THE agony I was in at your departure, and the many strong cryings and tears which I offered up to God afterwards, plainly shew, that I love you in sincerity and truth. Though I am now about to launch into the great deep, yet I must write you a parting line. I cannot but think you will come to Christ in earnest. God has most remarkably met you by his providence.—His spirit has been striving with you, and I doubt not but it will get the victory over your carnal reasonings, and the rebellion of a depraved heart. But do not, my dear brother, I beseech you, dispute against your own happiness.—Be not unwilling to confess that you are not yet a christian. Remember what our Lord hath said: “Whosoever receiveth not the kingdom of God, as a little child, shall in no-wise enter therein.”—I beseech you, by the mercies of God in Christ Jesus our Lord, to leave off disputing. You have been, I think, frequently convinced; but nature, I find, has as frequently interposed, and persuaded you that you had gone far enough already.—But does not my dear brother find, that he yet lacks something? Have not his tempers and corruptions; nay, hath not sin itself dominion over him? Are his affections weaned from the world? Does he feel himself a poor lost sinner? Is he willing the Lord Jesus should be his whole righteousness? Is he convinced of the freeness, as well as of the riches of his grace? You see, my dear brother, how freely I deal with you. It is because I love you with a peculiar love.—Never did my heart exult at the sight of any relation, as at the sight of you; Surely God intends to give me my dear brother. He is already an almost; hasten, O Lord, that blessed time, when he shall be an altogether christian, and let thy kingdom, with full power, come into my dear brother’s heart!—How shall I say farewell? If you have opportunity, pray write to

I Thank God for his goodness to brother Howell Harris. I thank you for informing me of it. The storm is diverted for a while, but I expect it to break upon my head one time or another. God has, for a while, prepared me a place of refuge in the ship, from whence I write this. Oh beseech him, that I may improve the retirement by searching out my spirit. I have almost forgot, that I was in the world. My family on board is quite settled, and we live and love like christians. God only knows where you and I shall meet again; whether in time or eternity. However, this we know, that both must be tried to the uttermost. Inward and outward afflictions await us, and all the children of God. I am now reading the book of martyrs. They make me blush to think how little I suffer for Christ’s sake. They warm my heart, and make me think the time long till I am called to resist even unto blood: But I fear the treachery of this heart of mine. Dear Mr. ——, to your past, add one more favour, “pray that I may be found faithful.” I trust I shall have a sweet remembrance of you and my other dear friends, when I go in and out before the Lord. Salute them most affectionately. Exhort them, oh exhort them to continue in the grace of God; and forget not to write to, dear Mr. ——,

Philadelphia, Nov. 10, 1739.¹

Reverend and dear Sir,

THOUGH business prevents my corresponding with you so frequently as I did when in England, yet what can hinder me now, but a want of gratitude and love? Accept then, dear Sir, my sincere, though late thanks, for all favours conferred upon me, and assure yourself, I remember both you and your beloved people at the throne of grace. Nothing will rejoice me more than to hear, that the good pleasure of the Lord prospers in your hand. Oh dear Sir, what a gracious Master do we serve! His loving-kindness still prevents, accompanies, and follows me. He has not given me over unto death, but is still pleased to dig and dung round me, and not cut me down as a cumberer of the ground. I long to be purged, dear Sir, that I may bring forth more fruit. Since my retirement from the world, I have seen more and more how full I am of corruption. Nothing could possibly support my soul under the many agonies which oppressed me, when on board, but a consideration of the freeness, eternity, and unchangeableness of God’s love to me, the chief of sinners.—In about a twelvemonth, probably, I shall return again to my native country. Satan no doubt will endeavour to stir up all his forces against me. By the help of my God, I will once more come forth with my sling and my stone.—I shall wait with impatience to hear how the work goes on in my absence. I trust, God, by this time, has sent forth more labourers into his harvest. I heartily wish all the Lord’s servants were prophets. I verily believe, the right-hand of the Lord will not only have the pre-eminence, but also bring mighty things to pass. O how do I long, dear Sir, to see bigotry and party-zeal taken away, and all the Lord’s servants more knit together. Pray, my due respects to all that are so kind as to enquire after me. Exhort them to pray and give thanks for,

¹ Many of the letters of this date were written on ship-board during the passage, but dated when sent off from Philadelphia.

