The ox was brazen, long since past all boiling,
But he perhaps had taken a sucking-pig,
And slaughter'd that.

And Anacreon says—

Like a young sucking kid, which when it leaves
Its mother in the wood, trembles with fear.

And Crates, in his Neighbours, says—

For now we constantly have feasts of lovers,
As long as we have store of lambs and pigs
Not taken from their dams.

And Simonides represents Danae as speaking thus over Perseus—

O my dear child, what mis'ry tears my soul!
But you lie sleeping,
You slumber with your unwean'd heart.

And in another place he says of Archemorus—

Alas the wreath! They wept the unwean'd child,
Breathing out his sweet soul in bitter pangs.

And Clearchus, in his Lives, says that Phalaris the tyrant had arrived at such a pitch of cruelty, that he used to feast on sucking children. And there is a verb θῆσθαι, which means to suck milk, (Homer says—

Hector is mortal, and has suck'd the breast;)

because the mother's breast is put into the mouth of the infant. And that is the derivation of the word τίτσθος, breast, from τίθημι, to place, because the breasts are thus placed in the children's mouths.

After she'd lull'd to sleep the new-born kids,
As yet unweaned from their mother's breast.

55. And when some antelopes were brought round, Palmedes of Elea, the collector of words, said—It is not bad meat that of the antelopes (δόρκωνες). And Myrtilus said to him—The word is only δορκάδες, not δόρκωνες. Xenophon, in the first book of his Anabasis, says, "And there were in that part bustards and δορκάδες."

56. The next thing to be mentioned is the peacock. And that this is a rare bird is shown by what Antiphanes says in his Soldier, or Tychon, where his words are—

And then some man brought in one single pair
Of peacocks to the city; 'twas a sight
Wondrous to see; now they're as thick as quails.

And Eubulus says in his Phoenix—

The peacock is admired for his rarity.

"The peacock," says Aristotle, "is cloven-footed, and feeds on herbage; it begins to breed when it is three years old, at which age it also gets the rich and varied colours of its plumage; and it sits on its eggs about thirty days, and once a-year it lays twelve eggs, and it lays these not all at once, but at intervals, laying every third day. But the first year of a hen's laying she does not lay more than eight eggs; and she sometimes lays wind eggs like the common hen, but never more than two; and she sits upon her eggs and hatches them very much in the same way as the common hen does." And Eupolis, in his Deserters from the Army, speaks of the peacock in the following terms—

Lest I should keep in Pluto's realm,
A peacock such as this, who wakes the sleepers.

And there is a speech extant, by Antiphanes the orator, which is entitled, On Peacocks. And in that speech there is not one express mention of the name peacock, but he repeatedly speaks of them in it as birds of variegated plumage, saying—"That Demus, the son of Pyrilampes, breeds these birds, and that out of a desire to see these birds, a great many people come from Lacedæmon and from Thessaly, and show great anxiety to get some of the eggs." And with respect to their appearance he writes thus—"If any one wishes to remove these birds into a city, they will fly away and depart; and if he cuts their wings he takes away their beauty. For their wings are their beauty, and not their body." And that people used to be very anxious to see them he tells us subsequently in the same book, where he says; "But at the time of the festival of the new moon, any one who likes is admitted to see them, but on other days if any one comes and wishes to see them he is never allowed to do so; and this is not a custom of yesterday, or a recent practice, but one which has subsisted for more than thirty years."

THE ATTIC FORM OF NOUNS IN ΩΣ.

57. "But the Athenians call the word ταῶς," as Tryphon tells us, "circumflexing and aspirating the last syllable. And they read it spelt in this way in the Deserters from the Army of Eupolis, in the passage which has been already quoted, and in the Birds of Aristophanes—

Are you then Tereus? are you a bird or a peacock (ταῶς)?

And in another passage he writes—

A bird then; what kind? is it not a peacock (ταῶς)?

