them clean. While your dress handkerchief should not look, either for size or quality, as if you had, for the nonce, perverted the proper use of bed-linen—in the woods, for pioneer travelling, rough riding, etc., a bandanna is more sensible, as is a cut-away coat, or something of that sort, with ample pockets, loose, strong, and warm, and a "soft" broad-brimmed, durable hat, or cap, as the case may be—not an old, fine black cloth dress-coat, surmounted by a narrow-rimmed "segment of a stove-pipe," with a satin cravat, though it be half-worn! In short, my dear boys, study fitness and propriety in all things. This is the legitimate result of a well regulated mind, the characteristic of a true Gentleman—which every American should aim to be—not a thing made up of dress, perfumery, and "boos," as Sir Archy McSycophant styled them; but a right-minded, self-respecting man, with Excelsior for his motto, and our broad, free, glorious land "all before him, where to choose" the theatre of a useful, honorable life. Matters like those I have dwelt on in this letter, are trifles, comparatively; but trifles, in the aggregate, make life, and, thus viewed, are not unworthy the subordinate attention of a man of sense. They are collateral, I admit, but they go to make up the perfect whole—to assist in the attainment of the true standard which every young man should keep steadily in view. And, insignificant as the effect of attention to such matters may appear to you, depend upon it, that habits of propriety and refinement in regard to such personal details, have more than a negative influence upon character in general. The man who preserves inviolable his self-respect, in regard to all personal habits and surroundings, is, ceteris paribus, far less likely to acquire a relish for low company and profligate indulgences, and to cultivate correspondent mental and moral attributes. It occurs to me that, going into detail, as I have, your attention should, in the proper connection, have been called to a little matter of dress etiquette, of which you moderns are strangely neglectful, as it appears to an old stickler for propriety like me. To have offered an ungloved hand to a lady, in the dance, would, in days when I courted the graces, have been esteemed a peccadillo, and over-punctilious as you may think me, it seems very unhandsome to me. A dress costume is no more complete without gloves than without boots, and to touch the pure glove of a lady with uncovered fingers is—impertinent!
Here, again, let me condemn all fancy display. A fresh white, or, what amounts at night to the same thing, pale yellow glove, is the only admissible thing for balls, other large evening parties, ceremonious dinners, and wedding receptions; but for making ordinary morning visits, or for the street, some dark, unnoticeable color is in quite as good taste and ton. Bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much conspicuousness for good effect, and, to my mind, give the whole man a plebeian air. I remember once being, for a long time, unable to divine what a finely-dressed young fellow, in whom I thought I recognised the son of an old college chum, could be carrying in each hand, as he walked towards me across the Albany Park; of similar size and color, he seemed, John Gilpin like, to have
When I could, in sailor phrase, "make him out," behold a pair of great fat hands, incased in tight-fitting gloves, closely resembling in hue the brightest orange-colored wrapping-paper!
You will expect me not entirely to overlook the important topic of over-garments.
As in all similar matters, it is the best taste not to deviate so much from the prevailing modes as to make one's self remarkable. Fortunately, however, for the infinite diversity presented by the human form, a sufficient variety in this respect is offered by fashion to gratify the greatest fastidiousness. And no point of dress, perhaps, more imperatively demands discrimination, with regard to its selection. Thus, a tall, slender figure, with narrow shoulders and ill-developed arms, is displayed to little advantage in the close-fitting, long-skirted overcoat that would give desirable compactness to the rotund person of our short, portly friend, Alderman D., while the defects of the same form would be almost wholly concealed by one of the graceful and convenient Talmas that so successfully combine beauty and comfort, and afford, to an artistically-cultivated eye, the nearest approach to an abstract standard of taste, presented by masculine attire, since the flowing short cloak of the so-called Spanish costume was in vogue.
Here, again, one is reminded of the propriety of regarding fitness in the selection of garments especially designed to promote comfort. Nothing can well be more ungainly than the appearance of a man in one of the large woollen shawls that have of late obtained such general favor, at least as they are frequently worn, slouching loosely from the shoulders, and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop, the more readily to retain them in place. They are well adapted to night travel, to exposed riding and driving (when properly secured about the chest), and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed for the opera or a ball. But that any sensible person should encumber himself with such an appendage in walking—for daily street wear—is matter for surprise. They have by no means the merit for this purpose of the South American poncho, which is simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth, with an opening in the centre for passing it over the head, thus securing it in place, and giving the wearer the free use of his arms and hands, a desideratum quite overlooked in the usual arrangement, or rather non-arrangement of these dangling "M'cGregors." But the way, I well remember, that one of the young T——s of Albany, not very many years ago, was literally mobbed in the streets of that ancient asylum of Dutch predilections, upon his appearance there in a poncho brought with him on his return from Brazil! So much for the mutations of fashion and opinion!
