Great
Britain
. I shall present my Reader with a short Specimen of them in
this Paper, and may perhaps communicate more to him hereafter. In the
Article of
London
are the following Words, which without doubt are
meant of the Church of St.
Paul
.
'On the most rising Part of the Town there stands a huge House, big
enough to contain the whole Nation of which I am King. Our good
Brother
E Tow O Koam, King of the
Rivers, is of opinion it was
made by the Hands of that great God to whom it is consecrated. The
Kings of
Granajah and of the
Six Nations believe that it was
created with the Earth, and produced on the same Day with the Sun and
Moon. But for my own Part, by the best Information that I could get of
this Matter, I am apt to think that this prodigious Pile was fashioned
into the Shape it now bears by several Tools and Instruments of which
they have a wonderful Variety in this Country. It was probably at
first an huge mis-shapen Rock that grew upon the Top of the Hill,
which the Natives of the Country (after having cut it into a kind of
regular Figure) bored and hollowed with incredible Pains and Industry,
till they had wrought in it all those beautiful Vaults and Caverns
into which it is divided at this Day.
As soon as this Rock was thus
curiously scooped to their Liking, a prodigious Number of Hands must
have been employed in chipping the Outside of it, which is now as
smooth as
the Surface of a Pebble3; and is in several Places hewn
out into Pillars that stand like the Trunks of so many Trees bound
about the Top with Garlands of Leaves. It is probable that when this
great Work was begun, which must have been many Hundred Years ago,
there was some Religion among this People; for they give it the Name
of a Temple, and have a Tradition that it was designed for Men to pay
their Devotions in.
And indeed, there are several Reasons which make
us think that the Natives of this Country had formerly among them some
sort of Worship; for they set apart every seventh Day as sacred: But
upon my going into one of
these4 holy Houses on that Day, I could
not observe any Circumstance of Devotion in their Behaviour: There was
indeed a Man in Black who was mounted above the rest, and seemed to
utter something with a great deal of Vehemence; but as for those
underneath him, instead of paying their Worship to the Deity of the
Place, they were most of them bowing and curtisying to one another,
and a considerable Number of them fast asleep.
The Queen of the Country appointed two Men to attend us, that had
enough of our Language to make themselves understood in some few
Particulars. But we soon perceived these two were great Enemies to one
another, and did not always agree in the same Story. We could make a
Shift to gather out of one of them, that this Island was very much
infested with a monstrous Kind of Animals, in the Shape of Men, called
Whigs; and he often told us, that he hoped we should meet with
none of them in our Way, for that if we did, they would be apt to
knock us down for being Kings.
Our other Interpreter used to talk very much of a kind of Animal
called a
Tory, that was as great a Monster as the
Whig,
and would treat us as ill for being Foreigners. These two Creatures,
it seems, are born with a secret Antipathy to one another, and engage
when they meet as naturally as the Elephant and the Rhinoceros. But as
we saw none of either of these Species, we are apt to think that our
Guides deceived us with Misrepresentations and Fictions, and amused us
with an Account of such Monsters as are not really in their Country.
These Particulars we made a shift to pick out from the Discourse of
our Interpreters; which we put together as well as we could, being
able to understand but here and there a Word of what they said, and
afterwards making up the Meaning of it among ourselves. The Men of the
Country are very cunning and ingenious in handicraft Works; but withal
so very idle, that we often saw young lusty raw-boned Fellows carried
up and down the Streets in little covered Rooms by a Couple of
Porters, who are hired for that Service. Their Dress is likewise very
barbarous, for they almost strangle themselves about the Neck, and
bind their Bodies with many Ligatures, that we are apt to think are
the Occasion of several Distempers among them which our Country is
entirely free from. Instead of those beautiful Feathers with which we
adorn our Heads, they often buy up a monstrous Bush of Hair, which
covers their Heads, and falls down in a large Fleece below the Middle
of their Backs; with which they walk up and down the Streets, and are
as proud of it as if it was of their own growth.
We were invited to one of their publick Diversions, where we hoped to
have seen the great Men of their Country running down a Stag or
pitching a Bar, that we might have discovered who were the
Persons of
the greatest Abilities among them5; but instead of that, they
conveyed us into a huge Room lighted up with abundance of Candles,
where this lazy People sat still above three Hours to see several
Feats of Ingenuity performed by others, who it seems were paid for it.