But in the dative they say ταὧνι, as Aristophanes does in the same play. But it is quite impossible in the Attic or Ionic dialects that, in nouns which have more than one syllable, the last syllable beginning with a vowel should be aspirated; for it is quite inevitable that it should be pronounced with a lene breathing, as νεὢς, λεὢς, Τυνδάρεὠς, Μενέλεὠς, λειπόνεὠς, εὔνεὠς, Νείλεὠς, πρᾶὀς, ὑίὀς, Κεῖὀς, χῖὀς, δῖὀς, χρεῖὀς, πλεῖὀς, λεῖὀς, λαιὄς, βαιὂς, φαιὂς, πηὂς, γόὀς, θοὂς, ῥόὀς, ζωὄς. For the aspirate is fond of beginning a word, and is by nature inclined to the lead, and is never included in the last part of a word. And the name ταὧς is derived from the extension (τάσις) of the wings." And Seleucus, in the fifth book of his treatise on Hellenisms, says: "The peacock, ταὧς:—but the Attics, contrary to all rule, both aspirate and circumflex the last syllable; but the aspirate is only attached to the first vowel when it begins a word in the simple pronunciation of the word, and there taking the lead, and running on more swiftly, it has the first place in the word. Accordingly, the Athenians, in consequence of this arrangement, observing the inherent character of this breathing, do not put it on vowels, as they do often accents and breathings, but put it before them. And I think that the ancients used to mark the aspirate by the character H, on which account the Romans write the letter H at the beginning of all aspirated nouns, showing its predominant nature; and if this be the proper character of the aspirate, it is plain that it is contrary to all reason and analogy that the word ταῶς has any breathing at all marked upon it by the Attic writers."

58. And as at the banquet a great many more discussions arose about each of the dishes that were served up;—But I, said Laurentius, according to the example of our most excellent friend Ulpian, will myself also say something to you (for we are feeding on discussions). What do you think of the grouse? And when some one said,—He is a species of bird; (but it is the custom of the sons of the grammarians to say of anything that is mentioned to them in this way, It is a species of plant, a species of bird, a species of stone;) Laurentius said—And I, my good friend, am aware that the admirable Aristophanes, in his Birds, mentions the grouse in the following lines—

With the porphyrion and the pelican,
And pelecinnus, and the phlexis too,
The grouse and peacock.

But I wish to learn from you whether there is any mention of the bird in any other author. For Alexander the Myndian, in the second book of his treatise on Winged Animals, speaks of it as a bird of no great size, but rather as one of the smaller birds. For his words are these—"The grouse, a bird about the size of rook, of an earthenware colour, variegated with dirty coloured spots, and long lines, feeding on fruit; and when it lays its eggs t cackles (τετράζει). from which it derives its name (τέτραξ)." And Epicharmus, in his Hebe's Wedding, says—

For when you've taken quails and sparrows too,
And larks who love to robe themselves in dust,
And grouse, and rooks, and beauteous fig-peckers.

And in another passage he says—

There were the herons with their long bending necks,
A numerous flock; and grouse, and rooks besides.

LOINS.

But since none of you have anything to say on the subject (as you are all silent), I will show you the bird itself; for when I was the Emperor's Procurator in Mysia, and the superintendent of all the affairs of that province, I saw the bird in that country. And learning that it was called by this name among the Mysians and Pæonians, I recollected what the bird was by the description given of it by Aristophanes. And believing that this bird was considered by the all-accomplished Aristotle worthy of being mentioned in that work of his worth many talents (for it is said that the Stagirite received eight hundred talents from Alexander as his contribution towards perfecting his History of Animals), when I found that there was no mention of it in this work, I was delighted at having the admirable Aristophanes as an unimpeachable witness in the matter. And while he was saying this, a slave came in bringing in the grouse in a basket; but it was in size larger than the largest cock of the common poultry, and in appearance it was very like the porphyrion; and it had wattles hanging from its ears on each side like the common cock; and its voice was loud and harsh. And so after we had admired the beauty of the bird, in a short time one was served up on the table dressed; and the meat of him was like that of the ostrich, which we were often in the habit of eating.

59. There was a dish too called loins (ψύαι). The poet who wrote the poem called The Return of the Atridæ, in the third book says—

And with his rapid feet Hermioneus
Caught Nisus, and his loins with spear transfix'd.