LETTER LXIX.

Philadelphia, Nov. 10, 1739.

Reverend and dear Sir,

MAN appoints, but God disappoints. No doubt it was best, that I should not see your answer to the bishop’s letter before I left England. I hope it was wrote with the meekness and gentleness of Christ, and then no doubt God will give his blessing. Oh, dear Sir, how is the glory departed from Israel! In what dregs of time are we born? Boasting of our orthodoxy and primitive purity, and yet alas! but —— is not this enough, dear Sir, to excite our zeal even till it do eat us up? Wherefore hath God called us by his free grace, and made a difference between us and others, but that we should stand up in defence of his injured honour? Your friend, Mr. ——, has told me how plentifully you once tasted of the good word of life, and felt the powers of the world to come. Oh that the divine spark may again kindle in the heart till it become a flame of fire! Nothing will so much enforce your arguments as a life exactly conformable to the holy Jesus.—When with you last, I thought you spoke too favourable of horse-races, and such things. But what diversion ought a christian or a clergyman to know or speak of, but that of doing good? Many who are right in their principles, are worse than I could wish in their practice. Oh for a revival of true and undefiled religion in all sects whatsoever! I long to see a catholic spirit over-spread the world; may God vouchsafe to make me an instrument of promoting it! Methinks, I care not what I do or suffer, so that I may see my Lord’s kingdom come with power. But I know not my own weakness, till I am tried. Dear Sir, pray for me, that I may be found faithful in an hour of temptation. I expect to be tried to the uttermost, and to hear, that many are become my enemies, who once would, as it were, have plucked out their eyes for me. It is necessary that such offences should come; otherwise, how can I know that I am, what I desire to be, dear Sir,

THOUGH I know none of you in person, yet, from the time I heard of your faith and love towards our dear Lord Jesus, I have been acquainted with you in spirit, and have constantly mentioned you in my poor prayers. The good pleasure of the Lord, I find, prospers in your hands; and I pray God increase you more and more, both you and your children. Scotland, like England, hath been so much settled upon it’s lees for some time, that I fear our late days may properly be called the midnight of the church. Blessed be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath sent forth many of his servants with this cry, “Behold the bridegroom cometh.” Thousands obey the call, and are trimming their spiritual lamps, in order to go forth to meet him. I cannot but think a winnowing time will come after this in-gathering of souls. O that we may suffer only as christians, and then the spirit of Christ and of glory will rest upon us. In patience possess your souls, and I will leave my cause to God. You, my reverend Brethren, I am persuaded, are no otherwise minded; may we go on then in the power, and under the guidance of the Lord of Hosts. The eternal God will be your perpetual refuge. He that employs, will protect; as your day is, so shall your strength be. Let not our dear Lord’s lambs perish for lack of knowledge. “Give ye, give ye them to eat,” methinks, is the endearing, constraining command of the great Shepherd and Bishop of souls. And O that a due obedience may be paid to it by me, your unworthy brother. But I blush almost, when I stile myself your brother; for I am a child, and all of you are fathers. Oh, strive together with me in your prayers, that the divine strength may be still magnified in my weakness. You will intreat the Lord to bless the orphan-house. I have reason to think, God will bring great good out of it. Oh that I may be prepared for future favours! Oh that pride and self-love may thoroughly be subdued! Brethren, I beseech you by the mercies of God in Christ Jesus, to pray for me, whilst winds and storms are blowing over me. You are not forgotten by him, who, though the most unworthy of his Lord’s servants, desires to subscribe himself,