As for the Women of the Country, not being able to talk with them, we
could only make our Remarks upon them at a Distance. They let the Hair
of their Heads grow to a great Length; but as the Men make a great
Show with Heads of Hair that are not of their own, the Women, who they
say have very fine Heads of Hair, tie it up in a Knot, and cover it
from being seen. The Women look like Angels, and would be more
beautiful than the Sun, were it not for little black Spots that are
apt to break out in their Faces, and sometimes rise in very odd
Figures.
I have observed that those little Blemishes wear off very
soon; but when they disappear in one Part of the Face, they are very
apt to break out in another, insomuch that I have seen a Spot upon the
Forehead in the Afternoon, which was upon the Chin in the Morning
6.'
The Author then proceeds to shew the Absurdity of Breeches and
Petticoats, with many other curious Observations, which I shall reserve
for another Occasion. I cannot however conclude this Paper without
taking notice, That amidst these wild Remarks there now and then appears
something very reasonable. I cannot likewise forbear observing, That we
are all guilty in some Measure of the same narrow way of Thinking, which
we meet with in this Abstract of the
Indian
Journal; when we
fancy the Customs, Dress, and Manners of other Countries are ridiculous
and extravagant, if they do not resemble those of our own.
C.
Swift writes to Stella, in his Journal, 28th April,
1711:
'The Spectator is written by Steele, with Addison's help; 'tis often
very pretty. Yesterday it was made of a noble hint I gave him long ago
for his Tatlers, about an Indian, supposed to write his travels into
England. I repent he ever had it. I intended to have written a book on
that subject. I believe he has spent it all in one paper, and all the
under hints there are mine too; but I never see him or Addison.'
The paper, it will be noticed, was not written by Steele.
The four kings Te Yee Neen Ho Ga Prow, Sa Ga Yean Qua Rash
Tow, E Tow O Koam, and Oh Nee Yeath Ton Now Prow, were chiefs of the
Iroquois Indians who had been persuaded by adjacent British colonists to
come and pay their respects to Queen Anne, and see for themselves the
untruth of the assertion made among them by the Jesuits, that the
English and all other nations were vassals to the French king. They were
said also to have been told that the Saviour was born in France and
crucified in England.
polished Marble
those
Men of the greatest Perfections in their Country
There was, among other fancies, a patch cut to the pattern
of a coach and horses. Suckling, in verses
upon the Black Spots worn by
my Lady D. E.,
had called them her
... Mourning weeds for Hearts forlorn,
Which, though you must not love, you could not scorn,
Contents
|
Saturday, April 28, 1711 |
Steele |
Torquet ab Obscenis jam nunc Sermonibus Aurem.
Hor.
translation
Mr. Spectator,
'My Fortune, Quality, and Person are such as render me as Conspicuous
as any Young Woman in Town. It is in my Power to enjoy it in all its
Vanities, but I have, from a very careful Education, contracted a
great Aversion to the forward Air and Fashion which is practised in
all Publick Places and Assemblies. I attribute this very much to the
Stile and Manners of our Plays: I was last Night at the
Funeral, where a Confident Lover in the Play, speaking of his
Mistress, cries out:
Oh that Harriot!
to fold these Arms
about the Waste of that Beauteous strugling, and at last yielding
Fair!1
Such an Image as this ought, by no means, to be
presented to a Chaste and Regular Audience. I expect your Opinion of
this Sentence, and recommend to your Consideration, as a
Spectator,
the conduct of the Stage at present with Relation to Chastity and
Modesty.
I am, Sir,
Your Constant Reader
and Well-wisher.
Complaint of this Young Lady is so just, that the Offence is
great
enough to have displeased Persons who cannot pretend to that
Delicacy and Modesty, of which she is Mistress. But there is a great
deal to be said in Behalf of an Author: If the Audience would but
consider the Difficulty of keeping up a sprightly Dialogue for five Acts
together, they would allow a Writer, when he wants Wit, and can't please
any otherwise, to help it out with a little Smuttiness. I will answer
for the Poets, that no one ever writ Bawdy for any other Reason but
Dearth of Invention.
the Author cannot strike out of himself any
more of that which he has superior to those who make up the Bulk of his
Audience, his natural Recourse is to that which he has in common with
them; and a Description which gratifies a sensual Appetite will please,
when the Author has nothing
about him to delight
a refined
Imagination. It is to such a Poverty we must impute this and all other
Sentences in Plays, which are of this Kind, and which are commonly
termed Luscious Expressions.
