Lætitia
, and
charmed with repeated Instances of good Humour he had observed in
Daphne
, he one Day told the latter, that he had something to say
to her he hoped she would be pleased with. —
Faith Daphne,
continued he,
I am in Love with thee, and despise thy Sister
sincerely
. The Manner of his declaring himself gave his Mistress
occasion for a very hearty Laughter. —
Nay,
says he,
I knew you
would Laugh at me, but I'll ask your Father.
He did so; the Father
received his Intelligence with no less Joy than Surprize, and was very
glad he had now no Care left but for his
Beauty
, which he thought
he could carry to Market at his Leisure. I do not know any thing that
has pleased me so much a great while, as this Conquest of my Friend
Daphne's
. All her Acquaintance congratulate her upon her Chance.
Medley, and laugh at that premeditating Murderer her Sister. As it is an
Argument of a light Mind, to think the worse of our selves for the
Imperfections of our Persons, it is equally below us to value our selves
upon the Advantages of them. The Female World seem to be almost
incorrigibly gone astray in this Particular; for which Reason, I shall
recommend the following Extract out of a Friend's Letter to the
Profess'd Beauties, who are a People almost as unsufferable as the
Profess'd Wits.
Monsieur St.
Evremont1 has concluded one of his Essays, with
affirming that the last Sighs of a Handsome Woman are not so much for
the loss of her Life, as of her Beauty. Perhaps this Raillery is pursued
too far, yet it is turn'd upon a very obvious Remark, that Woman's
strongest Passion is for her own Beauty, and that she values it as her
Favourite Distinction. From hence it is that all Arts, which pretend to
improve or preserve it, meet with so general a Reception among the Sex.
To say nothing of many False Helps and Contraband Wares of Beauty, which
are daily vended in this great Mart, there is not a Maiden-Gentlewoman,
of a good Family in any County of
South-Britain, who has not
heard of the Virtues of
May-Dew, or is unfurnished with some
Receipt or other in Favour of her Complexion; and I have known a
Physician of Learning and Sense, after Eight Years Study in the
University, and a Course of Travels into most Countries of
Europe, owe the first raising of his Fortunes to a Cosmetick
Wash.
This has given me Occasion to consider how so Universal a Disposition in
Womankind, which springs from a laudable Motive, the Desire of Pleasing,
and proceeds upon an Opinion, not altogether groundless, that Nature may
be helped by Art, may be turn'd to their Advantage. And, methinks, it
would be an acceptable Service to take them out of the Hands of Quacks
and Pretenders, and to prevent their imposing upon themselves, by
discovering to them the true Secret and Art of improving Beauty.
In order to this, before I touch upon it directly, it will be necessary
to lay down a few Preliminary Maxims,
viz.
- That no Woman can be Handsome by the Force of Features alone, any more
than she can be Witty only by the Help of Speech.
- That Pride destroys all Symmetry and Grace, and Affectation is a more
terrible Enemy to fine Faces than the Small-Pox.
- That no Woman is capable of being Beautiful, who is not incapable of
being False.
- And, That what would be Odious in a Friend, is Deformity in a Mistress.
From these few Principles, thus laid down, it will be easie to prove,
that the true Art of assisting Beauty consists in Embellishing the whole
Person by the proper Ornaments of virtuous and commendable Qualities.
By
this Help alone it is that those who are the Favourite Work of Nature,
or, as Mr.
Dryden expresses it, the Porcelain Clay of human
Kind
2, become animated, and are in a Capacity of exerting their
Charms: And those who seem to have been neglected by her, like Models
wrought in haste, are capable, in a great measure, of finishing what She
has left imperfect.
It is, methinks, a low and degrading Idea of that Sex, which was created
to refine the Joys, and soften the Cares of Humanity, by the most
agreeable Participation, to consider them meerly as Objects of Sight.