And Simaristus, in the third book of his Synonymes, writes thus: "The flesh of the loins which stands out on each side s called ψύαι, and the hollows on each side they call κύβοι and γάλλιαι." And Clearchus, in the second book of his treatise on The Joints in the Human Body, speaks thus: "There is flesh full of muscle on each side; which some people call ψύαι, and others call ἀλώπεκες, and others νευρόμητραι." And the admirable Hippocrates also speaks of ψύαι; and they get this name from being easily wiped (ἀπὸ τοῦ ῥαδίως ἀποψᾶσθαι), or as being flesh lightly touching (ἐπιψαύουσα) the bones, and lying lightly on the surface of them. And Euphron the comic poet mentions them in his Theori—

There is a lobe and parts, too, called ψύαι;
Learn to cut these before you view the sacrifice.

60. There is a dish too made of udder. Teleclides, in his Rigid Men, says—

Since I'm a female, I must have an udder.

Herodotus, in the fourth book of his History, uses the same term when speaking of horses; but it is rare to find the word (οὖθαρ) applied to the other animals; but the word most commonly used is ὑπογάστριον, as in the case of fishes. Strattis, in his Atalanta, says—

The ὑπογάστριον and the extremities
Of the large tunny.

And Theopompus, in his Callæschrus, says—

A. And th' ὑπογάστρια of fish.
B. O, Ceres!

But in the Sirens he calls it not ὑπογάστρια, but ὑπήτρια, saying—

Th' ὑπήτρια of white Sicilian tunnies.

61. We must now speak of the hare; concerning this animal Archestratus, that author so curious in his dishes, speaks thus—

Many are the ways and many the recipes
For dressing hares; but this is best of all,
To place before a hungry set of guests,
A slice of roasted meat fresh from the spit,
Hot, season'd only with plain simple salt,
Not too much done. And do not you be vex'd
At seeing blood fresh trickling from the meat,
But eat it eagerly. All other ways
Are quite superfluous, such as when cooks pour
A lot of sticky clammy sauce upon it,
Parings of cheese, and lees, and dregs of oil,
As if they were preparing cat's meat.

And Naucrates the comic poet, in his Persia, says that it is an uncommon thing to find a hare in Attica: and he speaks thus—

For who in rocky Attica e'er saw
A lion or any other similar beast,
Where 'tis not easy e'en to find a hare?

But Alcæus, in his Callisto, speaks of hares as being plentiful, and says—

You should have coriander seed so fine
That, when we've got some hares, we may be able
To sprinkle them with that small seed and salt.

62. And Tryphon says,—"Aristophanes, in his Danaides, uses the form λαγὼν in the accusative case with an acute accent on the last syllable, and with a ν for the final letter, saying—

And when he starts perhaps he may be able
To help us catch a hare (λαγών).

And in his Daitaleis he says—

I am undone, I shall be surely seen
Plucking the fur from off the hare (λαγών).

But Xenophon, in his treatise on Hunting, writes the accusative λαγω without the ν, and with a circumflex accent. But among us the ordinary form of the nominative case is λαγός; and as we say ναὸς, and the Attics νεὼς, and as we say λαὸς, and the Attics λεώς; so, while we call this animal λαγὸς, they call him λαγώς. And as for our using the form λαγὸν in the accusative case singular, to that we find a corresponding nominative plural in Sophocles, in his Amycus, a satyric drama; where he enumerates—

HARES.
Cranes, crows, and owls, and kites, and hares (λαγοι).

But there is also a form of the nominative plural corresponding to the accusative λαγὼν, ending in ω, as found in the Flatterers of Eupolis—

Where there are rays, and hares (λαγὼ), and light-footed women.

But some people, contrary to all reason, circumflex the last syllable of this form λαγώ; but it ought to have an acute accent, since all the nouns which end in ος, even when they are changed into ως by the Attic writers, still preserve the same accent as if they had undergone no alteration; as ναὸς, νεώς; κάλος, κάλως. And so, too, Epicharmus used this noun, and Herodotus, and the author of the poem called the Helots. Moreover, λαγὸς is the Ionic form—

Rouse the sea-hare (λαγὸς) before you drink the water;

and λαγὼς the Attic one. But the Attic writers use also the form λαγός; as Sophocles, in the line above quoted—

Cranes, crows, and owls, and hares (λαγοι).

There is also a line in Homer, where he says—

ἢ πτῶκα λαγωόν.

