Title: A Plea for Monogamy
Author: Wilfrid Lay
Release date: September 18, 2019 [eBook #60320]
Most recently updated: October 17, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Tim Lindell and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
A PLEA FOR
MONOGAMY
A PLEA FOR
MONOGAMY
BY
WILFRID LAY, Ph.D.
Author of Man’s Unconscious Conflict, The Child’s Unconscious
Mind, Man’s Unconscious Passion and Man’s
Unconscious Spirit.
BONI and LIVERIGHT
Publishers New York
Copyright, 1923, by
Boni and Liveright, Inc.
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
First Printing, June, 1923
Second Printing, November, 1923
Third Printing November, 1924
Fourth Printing, February, 1925
Fifth Printing, June, 1925
Sixth Printing, August, 1925
Seventh Printing, January, 1926
UXORI
AMANDISSIMAE
| CHAPTER | PAGE | |
| I. | True Conception of Marriage | 1 |
| § 1 Disproportionate emotional and intellectual development, p. 1; § 2 Archaic emotions in marriage, p. 2; § 3 Charity, p. 3; § 4 The sexual crisis, p. 4; § 5 Man’s erotic dominance, p. 6; § 6 Misapprehension about psychoanalysis, p. 7; § 7 Polymorphous-perverse, p. 11; § 8 Marriage the only cure, p. 12; § 9 The normal sex life, p. 12; § 10 The true sense of “erotic,” p. 13. | ||
| II. | Modern Emotional Unrest | 16 |
| § 11 Discontented wives, p. 16; § 12 Playmates and cicisbeos, p. 18; § 13 Wife’s need of playmates is husband’s fault, p. 19; § 14 Innovations in this book, p. 21; § 15 Home spirit the husband’s creation, p. 22; § 16 Masculinity and femininity, p. 23; § 17 Virile love, p. 24; § 18 Arnold Bennett answered, p. 26; § 19 Love at first sight, p. 29; § 20 Mental autoerotism, p. 31; § 21 Mutuality, p. 32; § 22 Mutuality vs. autoerotism, p. 35; § 23 Honeymoons and autoerotism, p. 37; § 24 Barter and quid pro quo, p. 39; § 25 Novel result of modern technique, p. 42; § 26 Satisfaction via two routes, p. 44; § 27 Infant class of husbands, p. 46; § 28 Autosuggestion in marital life, p. 48; § 29 Hypersomatic and hyposomatic, p. 49; § 30 An objection answered, p. 51; § 31 The idea: “I cannot,” p. 52; § 32 Sedentary vs. athletic men, p. 53. | ||
| III. | Emotions | 56 |
| § 33 Emotions as organic sensations, p. 56; § 34 Men as emotional as women, p. 58; § 35 Repression, p. 59; § 36 Erotic emotion, p. 59; § 37 Woman’s repressed emotions, p. 60; § 38 Reassociability, p. 61; § 39 The case of Miss F., p. 62; § 40 The case of Mrs. G., p. 63; § 41 Slight reassociability of erotic emotion, p. 64. | ||
| IV. | Instincts | 66 |
| § 42 Twofold division of instincts, p. 66; § 43 The egoistic-social instinct, p. 67; § 44 Comparison its essential feature, p. 68; § 45 Evolution of the egoistic-social, p. 71; § 46 Plato’s fable, p. 73; § 47 Completeness of life, p. 75; § 48 Not all sex acts are truly erotic, p. 77; § 49 The young man with the clandestine affair, p. 78; § 50 Egoistic-social instincts over-stressed, p. 82; § 51 Present incipient tendency to stress the erotic, p. 83; § 52 Parents’ happy marriage necessary to child’s welfare, p. 85; § 53 The best parental environment, p. 87; § 54 Marital pattern should be seen by children, p. 89; § 55 Instinct in humans inadequate, p. 90; § 56 Three fusions in heterosexual union, p. 91; § 57 Instinctive reasoning by analogy, p. 91; § 58 The greatest human happiness comes from the three fusions, p. 93; § 59 Instinct of woman expects strength in man, p. 93; § 60 Man’s reaction to feminine opposition, p. 94; § 61 Visually unattractive women, p. 95; § 62 The love instinct a bad guide, p. 96; § 63 The ductless glands; superiority of the love instinct, p. 97. | ||