This is abridging them of their natural Extent of Power, to put them
upon a Level with their Pictures at
Kneller's. How much nobler is
the Contemplation of Beauty heighten'd by Virtue, and commanding our
Esteem and Love, while it draws our Observation? How faint and
spiritless are the Charms of a Coquet, when compar'd with the real
Loveliness of
Sophronia's Innocence, Piety, good Humour and
Truth; Virtues which add a new Softness to her Sex, and even beautify
her Beauty! That Agreeableness, which must otherwise have appeared no
longer in the modest Virgin, is now preserv'd in the tender Mother, the
prudent Friend, and the faithful Wife. Colours, artfully spread upon
Canvas, may entertain the Eye, but not affect the Heart; and she, who
takes no care to add to the natural Graces of her Person any excelling
Qualities, may be allowed still to amuse, as a Picture, but not to
triumph as a Beauty.
When
Adam is introduced by
Milton describing
Eve in
Paradise, and relating to the Angel the Impressions he felt upon seeing
her at her first Creation, he does not represent her like a
Grecian
Venus by her Shape or Features, but by the Lustre of her Mind which
shone in them, and gave them their Power of charming.
Grace was in all her Steps, Heaven in her Eye,
In all her Gestures Dignity and Love.
Without this irradiating Power the proudest Fair One ought to know,
whatever her Glass may tell her to the contrary, that her most perfect
Features are Uninform'd and Dead.
I cannot better close this Moral, than by a short Epitaph written by
Ben Johnson, with a Spirit which nothing could inspire but such
an Object as I have been describing.
Underneath this Stone doth lie
As much Virtue as cou'd die,
Which when alive did Vigour give
To as much Beauty as cou'd live
3.
I am, Sir,
Your most humble Servant,
R. B.
R.
Charles de St. Denis, Sieur de St. Evremond, died in 1703,
aged 95, and was buried in Westminster Abbey. His military and
diplomatic career in France was closed in 1661, when his condemnations
of Mazarin, although the Cardinal was then dead, obliged him to fly from
the wrath of the French Court to Holland and afterwards to England,
where Charles II granted him a pension of £300 a-year. At Charles's
death the pension lapsed, and St. Evremond declined the post of cabinet
secretary to James II. After the Revolution he had William III for
friend, and when, at last, he was invited back, in his old age, to
France, he chose to stay and die among his English friends. In a second
volume of
Miscellany Essays by Monsieur de St. Evremont,
done into
English by Mr. Brown (1694), an Essay
Of the Pleasure that Women take
in their Beauty
ends (p. 135) with the thought quoted by Steele.
In
Don Sebastian, King of Portugal,
act I, says Muley
Moloch, Emperor of Barbary,
Ay; There look like the Workmanship of Heav'n:
This is the Porcelain Clay of Human Kind.
The lines are in the Epitaph
on Elizabeth L.H.
'One name was Elizabeth,
The other, let it sleep in death.'
But Steele, quoting from memory, altered the words to his purpose. Ben
Johnson's lines were:
Underneath this stone doth lie,
As much Beauty as could die,
Which in Life did Harbour give
To more Virtue than doth live.
Contents
Contents p.2
|
Monday, April 9, 1711 |
Addison |
... parcit
Cognatis maculis similis fera ...
Juv.
The Club of which I am a Member, is very luckily composed of such
persons as are engaged in different Ways of Life, and disputed as it
were out of the most conspicuous Classes of Mankind: By this Means I am
furnished with the greatest Variety of Hints and Materials, and know
every thing that passes in the different Quarters and Divisions, not
only of this great City, but of the whole Kingdom. My Readers too have
the Satisfaction to find, that there is no Rank or Degree among them who
have not their Representative in this Club, and that there is always
some Body present who will take Care of their respective Interests, that
nothing may be written or published to the Prejudice or Infringement of
their just Rights and Privileges.
I last Night sat very late in company with this select Body of Friends,
who entertain'd me with several Remarks which they and others had made
upon these my Speculations, as also with the various Success which they
had met with among their several Ranks and Degrees of Readers.
Will.