This Expedient, to supply the Deficiencies of Wit, has been used more or
less, by most of the Authors who have succeeded on the Stage; tho' I
know but one who has professedly writ a Play upon the Basis of the
Desire of Multiplying our Species, and that is the Polite Sir
George
Etherege;
if I understand what the Lady would be at, in the Play
called
She would if She could.
Other Poets have, here and there,
given an Intimation that there is this Design, under all the Disguises
and Affectations which a Lady may put on; but no Author, except this,
has made sure Work of it, and put the Imaginations of the Audience upon
this one Purpose, from the Beginning to the End of the Comedy. It has
always fared accordingly; for whether it be, that all who go to this
Piece would if they could, or that the Innocents go to it, to guess only
what
She would if She could
, the Play has always been well
received.
It lifts an heavy empty Sentence, when there is added to it a lascivious
Gesture of Body; and when it is too low to be raised even by that, a
flat Meaning is enlivened by making it a double one. Writers, who want
Genius
, never fail of keeping this Secret in reserve, to create a
Laugh, or raise a Clap. I, who know nothing of Women but from seeing
Plays, can give great Guesses at the whole Structure of the fair Sex, by
being innocently placed in the Pit, and insulted by the Petticoats of
their Dancers; the Advantages of whose pretty Persons are a great Help
to a dull Play. When a Poet flags in writing Lusciously, a pretty Girl
can move Lasciviously, and have the same good Consequence for the
Author.
Poets in this Case use their Audiences, as dull Parasites
do their Patrons; when they cannot longer divert
them
with their
Wit or Humour, they bait
their
Ears
something which is
agreeable to
their
Temper, though below
their
Understanding.
Apicius
cannot resist being pleased, if you give him an Account of a
delicious Meal; or
Clodius
, if you describe a Wanton Beauty: Tho' at
the same time, if you do not awake those Inclinations in them, no Men
are better Judges of what is just and delicate in Conversation. But as I
have before observed, it is easier to talk to the Man, than to the Man
of Sense.
It is remarkable, that the Writers of least Learning are best skilled in
the luscious Way.
Poetesses of the Age have done Wonders in this
kind; and we are obliged to the Lady who writ
Ibrahim
, for
introducing a preparatory Scene to the very Action, when the Emperor
throws his Handkerchief as a Signal for his Mistress to follow him into
the most retired Part of the Seraglio. It must be confessed his
Turkish
Majesty went off with a good Air, but, methought, we made but
a sad Figure who waited without.
ingenious Gentlewoman, in this
piece of Bawdry, refined upon an Author of the same Sex
, who, in the
Rover
, makes a Country Squire strip to his Holland Drawers. For
Blunt
is disappointed, and the Emperor is understood to go on to the
utmost. The Pleasantry of stripping almost Naked has been since
practised (where indeed it should have begun) very successfully at
Bartholomew
Fair.
It is not here to be omitted, that in one of the above-mentioned Female
Compositions, the
Rover
is very frequently sent on the same Errand; as
I take it, above once every Act. This is not wholly unnatural; for, they
say, the Men-Authors draw themselves in their chief Characters, and the
Women-Writers may be allowed the same Liberty. Thus, as the Male Wit
gives his Hero a [good] Fortune, the Female gives her Heroin a great
Gallant, at the End of the Play. But, indeed, there is hardly a Play one
can go to, but the Hero or fine Gentleman of it struts off upon the same
account, and leaves us to consider what good Office he has put us to, or
to employ our selves as we please. To be plain, a Man who frequents
Plays would have a very respectful Notion of himself, were he to
recollect how often he has been used as a Pimp to ravishing Tyrants, or
successful Rakes. When the Actors make their
Exit
on this good
Occasion, the Ladies are sure to have an examining Glance from the Pit,
to see how they relish what passes; and a few lewd Fools are very ready
to employ their Talents upon the Composure or Freedom of their Looks.
Such Incidents as these make some Ladies wholly absent themselves from
the Play-House; and others never miss the first Day of a Play, lest it
should prove too luscious to admit their going with any Countenance to
it on the second.