| V. | The Love Episode | 98 |
| § 64 Love is control by husband, the work of a lifetime, p. 98; § 65 The erotologist, p. 99; § 66 Wife the “trembler,” p. 100; § 67 The precipitant husband, p. 102; § 68 A positive expressive control of her love emotions by the wife, p. 103; § 69 The love drama, p. 104; § 70 Man’s occasional embarrassment, p. 105; § 71 Unsatisfactoriness of promiscuity, p. 105; § 72 Marriage as an examination of man by woman, p. 107; § 73 Man’s failure to charm, p. 108; § 74 The love episode, p. 109; § 75 Its extent, p. 110; § 76 Sign of fusion, p. 111; § 77 Test of happiness, p. 112; § 78 “The Secret Places of the Heart,” p. 113; § 79 The Islet, p. 113; § 80 Reflections, p. 118; § 81 The Ocean Shore, p. 121; § 82 Taking a woman’s all, p. 123; § 83 Erotic episode like carving a statue, p. 124; § 84 Love episode only a step in development, p. 124; § 85 Don Juanism’s fallacy, p. 125; § 86 Phantasy of exhaustion, p. 126; § 87 Woman’s infinite variety, p. 126; § 88 Union complete, total and exclusive, p. 128; § 89 Taking a woman’s body, p. 128; § 90 Woman’s right to acme, p. 130; § 91 Consciousness of desire, p. 131; § 92 Woman’s helpless plight, p. 132; § 93 The wife as complementary body, p. 133; § 94 Poverty of emotional development, p. 133; § 95 Energy liberated by erotism, p. 135; § 96 Preparation of the wife, p. 136; § 97 Sufficient time to be given to it, p. 137; § 98 The estrus and its psychological analogue, p. 138; § 99 Futility of average love episodes, p. 139; § 100 Karezza, etc., p. 140; § 101 Their extraordinary result, p. 141; § 102 Their undeniable difficulty, p. 142; § 103 Uselessness of attempting to confine the love impulse, p. 144; § 104 Substitution of vicarious activities, p. 145; § 105 Karezza compared to the Steinach operation, p. 145; § 106 Karezza does not frustrate all emotional relaxation, p. 146; § 107 Wife’s desire to be dominated erotically, p. 148; § 108 Wife-domination not effected by egoistic-social devotion, p. 149; § 109 Marital relations cannot be too truly erotic, p. 151; § 110 Woman’s erotic relaxation necessary, p. 151; § 111 Simultaneity, p. 153; § 112 Autoerotism of the honeymoon, p. 154; § 113 The succession plan, p. 155; § 114 It demonstrates the husband’s erotic control, p. 155; § 115 It insures the basis of a happy marriage, p. 157; § 116 Autosuggestion, p. 159; § 117 Means of securing control, p. 160; § 118 The love pattern an individual matter, p. 161; § 119 Fetishism, p. 162; § 120 Illustrations, p. 163; § 121 The wife’s unconscious attempt to hurry the husband, p. 165; § 122 The mountain climbing, p. 165; § 123 The view at the top, p. 166; § 124 The detail of the peak, p. 168; § 125 Reflections at the top, p. 169; § 126 Accelerating fetishisms, p. 170; § 127 Climbing together, p. 171. | ||
| VI. | Control | 175 |
| § 128 Evolution of erotic over egoistic-social; individuality and control, p. 175; § 129 Erotic control is the only real individuality, p. 178; § 130 The conventional demand, p. 179; § 131 Love impulse the only thing left, p. 181; § 132 Control is not annihilation, p. 182; § 133 Difference between man’s and woman’s control, p. 183; § 134 Man’s lack of erotic control unnecessary, p. 184; § 135 Woman’s inability to control erotically, p. 186; § 136 Phantasy of honeymoon bliss; the test, p. 187; § 137 Women’s confusion of the two controls, p. 190; § 138 Woman’s development dependent on husband’s, p. 192; § 139 Woman’s acme