Now, if we have regard to the Ionic dialect, we say that ω is interpolated; and if we measure it by the Attic dialect, then we say the ο is so: and the meat of the hare is called λαγῶα κρέα.

63. But Hegesander the Delphian, in his Commentaries, says that in the reign of Antigonus Gonatas, there were such a number of hares in the island of Astypalæa, that the natives consulted the oracle on the subject. And the Pythia answered them that they ought to breed dogs, and hunt them; and so in one year there were caught more than six thousand. And all this immense number arose from a man of the island of Anaphe having put one pair of hares in the island. As also, on a previous occasion, when a certain Astypalæan had let loose a pair of partridges in the island of Anaphe, there came to be such a number of partridges in Anaphe, that the inhabitants ran a risk of being driven out of the island by them. But originally Astypalæa had no hares at all, but only partridges. And the hare is a very prolific animal, as Xenophon has told us, in his treatise on Hunting; and Herodotus speaks of it in the following terms—"Since the hare is hunted by everything—man, beast, and bird—it is on this account a very prolific animal; and it is the only animal known which is capable of superfetation. And it has in its womb at one time one litter with the fur on, and another bare, and another just formed, and a fourth only just conceived." And Polybius, in the twelfth book of his History, says that there is another animal like the hare which is called the rabbit (κούνικλος); and he writes as follows—"The animal called the rabbit, when seen at a distance, looks like a small hare; but when any one takes it in his hands, there is a great difference between them, both in appearance and taste: and it lives chiefly underground." And Posidonius the philosopher also mentions them in his History; and we ourselves have seen a great many in our voyage from Dicæarchia[33] to Naples. For there is an island not far from the mainland, opposite the lower side of Dicæarchia, inhabited by only a very scanty population, but having a great number of rabbits. And there is also a kind of hare called the Chelidonian hare, which is mentioned by Diphilus, or Calliades, in his play called Ignorance, in the following terms—

What is this? whence this hare who bears the name
Of Chelidonian? Is it grey hare soup,
Mimarcys call'd, so thick with blood?

And Theophrastus, in the twentieth book of his History, says that there are hares about Bisaltia which have two livers.

THE WORD ΣΥΑΓΡΟΣ.

64. And when a wild boar was put upon the table, which was in no respect less than that noble Calydonian boar which has been so much celebrated,—I suggest to you now, said he, O my most philosophical and precise Ulpian, to inquire who ever said that the Calydonian boar was a female, and that her meat was white. But he, without giving the matter any long consideration, but rather turning the question off, said—But it does seem to me, my friends, that if you are not yet satisfied, after having had such plenty of all these things, that you surpass every one who has ever been celebrated for his powers of eating,—and who those people are you can find out by inquiry. But it is more correct and more consistent with etymology to make the name σὺς, with a ς; for the animal has its name from rushing (σεύομαι) and going on impetuously; but men have got a trick of pronouncing the word without the ς, ὗς; and some people believe that it is called σῦν, by being softened from θῦν, as if it had its name from being a fit animal to sacrifice (θύειν). But now, if it seems good to you, answer me who ever uses the compound word like we do, calling the wild boar not σῦς ἄγριος, but σύαγρος̣ At all events, Sophocles, in his Lovers of Achilles, has applied the word σύαγρος to a dog, as hunting the boar (ἀπὸ τοῦ σῦς ἀγρεύειν), where he says—

And you, Syagre, child of Pelion.

And in Herodotus we find Syagrus used as a proper name of a man who was a Lacedæmonian by birth, and who went on the embassy to Gelon the Syracusan, about forming an alliance against the Medes; which Herodotus mentions in the seventh book of his History. And I am aware, too, that there was a general of the Ætolians named Syagrus, who is mentioned by Phylarchus, in the fourth book of his History. And Democritus said—You always, O Ulpian, have got a habit of never taking anything that is set before you until you know whether the existing name of it was in use among the ancients. Accordingly you are running the risk, on account of all these inquiries of yours, (just like Philetas of Cos, who was always investigating all false arguments and erroneous uses of words,) of being starved to death, as he was. For he became very thin by reason of his devotion to these inquiries, and so died, as the inscription in front of his tomb shows—

Stranger, Philetas is my name, I lie
Slain by fallacious arguments, and cares
Protracted from the evening through the night.