BECAUSE I will not forget you, I begin to write before we get on shore. How is dear Mr. ——’s heart? Has he yet recovered his first love? And is that prophecy, “This child is set for the falling and rising again of many in Israel,” as yet fulfilled in him. I cannot but think a good work was once wrought upon your soul. I cannot but think, God will yet fulfil his whole will in you. But let not my dear friend linger any longer. If there is mercy with God, let him be feared, not disobeyed. If he has promised to heal our backslidings, and love us freely, let his goodness lead us to repentance. Prosperity hath been a snare to you; every day I see the excellency of that part of Agur’s, prayer, “Give me not riches, lest I be full and deny thee, and say, who is the Lord.” And that petition in our liturgy, “In all time of our wealth, good Lord deliver us.” I always take particular notice of it. I believe you will not be at all richer this year, than you was the last.—For as riches increase, our wants increase with them.—I write not this to have you desert your station, but to excite a holy jealousy in your heart.—Oh, what would I give to see my dear friend, as formerly, “Fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.” If God sends me to England again, I shall try my friends. However that be, I am persuaded, that suffering for righteousness sake, is the best, the greatest preferment in the church of Christ. But how does your little—I would not willingly say, your great idol. Pray accept a quarto bible for him. Oh, my friend, give him up to God, and do not provoke him, by over-fondness and too great indulgence, to take him from you. The little lambs on board improve bravely; they bear the voyage best of all. They are as lusty as eagles: God has dealt most gently with us. I hope I may say, the church in my house salute you and your wife.—I do not forget her; may she never rest till she comes into the glorious liberty of the children of God! It is a blessed thing, my dear friend, to be the Lord’s freeman. My heart is full; I repent I have not allowed more paper. My dear Sir, excuse and pray for

WANT of time, not want of respect, has prevented my answering your kind letters. I esteem you highly for Christ’s sake. I believe you to be one whom God has chosen out of the world, and hath sealed to the day of redemption. Nothing, therefore, shall pluck you out of his hands. Was it not for this promise, my soul would be exceeding sorrowful at the prospect of what I may undergo. The innumerable temptations that attend a popular life, sometimes make me think it would be best for me to withdraw. But then I consider, that He, who delivered Daniel out of the den of lions, and the three children out of the fiery furnace, is able and willing to deliver me also out of the fiery furnace of popularity and applause, and from the fury of those, who, for preaching Christ, and him crucified, are my inveterate enemies. In his strength therefore, and at his command, whenever his providence shall call, I will venture out again. As yet my trials have been nothing. Hereafter a winnowing time may come; then we shall see, who is on the Lord’s side, and who dare to confess Christ before men. None but those who wholly rely on the Redeemer’s righteousness, and are truly born again of God. Oh pray, that I may be found faithful. Satan hath been very busy with me since I saw you, but I trust the Lord, by these inward trials, will purge me, that I may bring forth more fruit. Cease not to pray, that this may be the happy case of,

I Should think myself highly ungrateful, did I not take all opportunities of acknowledging the many kindnesses I have received at your hands. Your last presents have been exceeding serviceable on board the ship, and every time we have tasted your bounty, I have endeavoured to dart up a short ejaculation for our kind benefactress. You cannot conceive, dear Madam, how loving the Lord has dealt with us; he has given us all things richly to enjoy, and comforted us on every side. Indeed sometimes he has been pleased to withdraw from me, and to permit satan to send me a thorn in the flesh.—But that was only to shew me my vileness, and to prepare me for further manifestations of his goodness to my soul. Our voyage though long has not been tedious or burdensome. My soul wants retirement.—I dread coming out into the world again. I am confident, dear Madam, that you will pray for me, that I may be kept unspotted from it. Oh what a blessed Master do we serve! His rod as well as staff comforts the soul. His corrections are all loving, and are only intended to make us truly great. Though you seemed to doubt, yet I hope to see you once more before you go hence. I cannot say I expect liberty long, if I speak boldly the truth as I ought to speak.—Indeed there is no being a true christian, and yet holding with the world, so much as some may imagine. Jesus Christ calls us to simplicity. I have often thought, dear Madam, that you did not see through the world enough. Numbers are accounted christians, who have only a name to live. I pray God to open all our eyes, that we may see every thing clearly. A time of persecution will show who are Israelites indeed, and who outside professors.—I hope, Madam, that, when tried, you will come forth as gold purified seven times in the fire. I only fear for, and suspect myself.—The Lord my righteousness will uphold me. Dear Madam, God only knows with what gratitude I desire to subscribe myself