not conditioned by husband’s, p. 193; § 140 Insensitiveness, p. 193; § 141 Anesthesia, p. 195; § 142 Supremity of male control misunderstood, p. 195; § 143 Objection answered, p. 196; § 144 Interplay of control on egoistic-social level, p. 197; § 145 Fallacy of erotic control by woman, p. 198; § 146 Prolongation of love episode, p. 201; § 147 Failure of illicit unerotic sex act to relax erotic tension, p. 203; § 148 Development of husband imperative, p. 205; § 149 Precipitancy caused by fear, p. 206; § 150 Woman’s instinctive attempt to accelerate, p. 209; § 151 Her unconscious man-testing, p. 211; § 152 The wrong instinctive reaction of the husband to the test, p. 212; § 153 Man should know what to expect, p. 214; § 154 Responsibility vs. Fate, p. 216; § 155 The husband’s hallucination, p. 217; § 156 The solitariness of crowds, p. 219; § 157 The wife’s unavoidable resistance, p. 221; § 158 Bride buried under stones, p. 222; § 159 The only truly virile accomplishment, p. 224; § 160 The husband’s anesthesia, p. 224; § 161 Metonymy, the part for the whole, p. 225; § 162 Phantasy, p. 226; § 163 Control through imagination, p. 228; § 164 A score of sense qualities, p. 229; § 165 Manner of mental influence, p. 231; § 166 The work of the mental pattern, p. 231; § 167 Need of a love pattern, p. 232; § 168 Completing the fragmentary wife, p. 233; § 169 More vividness for women, p. 234. | ||
| VII. | The Unhappy Marriage | 236 |
| § 170 Overweighting physical or spiritual, p. 236; § 171 Feeling of identity, p. 237; § 172 Erotic control only a part, p. 239; § 173 Long engagements unnecessary, p. 239; § 174 Changing adaptation needed, p. 240; § 175 Love cannot be delegated, p. 241; § 176 Unconscious polyandry, p. 242; § 177 Masochism, p. 243; § 178 Illicit love enhances erotic element for some women, p. 245; § 179 Freud on promiscuous men, p. 246; § 180 Erotism not masochistic, p. 247; § 181 Jealousy in men and women, p. 248; § 182 Mrs. Samuel Pepys, p. 249; § 183 Jealousy atavistic, p. 250; § 184 Jealousy and homosexuality, p. 251; § 185 Hyposomatic sex is not true erotism, p. 253; § 186 Résumé of Chapters I to VII, p. 255. | ||
| VIII. | Hologamy vs. Prostitution | 259 |
| § 187 Hologamy defined, p. 259; § 188 Erotic as manned and womaned, p. 260; § 189 Comparative monogamy, p. 262; § 190 Health demands unity of personality, p. 263; § 191 Plurality of women a dissociating element, p. 264; § 192 Plurality as a search, p. 267; § 193 Prostitution, p. 268; § 194 Two castes of women, p. 269; § 195 The mother-imago or angel imago, p. 271; § 196 More passion needed in marriage, p. 272; § 197 Futility of prohibition, p. 273; § 198 Ellis’ “civilization value of prostitution” answered, p. 274. | ||
| IX. | The New Marriage | 276 |
| § 199 Two meanings of “single standard,” p. 276; § 200 What constitutes mastery, p. 277; § 201 Disappointments in marriage, p. 279; § 202 The father’s part in the home, p. 280; § 203 An illustration, p. 283; § 204 Management of children an egoistic-social activity, p. 284; § 204 New man and new woman not to confuse egoistic-social and erotic levels, p. 286; § 206 Prodigality of nature, p. 287; § 207 Trial marriage and romantic marriage, p. 289; § 208 Rapport, p. 290; § 209 Erotic unions, p. 292; § 210 Virginity, p. 292; § 211 Unconscious resentment of bride, p. 293; § 212 Futility of extra-marital liaisons, p. 294; § 213 Conclusion, p. 297. | ||
| X. | Birth Control | 298 |
| § 214 Ready to print but cannot legally be printed, p. 298. | ||
| Index | 301 |