65. And so that you may not waste away by investigating this word σύαγρος, learn that Antiphanes gives this name to the wild boar, in his Ravished Woman:—

This very night a wild boar (σύαγρον) will I seize,
And drag into this house, and a lion and a wolf.

And Dionysius the tyrant, in his Adonis, says—

Under the arched cavern of the nymphs
I consecrate . . . .
A wild boar (σύαγρον) as the first-fruits to the gods.

And Lynceus the Samian, in his epistle to Apollodorus, writes thus—"That you may have some goat's flesh for your children, and some meat of the wild boar (τὰ συάγρια) for yourself and your friends." And Hippolochus the Macedonian, whom we have mentioned before now, in his epistle to the above-named Lynceus, mentioned many wild boars (συάγρων). But, since you have turned off the question which was put to you about the colour of the Calydonian boar, and whether any one states him to have been white as to his flesh, we ourselves will tell you who has said so; and you yourself may investigate the proofs which I bring. For some time ago, I read the dithyrambics of Cleomenes of Rhegium; and this account is given in that ode of them which is entitled Meleager. And I am not ignorant that the inhabitants of Sicily call the wild boar (which we call σύαγρος) ἀσχέδωρος. And Æschylus, in his Phorcides, comparing Perseus to a wild boar, says—

He rush'd into the cave like a wild boar (ἀσχέδωρος ὥς).

And Sciras (and he is a poet of what is called the Italian comedy, and a native of Tarentum), in his Meleager, says—

Where shepherds never choose to feed their flocks,
Nor does the wild boar range and chase his mate.

And it is not wonderful that Æschylus, who lived for some time in Sicily, should use many Sicilian words.

66. There were also very often kids brought round by the servants, dressed in various ways; some of them with a great deal of assafoetida, which afforded us no ordinary pleasure; for the flesh of the goat is exceedingly nutritious. At all events, Clitomachus the Carthaginian, who is inferior to no one of the new Academy for his spirit of philosophical investigation, says that a certain Theban athlete surpassed all the men of his time in strength, because he ate goat's flesh; for the juice of that meat is nervous and sticky, and such as can remain a long time in the substance of the body. And this wrestler used to be much laughed at, because of the unpleasant smell of his perspiration. And all the meat of pigs and lambs, while it remains undigested in the system, is very apt to turn, because of the fat. But the banquets spoken of by the comic poets rather please the ears by sweet sounds, than the palate by sweet tastes; as, for instance, the feast mentioned by Antiphanes, in his Female Physician—

DINNERS.
A. But what meat do you eat with most delight?
B. What meat?—why if you mean as to its cheapness,
There's mutton ere it bears you wool or milk,
That is to say, there's lamb, my friend; and so
There's also meat of goats which give no milk,
That is to say, of kids. For so much profit
Is got from these when they are fully grown,
That I put up with eating cheaper kinds.

And in his Cyclops he says—

These are the animals which the earth produces,
Which you will have from me: the ox of th' herd,
The goat which roves the woods, the chamois which
Loves the high mountain tops, the fearless ram,
The hog, the boar, the sucking-pig besides,
And hares, and kids .  .  .  .
Green cheese, dry cheese, and cut and pounded cheese,
Scraped cheese, and chopp'd cheese, and congeal'd cheese