If Men of Wit, who think fit to write for the Stage, instead of this
pitiful way of giving Delight, would turn their Thoughts upon raising it
from good natural Impulses as are in the Audience, but are choked up by
Vice and Luxury, they would not only please, but befriend us at the same
time. If a Man had a mind to be new in his way of Writing, might not he
who is now represented as a fine Gentleman, tho' he betrays the Honour
and Bed of his Neighbour and Friend, and lies with half the Women in the
Play, and is at last rewarded with her of the best Character in it; I
say, upon giving the Comedy another Cast, might not such a one divert
the Audience quite as well, if at the Catastrophe he were found out for
a Traitor, and met with Contempt accordingly? There is seldom a Person
devoted to above one Darling Vice at a time, so that there is room
enough to catch at Men's Hearts to their Good and Advantage, if the
Poets will attempt it with the Honesty which becomes their Characters.
There is no Man who loves his Bottle or his Mistress, in a manner so
very abandoned, as not to be capable of relishing an agreeable
Character, that is no way a Slave to either of those Pursuits. A Man
that is Temperate, Generous, Valiant, Chaste, Faithful and Honest, may,
at the same time, have Wit, Humour, Mirth, Good-breeding, and Gallantry.
While he exerts these latter Qualities, twenty Occasions might be
invented to shew he is Master of the other noble Virtues. Such
Characters would smite and reprove the Heart of a Man of Sense, when he
is given up to his Pleasures. He would see he has been mistaken all this
while, and be convinced that a sound Constitution and an innocent Mind
are the true Ingredients for becoming and enjoying Life. All Men of true
Taste would call a Man of Wit, who should turn his Ambition this way, a
Friend and Benefactor to his Country; but I am at a loss what Name they
would give him, who makes use of his Capacity for contrary Purposes.
R.
The Play is by Steele himself, the writer of this Essay. Steele's Plays
were as pure as his
Spectator
Essays, absolutely discarding the
customary way of enforcing feeble dialogues by the spurious force of
oaths, and aiming at a wholesome influence upon his audience. The
passage here recanted was a climax of passion in one of the lovers of
two sisters, Act II., sc. I, and was thus retrenched in subsequent
editions:
| Campley. |
Oh that Harriot! to embrace that beauteous – |
| Lord Hardy. |
Ay, Tom; but methinks your Head runs too much on
the Wedding Night only, to make your Happiness lasting; mine is fixt on
the married State; I expect my Felicity from Lady Sharlot, in her Friendship,
her Constancy, her Piety, her household Cares, her maternal Tenderness
— You think not of any excellence of your Mistress that is more than
skin deep. |
gross
else to gratifie
him
his
his
his
Mary Pix, whose Tragedy of
Ibrahim XII, Emperor of the
Turks
, was first acted in 1696.
Mrs. Aphra Behn, whose
Rover, or the Banished Cavaliers
,
is a Comedy in two Parts; first acted, Part I in 1677, Part II in
1681.
Contents
|
Thursday, April 2, 1711 |
Addison |
Omnes ut Tecum meritis pro Talibus annos
Exigat, et pulchra faciat Te prole parentem.
Virg.
translation
An ingenious Correspondent, like a sprightly Wife, will always have the
last Word. I did not think my last Letter to the deformed Fraternity
would have occasioned any Answer, especially since I had promised them
so sudden a Visit: But as they think they cannot shew too great a
Veneration for my Person, they have already sent me up an Answer. As to
the Proposal of a Marriage between my self and the matchless
Hecatissa
, I have but one Objection to it; which is, That all the
Society will expect to be acquainted with her; and who can be sure of
keeping a Woman's Heart long, where she may have so much Choice? I am
the more alarmed at this, because the Lady seems particularly smitten
with Men of their Make.
I believe I shall set my Heart upon her; and think never the worse of my
Mistress for an Epigram a smart Fellow writ, as he thought, against her;
it does but the more recommend her to me. At the same time I cannot but
discover that his Malice is stolen from
Martial
.
Tacta places, Audit a places, si non videare
Tota places, neutro, si videare, places.
Whilst in the Dark on thy soft Hand I hung,
And heard the tempting Siren in thy Tongue,
What Flames, what Darts, what Anguish I endured!
But when the Candle entered I was cur'd.
