A Woman’s Vengeance.

I thank[1292] you for your sympathy,
But help! No,[1293] there is none for me.
For what I’ve done I feel no sting
Of penitence, nor can time bring
One pang of sorrow. You may think
Me hard, unfeeling, and may shrink[1294]
From me with loathing when I say,
I’m glad my bullet found the way
Into his heart; and I would do
The same again, and glory,[1295] too,
In having done it. Penalty!
For what they now may do with me
I care but little.[1296] He is dead,
And that ends all.
What made me do the deed? The old,
Old[1297] time-worn story of man’s cold
And heartless cruelty; of wrongs
Heaped on her head,[1298] to whom belongs
At least respect,[1299] if nothing more.
I met him—him, my husband—just
Five years ago. My God! what trust
I placed in his fair words, so soft,
So sweet, so full of love. But love is blind,
And I was madly so. The first two years
Were full[1300] of joy—joy without tears.
My life was of peaceful love.
But, ah! the change came sudden, fast;
My summer sun was overcast.[1301]
The godlike being that I thought
Of all mankind[1302] most perfect wrought,
Tore off[1303] the mask that hid his face,
And, to my horror,[1304] in his place
Revealed a demon,[1305] blackest-hued,
Remorseless, pitiless, imbued
With all the wickedness that heart
Can hold, or shameless sin[1306] impart
The loving words to curses[1307] turned;
My fond advances all were spurned.[1308]
I soon became for him a thing
To tread upon—a clod to fling[1309]
From out his path. I took my child
And fled[1310] one night, half maddened, wild,
Far from his sight—I cared not where
So I again his face might ne’er
Behold. But soon once more with words
That seemed to me like songs of birds[1311]
He sought me out, and with eyes
Filled with repentant tears, implored
Forgiveness; and I—fool![1312] ignored[1313]
The past, forgot my woes, and went
Back to his home with heart content.
O Heaven![1314] could I have but foreseen,
Could I have known he did not mean
To keep the vows so freely made!
Once more his promises were cast
Aside,[1315] as idle words, and worse
Than e’en before—a daily curse[1316]
My life became.
Then came at last the final blow—
The worst that love can contemplate,
And which can turn that love to hate.[1317]
One night, when he had gone from me,
I found a letter which he carelessly
Had overlooked. The script[1318] was small
And neat—a woman’s hand! A wall
Of fire outstretched[1319] before my eyes;
A nameless horror seemed to rise.
No, no! this could not be. He might
Be bad, be dead to sense of right,
But false! O Heaven![1320] The dreadful thought
Surged in my brain.[1321] I crushed[1322] it, fought[1323]
It down with frenzied eagerness.
The note was open; chilled, nerveless,
I drew it[1324] from its fold and read,
[1325]“This night to meet him,” so it said.
This night! how throbbed[1326] my aching head!
Her house it gave—the place, the hour—
I seemed renewed with sudden power.
He[1327] would be there, and so would I.[1328]
I cast[1329] the hated letter by;
My child from off the floor I clasped,
And from the bureau drawer I grasped
A loaded pistol that would right
My wrong. So out[1330] into the night,
Into the raging storm, I fled,
My babe clasped[1331] in my arms.
I could but repeat,
“False! false! I’ll be revenged!”[1332] My soul
Now stirred and roused beyond control,
Was filled with one desire alone,
And that was that he should atone[1333]
For this—to woman—foulest[1334] wrong.
So through the night I sped along
Until I reached her house.
And then I heard[1335]
A voice within—his voice! Each word
In sweet and loving tenderness,
And accents that my[1336] heart should bless
Were lavished on her[1337] listening ears.
I listened, listened,[1338] all unseen,
Until I thought I should go wild.[1339]
Then, with a desperate hand, flung wide[1340]
The casement. With a bound, beside
The two[1341] I stood. She started—screamed;
He turned[1342] and saw me, and then seemed
A moment as if turned to stone;
And as his baseness I made known,
She—poor thing—with a long, low cry,
Sank[1343] to the floor despairingly.
Then, like a fiend let loose from hell,
He toward[1344] me leaped with one fierce yell,
And grasping[1345] quick a heavy chair
Cried, “Curse you!” whirled it high[1346] in air.
I sprang aside[1347] in sudden dread;
The blow fell full upon the head
Of my sweet child, that lifeless dropped
Back in my arms. My heart throbs[1348] stopped;
A red mist swam[1349] before my sight;
I could not scream, try as I might.
I grasped the pistol[1350] from my breast,
And then I killed[1351] him! All the rest
For days to me was blank;[1352] and when—
O Heaven! why did I not die then?
At last my sense came back. I would
Have taken my own life if I could.
But it perhaps was better[1353] so;
God will not judge me hard, I know.
And when, in answer to His call,
I stand within the heavenly hall,[1354]
And the Blessed One
Says, “Why hast thou transgressed my laws?”
My babe shall plead its mother’s[1355] cause.
—Thomas F. Wilford.

Gestures.