67. And Mnesimachus, in his Horse-breeder, provides the following things for dinner—

Come forth, O Manes, from the chamber
Deck'd with the lofty cypress roof;
Go to the market, to the statues
Of Maia's son, where all the chiefs
Of the tribes meet, and seek the troop
Of their most graceful pupils, whom
Phidon is teaching how to mount
Their horses, and dismount from them.
I need not tell you now their names.
Go; tell them that the fish is cold,
The wine is hot, the pastry dry,
The bread dry, too, and hard. The chops
Are burnt to pieces, and the meat
Taken from out the brine and dish'd.
The sausages are served up too;
So is the tripe, and rich black-puddings.
Those who're indoors are all at table,
The wine cups all are quickly drain'd,
The pledge goes round; and nought remains
But the lascivious drunken cordax.[34]
The young men all are waxing wanton,
And ev'rything's turn'd upside down.
Remember what I say, and bear
My words in mind.
Why stand you gaping like a fool?
Look here, and just repeat the message
Which I've just told you; do,—I will
Repeat it o'er again all through.
Bid them come now, and not delay,
Nor vex the cook who's ready for them.
For all the fish is long since boil'd,
And all the roast meat's long since cold.
And mention o'er each separate dish;—
Onions and olives, garlic too,
Cucumbers, cabbages, and broth,
Fig-leaves, and herbs, and tunny cutlets,
Glanis and rhinè, shark and conger,
A phyxicinus whole, a tunny,
A coracinus whole, a thunnis,
A small anchovy, and a tench,
A spindle-fish, a tail of dog-fish,
A carcharias and a torpedo;
A sea-frog, lizard, and a perch,
A trichias and a phycis too,
A brinchus, mullet, and sea-cuckoo.
A turtle, and besides a lamprey,
A phagrus, lebias, and grey mullet,
A sparus, and æolias,
A swallow, and the bird of Thrace,
A sprat, a squid, a turbot, and
Dracænides, and polypi,
A cuttle-fish, an orphus too;
A crab, likewise an escharus,
A needle-fish, a fine anchovy,
Some cestres, scorpions, eels, and loaves.
And loads of other meat, beyond
My calculation or my mention.
Dishes of goose, and pork, and beef,
And lamb, and mutton, goat and kid;
Of poultry, ducks and partridges,
And jays, and foxes. And what follows
Will be a downright sight to see,
So many good things there will be.
And all the slaves through all the house
Are busy baking, roasting, dressing,
And plucking, cutting, beating, boiling,
And laughing, playing, leaping, feasting,
And drinking, joking, scolding, pricking.
And lovely sounds from tuneful flutes,
And song and din go through the house,
Of instruments both wind and string'd.
Meantime a lovely scent of cassia,
From Syria's fertile land, does strike
Upon my sense, and frankincense,
And myrrh, and nard *   *   *
*              *              *              *              *
Such a confusion fills the house
With every sort of luxury.

COOKERY.

68. Now, after all this conversation, there was brought in the dish which is called Rhoduntia; concerning which that wise cook quoted numbers of tragedies before he would tell us what he was bringing us. And he laughed at those who professed to be such admirable cooks, mentioning whom, he said—Did that cook in the play of Anthippus, the comic poet, ever invent such a dish as this?—the cook, I mean, who, in the Veiled Man, boasted in this fashion:—

A. Sophon, an Ararnanian citizen,
And good Democritus of Rhodes, were long
Fellow-disciples in this noble art,
And Labdacus of Sicily was their tutor.
These men effaced all vulgar old recipes
Out of their cookery books, and took away
The mortar from the middle of the kitchen.
They brought into disuse all vinegar,
Cummin, and cheese, and assafoetida,
And coriander seed, and all the sauces
Which Saturn used to keep within his cruets.
And the cook who employ'd such means they thought
A humbug, a mere mountebank in his art.
They used oil only, and clean plates, O father,
And a quick fire, wanting little bellows:
With this they made each dinner elegant.
They were the first who banish'd tears and sneezing,
And spitting from the board; and purified
The manners of the guests. At last the Rhodian,
Drinking some pickle by mistake, did die;
For such a draught was foreign to his nature.
B. 'Twas likely so to be.
A. But Sophon still
Has all Ionia for his dominions,
And he, O father, was my only tutor.
And I now study philosophic rules,
Wishing to leave behind me followers,
And new discover'd rules to guide the art.
B. Ah! but, I fear, you'll want to cut me up,
And not the animal we think to sacrifice.
A. To-morrow you shall see me with my books,
Seeking fresh precepts for my noble art;
Nor do I differ from th' Aspendian.
And if you will, you too shall taste a specimen
Of this my skill. I do not always give
The self-same dishes to all kinds of guests;
But I regard their lives and habits all.
One dish I set before my friends in love,
Another's suited to philosophers,
Another to tax-gatherers. A youth
Who has a mistress, quickly will devour
His patrimonial inheritance;
So before him I place fat cuttle-fish
Of every sort; and dishes too of fish
Such as do haunt the rocks, all season'd highly
With every kind of clear transparent sauce.
For such a man cares nought about his dinner,
But all his thoughts are on his mistress fix'd.
Then to philosophers I serve up ham,
Or pettitoes; for all that crafty tribe
Are wonderful performers at the table.
Owls, eels, and spars I give the publicans,
When they're in season, but at other times
Some lentil salad. And all funeral feasts
I make more splendid than the living ones.
For old men's palates are not critical;
At least not half so much as those of youths.
And so I give them mustard, and I make them
Sauces of pungent nature, which may rouse
Their dormant sense, and make it snuff the air;
And when I once behold a face, I know
The dishes that its owner likes to eat.