To sum up all, let me slightly paraphrase the laconic and invariable advice of the immortal Nelson to the young middies under his command. "Always obey your superior officer," said the English hero, "and hate a Frenchman as you would the devil!" Now then, for my "new reading:"—In DRESS, always obey the dictates of Fashion, regulated by good sense, and hate shabby gentility as you would the devil!
Well, you young dogs, here ends the substance of my first old-fashioned letter of advice to you. I will confess that upon being convinced, as I was at the very outset, how much easier it is to think and talk than to write, I was more than half inclined to recall my promise to you all. The pen of your veteran uncle, my boys, has little of "fuss and feathers," though it may be "rough and ready." The "Mill-Boy of the Slashes" used often to say, when we were both young men, and constantly associated in business matters as well as in friendship, "Let Lunettes do that, he holds the readier pen;" but times are changed since then, and you must not expect fine rhetorical flourishes, or the elegances of modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions. I learned my English when "Johnson's Dictionary" was the only standard of our language, and the "Spectator" regarded as affording an unexceptionable model of style. With this proviso, I dare say, we shall get on bravely, now that we are once fairly afloat; and, perhaps, some day we'll get an enterprising publisher in our Quaker City to shape these effusions into a "prent book" for private circulation—a capital idea! at least for redeeming my crabbed hieroglyphics from being "damned with faint praise" by my "numerous readers," a thought by no means palatable to the sensitive mind of your old relative.
I believe it was "nominated in the bond," that the subjects treated of in each of my promised letters shall be illustrated by stories, or anecdotes, drawn from what you were pleased to style "the ample stores furnished by a life of large observation and varied experience." It occurs to me, however, that as this, my first awkward essay to gratify your united wishes, has already grown to an inconceivable length, it were well to reserve for another occasion the fulfillment of the latter clause of your request, as more ample space and a less lagging pen may then second the efforts of
P. S.—In my next, I will include some practical directions respecting the details of costume suitable for various ceremonious occasions—the opera, dinners, weddings, etc., etc.
"Whew!" methinks I hear you all exclaim, "our old uncle setting himself up as
"'The glass of fashion and the mould of form!'
He may indeed be able to
——"'hold the mirror up to Nature;'
but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere fashion"——
Not too fast, my young friends! Do not suppose me capable of such folly. But, for the benefit of such of you as are so far removed from the centre of ton as to require such assistance, I have invoked the aid of a good-humored friend, thoroughly au fait in such matters, the "observed of all observers" in our American Belgravia, a luminary in whose rays men do gladly sun themselves.
[1] It will be understood, of course, that the necessities and the regulations of military life are here excepted.
SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.
My dear Nephews:
In accordance with the promise with which I concluded my last letter, I will give you, in this, narrated in my homely way, some anecdotes, illustrative of the opinions I have expressed upon the subject of DRESS.
Liking, sometimes, to amuse myself by a study of the masses, in holyday attire and holyday humor,—to see the bone and sinew of our great country, the people who make our laws, and for whose good they are administered by their servants, enjoying a jubilee, and wishing also to meet some old friends who were to be there (among others, Gen. Wool, who, though politicians accused him of going to lay pipe for the presidency, is a right good fellow, and the very soul of old-fashioned hospitality), I went on one occasion to a little city in western New York, to attend a State Fair.
On the night of the fête that concluded the affair, your cousins, Grace and Gerté, to whom you all say I can refuse nothing, however unreasonable, insisted that I should be their escort, and protested warmly against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an old fellow like me being kept up until after midnight to watch, like a griffin guarding his treasures, while two silly girls danced with some "whiskered Pandoor," or some "fierce huzzar," who would be as much puzzled to tell where he won his epaulettes as was our (militia) Gen. ——, of whom, when he was presented to that sovereign, on the occasion of a court levee, Louis Philippe asked, "where he had served!"
It would not become me to repeat half the flattering things by which their elegant chaperon, Mrs. B. seconded the coaxing declarations of your cousins, that they would be "enough more proud to go with Uncle Hal than with all the half-dozen beaux together," whose services had been formally tendered and accepted for the occasion.
"Yes, indeed," cried Gerté, "for Uncle Hal is a real soldier!" And I believe the wheedling rogue actually pressed her velvety lips to the ugly sabre scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage.
"Col. Lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his arms when ladies are his assailants!" said Mrs. B. with one of her conquering smiles. "Well, ladies," said I, "I cry you mercy—