Honeycomb
told me, in the softest Manner he could, That there were some
Ladies (but for your Comfort, says
Will
., they are not those of the most
Wit) that were offended at the Liberties I had taken with the Opera and
the Puppet-Show: That some of them were likewise very much surpriz'd,
that I should think such serious Points as the Dress and Equipage of
Persons of Quality, proper Subjects for Raillery.
He was going on, when Sir
Andrew Freeport
took him up short, and told
him, That the Papers he hinted at had done great Good in the City, and
that all their Wives and Daughters were the better for them: And further
added, That the whole City thought themselves very much obliged to me
for declaring my generous Intentions to scourge Vice and Folly as they
appear in a Multitude, without condescending to be a Publisher of
particular Intrigues and Cuckoldoms. In short, says Sir
Andrew
, if you
avoid that foolish beaten Road of falling upon Aldermen and Citizens,
and employ your Pen upon the Vanity and Luxury of Courts, your Paper
must needs be of general Use.
Upon this my Friend the
Templar
told Sir
Andrew
, That he wondered to
hear a Man of his Sense talk after that Manner; that the City had always
been the Province for Satyr; and that the Wits of King
Charles's
Time jested upon nothing else during his whole Reign. He then shewed, by
the Examples of
Horace, Juvenal, Boileau
, and the best Writers of
every Age, that the Follies of the Stage and Court had never been
accounted too sacred for Ridicule, how great so-ever the Persons might
be that patronized them. But after all, says he, I think your Raillery
has made too great an Excursion, in attacking several Persons of the
Inns of Court; and I do not believe you can shew me any Precedent for
your Behaviour in that Particular.
My good Friend Sir
Roger De Coverley
, who had said nothing all this
while, began his Speech with a Pish! and told us. That he wondered to
see so many Men of Sense so very serious upon Fooleries. Let our good
Friend, says he, attack every one that deserves it: I would only advise
you, Mr.
Spectator
, applying himself to me, to take Care how you meddle
with Country Squires: They are the Ornaments of the
English
Nation;
Men of good Heads and sound Bodies! and let me tell you, some of them
take it ill of you that you mention Fox-hunters with so little Respect.
Captain
Sentry
spoke very sparingly on this Occasion. What he said was
only to commend my Prudence in not touching upon the Army, and advised
me to continue to act discreetly in that Point.
By this Time I found every subject of my Speculations was taken away
from me by one or other of the Club; and began to think my self in the
Condition of the good Man that had one Wife who took a Dislike to his
grey Hairs, and another to his black, till by their picking out what
each of them had an Aversion to, they left his Head altogether bald and
naked.
While I was thus musing with my self, my worthy Friend the Clergy-man,
who, very luckily for me, was at the Club that Night, undertook my
Cause. He told us, That he wondered any Order of Persons should think
themselves too considerable to be advis'd: That it was not Quality, but
Innocence which exempted Men from Reproof; That Vice and Folly ought to
be attacked where-ever they could be met with, and especially when they
were placed in high and conspicuous Stations of Life. He further added,
That my Paper would only serve to aggravate the Pains of Poverty, if it
chiefly expos'd those who are already depressed, and in some measure
turn'd into Ridicule, by the Meanness of their Conditions and
Circumstances. He afterwards proceeded to take Notice of the great Use
this Paper might be of to the Publick, by reprehending those Vices which
are too trivial for the Chastisement of the Law, and too fantastical for
the Cognizance of the Pulpit. He then advised me to prosecute my
Undertaking with Chearfulness; and assured me, that whoever might be
displeased with me, I should be approved by all those whose Praises do
Honour to the Persons on whom they are bestowed.
The whole Club pays a particular Deference to the Discourse of this
Gentleman, and are drawn into what he says as much by the candid and
ingenuous Manner with which he delivers himself, as by the Strength of
Argument and Force of Reason which he makes use of.