WHEN last abroad, I could not write to you for want of knowing your name. Blessed be God we have since been better acquainted, and I now know your name and place of abode. May the God, whom I desire to serve, richly reward you for receiving me into your house. You were one of my most constant hearers; may you be my joy and crown of rejoicing in the day of the Lord Jesus. I trust ere now, you have felt, that the kingdom of God does not consist in word, but in power. I know that Mrs. —— would have me deal plainly with her soul; therefore I shall not scruple to tell her, how I have sometimes thought she was not yet clearly enough convinced of sin, and of the perfect righteousness wrought out for, and to be imputed to her, by the Lord Jesus Christ, through faith in his blood.—Since I have been on shipboard, blessed be God, his name has made my soul to smart, and caused me to see more of my own wretchedness. Oh, Mrs. ——, you know not, neither do I myself know as yet, what a mystery of iniquity is hid even in a heart timely renewed. I saw a little of it the other day; and had I not known my Redeemer liveth, and that he ever liveth to make intercession for me, I must have sunk into despair:

AS I do not forget to pray for, so I do not forget to write to you, to make a proper acknowledgment of your and your husband’s love; exhorting you to save yourselves from this untoward generation. Before I left London, I perceived God was working upon your soul. I trust the same God, since my departure, has carried it on, and that you are convinced of the sin of unbelief. Oh dear Mrs. ——, it is a difficult thing to believe aright; it can only be given from above. I know many of my acquaintance, who love to hear me talk and preach, and who receive me gladly into their houses; but alas! I fear they are self-righteous, and were never yet truly convinced of sin. They have good desires, and therefore flatter themselves, that they are good christians: But I fear many of them are only foolish virgins. I would not have dear Mrs. —— or her husband of this number. If she hath followed on to know the Lord, I am persuaded ere now, she is in some measure brought out of herself, and taught of God to rely only on Jesus Christ for wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. If thus minded, your soul is at peace with God, itself, and the world. If not, let her ask and it shall be given her, let her seek and she shall find, let her knock and a door of mercy shall be opened unto her.—All things are possible to him that believeth—Oh dear Mrs. ——, my heart is inlarged towards you; I long for your salvation: press on and faint not. Whenever I come, I shall expect to suffer. But though we die for Christ, oh let us pray that we may not deny him in any wise. Nothing but the free almighty grace of God can uphold,

I Think I may say of you, as the Samaritans did upon another occasion, I believe you to be a true lover of our dear Lord Jesus. Not merely because my brother told me so, but because I have it under his own hand. Your last kind letter has knit my heart most closely to you. I love those that thunder out the word. The christian world is in a deep sleep. Nothing but a loud voice can awaken them out of it. I pray God to strengthen you more and more, and cause you to triumph in every place. Though absent in body, I am present with you in spirit. It would rejoice me to hear of your success in the Lord. In about a twelvemonth I purpose, God willing, to return to England; who knows but then I may see you face to face, and have some spiritual gift imparted to my soul? I long to die to myself, and to be alive unto God. Methinks I would be always upon the wing; but alas! I have a body of sin, which at times makes me cry out, “who shall deliver me?” I thank God, our Lord Jesus Christ will deliver. But I never expect intire freedom, till I bow down my head, and give up the ghost. Every fresh employ, I find brings with it fresh temptations. God always humbles before he exalts me. Sometimes I speak and write freely, at other times I am comparatively barren; one while on the mount, another while overshadowed with a cloud; but blessed be God, at all times at peace with him, and assured that my sins are forgiven. I want to leap my seventy years; I long to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. But I must be made perfect by sufferings. I expect no other preferment. And you no doubt will have your share. This is our comfort, if we suffer we shall also reign with Christ; hasten on, O Lord, that blessed time, when dear Mr. —— shall sit down at thy right hand, with all the spirits of just men made perfect in heaven! where I trust a seat, though of the lowest class, is prepared for