69. And the cook in the Thesmophorus of Dionysius, my revellers, (for it is worth while to mention him also,) says—

You have said these things with great severity,
(And that's your usual kindness, by the Gods);
You've said a cook should always beforehand
Know who the guests may be for whom he now
Is dressing dinner. For he should regard
This single point—whom he has got to please
While seasoning his sauces properly;
And by this means he'll know the proper way
And time to lay his table and to dress
His meats and soups. But he who this neglects
Is not a cook, though he may be a seasoner.
But these are different arts, a wondrous space
Separates the two. It is not every one
That's called a general who commands an army,
But he who can with prompt and versatile skill
Avail himself of opportunities,
And look about him, changing quick his plans,
He is the general. He who can't do this
Is only in command. And so with us.
To roast some beef, to carve a joint with neatness,
To boil up sauces, and to blow the fire,
Is anybody's task; he who does this
Is but a seasoner and broth-maker:
A cook is quite another thing. His mind
Must comprehend all facts and circumstances:
Where is the place, and when the time of supper;
Who are the guests, and who the entertainer;
What fish he ought to buy, and when to buy it.
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  * For all these things
You'll have on almost every occasion;

COOKERY.
But they're not always of the same importance,
Nor do they always the same pleasure give.
Archestratus has written on this art,
And is by many people highly thought of,
As having given us a useful treatise;
But still there's much of which he's ignorant,
And all his rules are really good for nothing,
So do not mind or yield to all the rules
Which he has laid down most authoritatively,
For a more empty lot of maxims you
Will hardly find. For when you write a book
On cookery, it will not do to say,
"As I was just now saying;" for this art
Has no fix'd guide but opportunity,
And must itself its only mistress be.
But if your skill be ne'er so great, and yet
You let the opportunity escape,
Your art is lost, and might as well be none.
B. O man, you're wise. But as for this man who
You just now said was coming here to try
His hand at delicate banquets, say, does he
Forget to come?
A. If I but make you now
One forced meat ball, I can in that small thing
Give you a specimen of all my skill.
And I will serve you up a meal which shall
Be redolent of the Athenian breezes.
*              *              *              *              *
Dost fear that I shall fail to lull your soul
With dishes of sufficient luxury?

70. And to all this Æmilianus makes answer—

My friend, you've made a speech quite long enough
In praising your fav'rite art of cookery;—

as Hegesippus says in his Brethren. Do you then—

Give us now something new to see beyond
Your predecessor's art, or plague us not;
But show me what you've got, and tell its name.

And he rejoins—

You look down on me, since I am a cook.

But perhaps—

What I have made by practising my art—

according to the comic poet Demetrius, who, in his play entitled The Areopagite, has spoken as follows—

What I have made by practising my art
Is more than any actor e'er has gain'd,—
This smoky art of mine is quite a kingdom.
I was a caper-pickler with Seleucus,
And at the court of the Sicilian king,
Agathocles, I was the very first
To introduce the royal dish of lentils.
My chief exploit I have not mention'd yet:
There was a famine, and a man named Lachares
Was giving an entertainment to his friends;
Whom I recovered with some caper-sauce.

Lachares made Minerva naked, who caused him no inconvenience; but I will now strip you who are inconveniencing me, said Æmilianus, unless you show me what you have got with you. And he said at last, rather unwillingly, I call this dish the Dish of Roses. And it is prepared in such a way, that you may not only have the ornament of a garland on your head, but also in yourself, and so feast your whole body with a luxurious banquet. Having pounded a quantity of the most fragrant roses in a mortar, I put in the brains of birds and pigs boiled and thoroughly cleansed of all the sinews, and also the yolks of eggs, and with them oil, and pickle-juice, and pepper, and wine. And having pounded all these things carefully together, I put them into a new dish, applying a gentle and steady fire to them. And while saying this, he uncovered the dish, and diffused such a sweet perfume over the whole party, that one of the guests present said with great truth—

The winds perfumed the balmy gale convey
Through heav'n, through earth, and all the aërial way;

so excessive was the fragrance which was diffused from the roses.

