ACT V.
Scene I. The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.[2120]
Enter Achilles and Patroclus.
Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.[2122]
Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
Enter Thersites.
of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.[2128][2129]
of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads[2131]
o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten[2132][2133]
livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume,[2133][2134]
sciaticas, limekilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the[2133][2135] 20
rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such[2133]
preposterous discoveries![2136]
mean'st thou to curse thus?[2137]
immaterial skein of sleave silk, thou green sarcenet flap for[2140]
a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah,[2141] 30
how the poor world is pestered with such waterflies, diminutives
of nature!
From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba,
A token from her daughter, my fair love,
Both taxing me and gaging me to keep
An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it: 40
Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay;[2144]
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent:
This night in banqueting must all be spent.[2145]
Away, Patroclus! [Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus.[2145][2146] 45
two may run mad; but, if with too much brain and too little
blood they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,
an honest fellow enough and one that loves quails;[2147]
but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: and the goodly[2148] 50
transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the[2149]
primitive statue and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty[2150]
shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg,—to[2151]
what form but that he is, should wit larded with malice and[2152]
malice forced with wit turn him to? To an ass, were nothing;[2153] 55
he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing; he is[2154]
both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a[2154][2155]
toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe,[2156]
I would not care; but to be Menelaus! I would conspire[2157]
against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were[2158] 60
not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I
were not Menelaus. Hoy-day! spirits and fires!
Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor, Menelaus, and Diomedes, with lights.[2159]
Re-enter Achilles.[2163]
Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.[2165]
Keep Hector company an hour or two.
The tide whereof is now. Good night, great Hector.
I'll keep you company.[2176]
[Exit Diomedes; Ulysses and Troilus following.[2178]
[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor.[2179]
unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers than
I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth
and promise, like Brabbler the hound; but when he performs,
astronomers foretell it; it is prodigious, there will[2180]
come some change; the sun borrows of the moon when[2181] 90
Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector
than not to dog him: they say he keeps a Trojan drab
and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. Nothing but[2182]
lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit.[2183]
Scene II. The same. Before Calchas' tent.
Enter Diomedes.[2184]
Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance; after them, Thersites.[2188]
Enter Cressida.[2189]
Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.[2201]
Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience: stay a little while.
potato-finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry![2215]
I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel: I am all patience.
Re-enter Cressida.[2219]
He loved me—O false wench!—Give't me again.
I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
I prithee, Diomed, visit me no more.
Thy master now lies thinking in his bed[2225]
Of thee and me, and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,[2226]
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;[2226][2227] 80
He that takes that doth take my heart withal.[2228]
I'll give you something else. 85
But, now you have it, take it.
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.
It should be challenged. 95
I will not keep my word.
[Exit Diomedes.[2238]
But with my heart the other eye doth see.[2239]
Ah, poor our sex! this fault in us I find,
The error of our eye directs our mind:
What error leads must err; O, then conclude
Minds sway'd by eyes are full of turpitude. [Exit. 110
Unless she said 'My mind is now turn'd whore.'[2241]
Of every syllable that here was spoke. 115
But if I tell how these two did co-act,[2242]
Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
An esperance so obstinately strong,
That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears;[2243] 120
As if those organs had deceptious functions,[2244]
Created only to calumniate.[2245]
Was Cressid here?[2245]
Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage
To stubborn critics, apt without a theme
For depravation, to square the general sex[2248] 130
By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid.
If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimonies,[2252]
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
If there be rule in unity itself,[2253]
This is not she. O madness of discourse,[2254] 140
That cause sets up with and against itself![2255]
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt[2256][2257]
Without perdition, and loss assume all reason[2257][2258]
Without revolt: this is, and is not, Cressid!
Within my soul there doth conduce a fight[2259] 145
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth;[2260]
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifex for a point as subtle[2261][2262]
As Ariachne's broken woof to enter.[2261][2263] 150
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolved and loosed;
And with another knot, five-finger-tied,[2264] 155
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits and greasy relics
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.[2265]
With that which here his passion doth express? 160
In characters as red as Mars his heart
Inflamed with Venus: never did young man fancy[2267]
With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
Hark, Greek: as much as I do Cressid love,[2268] 165
So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
That sleeve is mine that he'll bear on his helm:[2269]
Were it a casque composed by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout
Which shipmen do the hurricano call, 170
Constringed in mass by the almighty sun,[2270]
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear[2271]
In his descent, than shall my prompted sword[2271]
Falling on Diomed.[2271]
Let all untruths stand by thy stained name,
And they'll seem glorious.
Your passion draws ears hither.
Enter Æneas.