SINCE I saw you last, you cannot well tell with what pleasure I have reflected on the uncommon power that frequently attended the word at Bexley. It was to me a sign of God’s good will, both to ministers and people. The former I was convinced of, before I left England. The last sermon I heard you preach, gave me much satisfaction. I hope ere now you are convinced of the latter also, and have seen some good effects amongst your parishioners. However, this I am assured of, we shall all in due time reap the fruit of our labours, if we faint not. Let me therefore exhort you, by the mercies of God in Christ Jesus, to continue unwearied in well doing. You have seen the afflictions of God’s spiritual Israel. “Do and live,” is most they hear. But what is this, but requiring them to make bricks without straw? Arise, arise, then, my dear Mr. ——; proclaim the Lord to be their righteousness. The everlasting I AM now sends you forth: say not they will disbelieve my report, for God seems to have given his people the hearing ear and obedient heart. Fear not the face of man, for the Lord, if you go out in his strength, shall be with you, whithersoever you go. I hope my dear and honoured friend ere now hath prevented my exhortations. Methinks I see him, with all boldness declaring the whole counsel of God, and the attentive people receiving joyfully the gracious words, which proceed out of his mouth. Go on, my dear brother, go on; may the Lord bless you more and more, daily adding to the number of your spiritual children. —— I thank you, from my soul, for all favours conferred on me, and I pray you may always confess our Lord and his disciples before men. My most sincere respects attend your help-mate and true yoke-fellow. You are constantly upon my heart. My next journal will acquaint you how lovingly God hath dealt with

AND how does my dear Mr. H——s? Is he yet commenced a field preacher? I am persuaded my dear friend is under the guidance of God’s spirit, and therefore am convinced he will be directed for the best. He desires to do his Lord’s will, and shall he not know it? Undoubtedly he shall. Nay, ere now I trust God has pointed out his way, and he has been upon many a mount stretching out his hands, and inviting all that are weary and heavy laden to come to Jesus Christ. Oh my dear brother, though you come after me, yet I pray God, you may always be preferred before me. I trust I shall not envy, but rejoice in my brother’s success. At present, I find I love him in the bowels of Jesus Christ; I am frequently with you in spirit, and shall wait with impatience till I hear of my dear brother’s progress in the Lord. Alas! I fear I do not improve my retirement as I ought. God has graciously pleased to conduct me in mercy. The tempter has been busy with me, and I never before was more deeply wounded for sin. Christ’s love will let nothing pluck us out of his hands. However, let us constantly watch and pray, that we enter not into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. In about a twelvemonth, God willing, I think of returning to England. I should rejoice, if you would come and supply my place at Savannah. If not, I must resign the parsonage, and take upon me only the care of the orphans. I intend bringing up two or three, that are with me, for the ministry: more, no doubt, will shortly be added to their number. If you could come and teach them the languages, for an hour or two in the day; we could serve both the orphan-house and parsonage together. Great things I trust will come out of Georgia. The Lord Jesus direct your spirit, and if it be his will, send you as a help to, dear Sir,