71. After this, some roasted birds were brought round, and some lentils and peas, saucepans and all, and other things of the same kind, concerning which Phænias the Eresian writes thus, in his treatise on Plants—"For every leguminous cultivated plant bearing seed, is sown either for the sake of being boiled, such as the bean and the pea, (for a sort of boiled soup is made of these vegetables,) or else for the sake of extracting from them a farinaceous flour, as, for instance, the aracus; or else to be cooked like lentils, as the aphace and the common lentil; and some again are sown in order to serve as food for fourfooted animals, as, for instance, the vetch for cattle, and the aphace for sheep. But the vegetable called the pea is mentioned by Eupolis, in his Golden Age." And Heliodorus, who wrote a description of the whole world, in the first book of his treatise on the Acropolis, said—"After the manner in which to boil wheat was discovered, the ancients called it πύανον, but the people of the present day name it ὁλόπυρον."

CHAMÆLEON.

Now, after this discussion had continued a long time, Democritus said—But at least allow us to have a share of these lentils, or of the saucepan itself, lest some of you get pelted with stones, like Hegemon the Thasian. And Ulpian said,—What is the meaning of this pelting (βαλλητὺς) with stones? for I know that in my native city, Eleusis, there is a festival celebrated which is called βαλλητὺς, concerning which I will not say a word, unless I get a reward from each of you. But I, said Democritus, as I am not a person who makes speeches by the hour for hire, like the Prodeipnus of Timon, will tell you all I know about Hegemon.

72. Chamæleon of Pontus, in the sixth book of his treatise concerning ancient Comedy, says—"Hegemon of Thasos, the man who wrote the Parodies, was nicknamed The Lentil, and in one of his parodies he wrote—

While I revolved these counsels in my mind,
Pallas Minerva, with her golden sceptre,
Stood by my head, and touched me, and thus spake—
O thou ill-treated Lentil, wretched man,
Go to the contest: and I then took courage.

And once he came into the theatre, exhibiting a comedy, having his robe full of stones; and he, throwing the stones into the orchestra, caused the spectators to wonder what he meant. And presently afterwards he said—

These now are stones, and let who chooses throw them;
But Lentil's good alike at every season.

But the man has an exceedingly high reputation for his parodies, and was exceedingly celebrated for reciting his verses with great skill and dramatic power; and on this account he was greatly admired by the Athenians. And in his Battle of the Giants, he so greatly delighted the Athenians, that they laughed to excess on that day; and though on that very day the news of all the disasters which had befallen them in Sicily had just arrived, still no one left the theatre, although nearly every one had lost relations by that calamity; and so they hid their faces and wept, but no one rose to depart, in order to avoid being seen by the spectators from other cities to be grieved at the disaster. But they remained listening to the performance, and that too, though Hegemon himself, when he heard of it, had resolved to cease his recitation. But when the Athenians, being masters of the sea, brought all the actions at law concerning the islands or the islanders into the city, some one instituted a prosecution against Hegemon, and summoned him to Athens to answer it. And he came in court, and brought with him all the workmen of the theatre, and with them he appeared, entreating Alcibiades to assist him. And Alcibiades bade him be of good cheer, and ordered all the workmen to follow him; and so he came to the temple of Cybele, where the trials of prosecutions were held; and then wetting his finger with his mouth, he wiped out the indictment against Hegemon. And though the clerk of the court and the magistrate were indignant at this, they kept quiet for fear of Alcibiades, for which reason also the man who had instituted the prosecution ran away."

73. This, O Ulpian, is what we mean by pelting (βαλλητὺς), but you, when you please, may tell us about the βαλλητὺς at Eleusis. And Ulpian replied,—But you have reminded me, my good friend Democritus, by your mention of saucepans, that I have often wished to know what that is which is called the saucepan of Telemachus, and who Telemachus was. And Democritus said,—Timocles the comic poet, and he was also a writer of tragedy, in his drama called Lethe, says—