Will. Honeycomb
immediately agreed, that what he had said was right; and that for his
Part, he would not insist upon the Quarter which he had demanded for the
Ladies. Sir
Andrew
gave up the City with the same Frankness. The
Templar
would not stand out; and was followed by Sir
Roger
and the
Captain
: Who
all agreed that I should be at Liberty to carry the War into what
Quarter I pleased; provided I continued to combat with Criminals in a
Body, and to assault the Vice without hurting the Person.
This Debate, which was held for the Good of Mankind, put me in Mind of
that which the
Roman
Triumvirate were formerly engaged in, for
their Destruction. Every Man at first stood hard for his Friend, till
they found that by this Means they should spoil their Proscription: And
at length, making a Sacrifice of all their Acquaintance and Relations,
furnished out a very decent Execution.
Having thus taken my Resolution to march on boldly in the Cause of
Virtue and good Sense, and to annoy their Adversaries in whatever Degree
or Rank of Men they may be found: I shall be deaf for the future to all
the Remonstrances that shall be made to me on this Account. If
Punch
grow extravagant, I shall reprimand him very freely: If the
Stage becomes a Nursery of Folly and Impertinence, I shall not be afraid
to animadvert upon it. In short, If I meet with any thing in City,
Court, or Country, that shocks Modesty or good Manners, I shall use my
utmost Endeavours to make an Example of it. I must however intreat every
particular Person, who does me the Honour to be a Reader of this Paper,
never to think himself, or any one of his Friends or Enemies, aimed at
in what is said: For I promise him, never to draw a faulty Character
which does not fit at least a Thousand People; or to publish a single
Paper, that is not written in the Spirit of Benevolence and with a Love
to Mankind.
C.
Contents
Contents p.2
|
Tuesday, April 10, 1711 |
Addison |
Risu inepto res ineptior milla est.
Mart.
Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt
to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are
more ambitious to excell. It is not an Imagination that teems with
Monsters, an Head that is filled with extravagant Conceptions, which is
capable of furnishing the World with Diversions of this nature; and yet
if we look into the Productions of several Writers, who set up for Men
of Humour, what wild irregular Fancies, what unnatural Distortions of
Thought, do we meet with? If they speak Nonsense, they believe they are
talking Humour; and when they have drawn together a Scheme of absurd,
inconsistent Ideas, they are not able to read it over to themselves
without laughing. These poor Gentlemen endeavour to gain themselves the
Reputation of Wits and Humourists, by such monstrous Conceits as almost
qualify them for
Bedlam;
not considering that Humour should always lye
under the Check of Reason, and that it requires the Direction of the
nicest Judgment, by so much the more as it indulges it self in the most
boundless Freedoms.
is a kind of Nature that is to be observed in
this sort of Compositions, as well as in all other, and a certain
Regularity of Thought
which
must discover the Writer to be a Man
of Sense, at the same time that he appears altogether given up to
Caprice: For my part, when I read the delirious Mirth of an unskilful
Author, I cannot be so barbarous as to divert my self with it, but am
rather apt to pity the Man, than to laugh at any thing he writes.
deceased Mr.
Shadwell
, who had himself a great deal of the Talent,
which I am treating of, represents an empty Rake, in one of his Plays,
as very much surprized to hear one say that breaking of Windows was not
Humour
; and I question not but several
English
Readers will be as
much startled to hear me affirm, that many of those raving incoherent
Pieces, which are often spread among us, under odd Chimerical Titles,
are rather the Offsprings of a Distempered Brain, than Works of Humour.
It is indeed much easier to describe what is not Humour, than what is;
and very difficult to define it otherwise than as
Cowley
has done Wit,
by Negatives. Were I to give my own Notions of it, I would deliver them
after
Plato's
manner, in a kind of Allegory, and by supposing Humour
to be a Person, deduce to him all his Qualifications, according to the
following Genealogy.
Truth
was the Founder of the Family, and the Father
of
Good Sense
.
Good Sense
was the Father of
Wit
, who married a Lady of a
Collateral Line called
Mirth
, by whom he had Issue
Humour
.