THOUGH but little acquainted with you, yet I write this to assure you, what a cordial respect I have for you. The love of God, which I trust, through his free grace, is shed abroad in both our hearts, constrains me to love you in the bowels of Jesus Christ. I remember you in my unworthy prayers, and am persuaded I am not forgotten in your’s. No one more needs them, whether considered as a private christian, or a public minister; thousands are waiting for my halting; and I know so much of the corruption of my own heart, that was God to leave me to myself but one moment, I should with oaths and curses deny my master. As for my final perseverance, I bless God, I have not the least doubt thereof. The gifts and callings of God are without repentance. Whom he loves, I am persuaded, he loves to the end. But then I fear, lest being puffed up with abundance of success, I should provoke the Lord to let me fall into some heinous sin, and thereby give his adversaries reason to rejoice. A public life is attended with innumerable snares; and a sense of my unworthiness and unfitness so weighs me down, that I have often thought it would be best for me to retire. But I know these are all suggestions of the enemy. Why should I distrust omnipotence? Having had a legion of devils cast out of my heart by the power of Christ, why should I not tell what he hath done for my soul, for the encouragement of others. By the help of God, I will speak; and the more satan bids me to hold my peace, the more earnestly will I proclaim to believing saints, that Jesus the son of David will have mercy on them; nay, I do not despair of publishing these glad tidings even at Wethersfield. In a little above a twelvemonth, God willing, I intend returning. But ere that time comes, I trust my dear Lord will purge me, that I may bring forth more fruit.—Satan has not been wanting to sift me as wheat; but my friend, the friend of all, even Jesus, has prayed for me, and as yet my faith hath not failed. Oh had I a thousand lives, my dear Lord Jesus should have them all! For he is worthy, he hath plucked me as a brand out of the burning, and is continually comforting me on every side—Read, read, dear Sir, the account I have sent over to be published of what God hath done for me in the days of my youth, and it will afford more thanksgiving and praise.—Pray in the behalf of, Sir,

I Love you in the bowels of Jesus Christ, as a proof of it, I send this. I heartily wish I could correspond with you oftener. Your advice would always be seasonable to me; because you have been a long time in the school of Christ. I am but just now entering the list, and frequently tremble at the consideration of what I am to do and suffer.—But when I consider it is for Jesus Christ, who has called me by his free grace into his marvellous light, and has promised to be with us always, even unto the end of the world, a divine fire kindles in my heart, and I long to call the lingring battle on. Satan hath been busy with me since I saw you, especially since my retirement on ship-board. I have often thought of the folly of those, who go out of the world to avoid temptation. Satan now buffets me more than when confined in a ship. I receive this as a great mercy at the hands of the Lord to keep me in action, and to prepare me for greater tokens of his love. Before I am exalted, I am always humbled by some inward trials. They are the most soul-grieving, but they are the most soul-improving conflicts. My dear friend, I can say from my heart, “I am the chief of sinners:” I feel myself so wretched and miserable, so blind and naked in myself, that satan would tempt me to write to no one. But the Lord hath rebuked him, and after a long tedious hour of temptation, fills my soul as it were with marrow and fatness, and maketh my pen the pen of a ready writer. Oh that my mouth was filled with his praise! As yet, blessed be God, in my darkest hours my evidences have not been in the least clouded. I have been assured my Lord hath forgiven all my iniquities, transgressions and sins, but I cannot forgive myself. Oh that I should ever offend against such dying love! Pray for me, my dear brother, pray for me, that I may never by pride or sloth tempt the blessed spirit to depart from me. I fear not falling finally; for God I believe chose me in Christ before ever the earth and the world were made, as a vessel of his saving mercy; but I fear I shall provoke him to let me fall foully, and then how will the Philistines rejoice? This consideration sometimes makes me to wish that the Lord would cut off my strength in my journey, and shorten my days. But wherefore do I fear? Ah me of little faith! You see, my dear friend, how freely I have unbosomed my heart to you. I cannot call you my friend, and yet hide from you God’s dealings with my soul. Salute all that love our Lord Jesus in sincerity, and beseech them to pray for your sincere friend, but the most unprofitable of his dear Lord’s servants,