'Your Letter to us we have received, as a signal Mark of your Favour
and brotherly Affection. We shall be heartily glad to see your short
Face in
Oxford: And since the Wisdom of our Legislature has been
immortalized in your Speculations, and our personal Deformities in
some sort by you recorded to all Posterity; we hold ourselves in
Gratitude bound to receive with the highest Respect, all such Persons
as for their extraordinary Merit you shall think fit, from Time to
Time, to recommend unto the Board. As for the Pictish Damsel, we have
an easy Chair prepared at the upper End of the Table; which we doubt
not but she will grace with a very hideous Aspect, and much better
become the Seat in the native and unaffected Uncomeliness of her
Person, than with all the superficial Airs of the Pencil, which (as
you have very ingeniously observed) vanish with a Breath, and the most
innocent Adorer may deface the Shrine with a Salutation, and in the
literal Sense of our Poets, snatch and imprint his balmy Kisses, and
devour her melting Lips: In short, the only Faces of the Pictish Kind
that will endure the Weather, must be of Dr.
Carbuncle's Die; tho'
his, in truth, has cost him a World the Painting; but then he boasts
with
Zeuxes, In eternitatem pingo; and oft jocosely tells the Fair
Ones, would they acquire Colours that would stand kissing, they must
no longer Paint but Drink for a Complexion: A Maxim that in this our
Age has been pursued with no ill Success; and has been as admirable in
its Effects, as the famous Cosmetick mentioned in the
Post-man, and
invented by the renowned
British Hippocrates of the Pestle and
Mortar; making the Party, after a due Course, rosy, hale and airy; and
the best and most approved Receipt now extant for the Fever of the
Spirits. But to return to our Female Candidate, who, I understand, is
returned to herself, and will no longer hang out false Colours; as she
is the first of her Sex that has done us so great an Honour, she will
certainly, in a very short Time, both in Prose and Verse, be a Lady of
the most celebrated Deformity now living; and meet with Admirers here
as frightful as herself. But being a long-headed Gentlewoman, I am apt
to imagine she has some further Design than you have yet penetrated;
and perhaps has more mind to the
Spectator than any of his Fraternity,
as the Person of all the World she could like for a Paramour: And if
so, really I cannot but applaud her Choice; and should be glad, if it
might lie in my Power, to effect an amicable Accommodation betwixt two
Faces of such different Extremes, as the only possible Expedient to
mend the Breed, and rectify the Physiognomy of the Family on both
Sides. And again, as she is a Lady of very fluent Elocution, you need
not fear that your first Child will be born dumb, which otherwise you
might have some Reason to be apprehensive of.
To be plain with you, I
can see nothing shocking in it; for tho she has not a Face like a
John-Apple, yet as a late Friend of mine, who at Sixty-five ventured
on a Lass of Fifteen, very frequently, in the remaining five Years of
his Life, gave me to understand, That, as old as he then seemed, when
they were first married he and his Spouse
could1 make but
Fourscore; so may Madam
Hecatissa very justly allege hereafter,
That, as long-visaged as she may then be thought, upon their
Wedding-day Mr.
Spectator and she had but Half an Ell of Face betwixt
them: And this my very worthy Predecessor, Mr. Sergeant
Chin, always
maintained to be no more than the true oval Proportion between Man and
Wife. But as this may be a new thing to you, who have hitherto had no
Expectations from Women, I shall allow you what Time you think fit to
consider on't; not without some Hope of seeing at last your Thoughts
hereupon subjoin'd to mine, and which is an Honour much desired by,
Sir,
Your assured Friend,
and most humble Servant,
Hugh
Gobling2, Præses.'
The following Letter has not much in it, but as it is written in my own
Praise I cannot for my Heart suppress it.
Sir,
'You proposed, in your Spectator of last Tuesday, Mr. Hobbs's
Hypothesis for solving that very odd Phænomenon of Laughter. You have
made the Hypothesis valuable by espousing it your self; for had it
continued Mr. Hobbs's, no Body would have minded it. Now here this
perplexed Case arises. A certain Company laughed very heartily upon
the Reading of that very Paper of yours: And the Truth on it is, he
must be a Man of more than ordinary Constancy that could stand it out
against so much Comedy, and not do as we did. Now there are few Men in
the World so far lost to all good Sense, as to look upon you to be a
Man in a State of Folly inferior to himself. Pray then how do you
justify your Hypothesis of Laughter?
Thursday, the 26th of
the Month of Fools.
Your most humble,
Q. R.'
Sir,
'In answer to your Letter, I must desire you to recollect yourself;
and you will find, that when you did me the Honour to be so merry over
my Paper, you laughed at the Idiot, the German Courtier, the Gaper,
the Merry-Andrew, the Haberdasher, the Biter, the Butt, and not at
Your humble Servant,
The Spectator.'