Humour
therefore being the youngest of this Illustrious Family, and descended
from Parents of such different Dispositions, is very various and unequal
in his Temper; sometimes you see him putting on grave Looks and a solemn
Habit, sometimes airy in his Behaviour and fantastick in his Dress:
Insomuch that at different times he appears as serious as a Judge, and
as jocular as a
Merry-Andrew
. But as he has a great deal of the Mother
in his Constitution, whatever Mood he is in, he never fails to make his
Company laugh.
since there
is an Impostor
abroad, who
takes upon him
the Name of this young Gentleman, and would willingly pass for him in
the World; to the end that well-meaning Persons may not be imposed upon
by
Cheats
, I would desire my Readers, when they meet with
this
Pretender,
to look into his Parentage, and to examine him strictly,
whether or no he be remotely allied to
Truth
, and lineally descended
from
Good Sense
; if not, they may conclude him a Counterfeit.
may
likewise distinguish him by a loud and excessive Laughter, in which he
seldom gets his Company to join with him. For, as
True Humour
generally
looks serious, whilst every Body laughs
about him
;
False Humour
is
always laughing, whilst every Body about him looks serious. I shall only
add, if he has not in him a Mixture of both Parents, that is, if he
would pass for the Offspring of
Wit
without
Mirth
, or
Mirth
without
Wit
,
you may conclude him to be altogether Spurious, and a Cheat.
The Impostor, of whom I am speaking, descends Originally from
Falsehood
,
who was the Mother of
Nonsense
, who was brought to Bed of a Son called
Frenzy
, who Married one of the Daughters of
Folly
, commonly known by the
Name of
Laughter
, on whom he begot that Monstrous Infant of which I have
been here speaking. I shall set down at length the Genealogical Table of
False Humour
, and, at the same time, place under it the Genealogy of
True Humour
, that the Reader may at one View behold their different
Pedigrees and Relations.
| Falsehood |
Truth |
| | |
| |
| Nonsense |
Good Sense |
| | |
| |
| Frenzy=Laughter |
Wit=Mirth |
| | |
| |
| False Humour |
Humour |
I might extend the Allegory, by mentioning several of the Children of
False Humour
, who are more in Number than the Sands of the Sea, and
might in particular enumerate the many Sons and Daughters which he has
begot in this Island. But as this would be a very invidious Task, I
shall only observe in general, that
False Humour
differs from the
True
,
as a Monkey does from a Man.
- He is exceedingly given to little Apish Tricks and
Buffooneries.
- He so much delights in Mimickry, that it is all one to him
whether he exposes by it Vice and Folly, Luxury and Avarice; or, on
the contrary, Virtue and Wisdom, Pain and Poverty.
- He is wonderfully unlucky, insomuch that he will bite the
Hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both Friends and Foes
indifferently. For having but small Talents, he must be merry where he
can, not where he should.
- Being entirely void of Reason, he pursues no Point either
of Morality or Instruction, but is ludicrous only for the sake of
being so.
- Being incapable of any thing but Mock-Representations, his
Ridicule is always Personal, and aimed at the Vicious Man, or the
Writer; not at the Vice, or at the Writing.
I have here only pointed at the whole Species of False Humourists; but
as one of my principal Designs in this Paper is to beat down that
malignant Spirit, which discovers it self in the Writings of the present
Age, I shall not scruple, for the future, to single out any of the small
Wits, that infest the World with such Compositions as are ill-natured,
immoral and absurd. This is the only Exception which I shall make to the
general Rule I have prescribed my self, of
attacking Multitudes
: Since
every honest Man ought to look upon himself as in a Natural State of War
with the Libeller and Lampooner, and to annoy them where-ever they fall
in his way. This is but retaliating upon them, and treating them as they
treat others.
C.
that
Wit, in the town sense, is talked of to satiety in
Shadwell's plays; and window-breaking by the street rioters called
'Scowrers,' who are the heroes of an entire play of his, named after
them, is represented to the life by a street scene in the third act of
his
Woman Captain.
are several Impostors
take upon them
Counterfeits
any of these Pretenders
that is about him