could both
Goblin
Contents
|
Tuesday, May 1, 1711 |
Steele |
My Correspondents grow so numerous, that I cannot avoid frequently
inserting their Applications to me.
Mr
Spectator,
'I am glad I can inform you, that your Endeavours to adorn that Sex,
which is the fairest Part of the visible Creation, are well received,
and like to prove not unsuccessful. The Triumph of
Daphne over her
Sister
Letitia has been the Subject of Conversation at Several
Tea-Tables where I have been present; and I have observed the fair
Circle not a little pleased to find you considering them as reasonable
Creatures, and endeavouring to banish that
Mahometan Custom which
had too much prevailed even in this Island, of treating Women as if
they had no Souls. I must do them the Justice to say, that there seems
to be nothing wanting to the finishing of these lovely Pieces of Human
Nature, besides the turning and applying their Ambition properly, and
the keeping them up to a Sense of what is their true Merit.
Epictetus, that
plain honest Philosopher, as little as he had of
Gallantry, appears to have understood them, as well as the polite St.
Evremont, and has hit this Point very luckily
1.
When young
Women, says he,
arrive at a certain Age, they hear themselves called
Mistresses, and are made to believe that their only Business is to
please the Men; they immediately begin to dress, and place all their
Hopes in the adorning of their Persons; it is therefore, continues
he,
worth the while to endeavour by all means to make them sensible
that the Honour paid to them is only, upon account of their
conducting themselves with Virtue, Modesty, and Discretion.
Now to pursue the Matter yet further, and to render your Cares for
the Improvement of the Fair Ones more effectual, I would propose a new
method, like those Applications which are said to convey their virtues
by Sympathy; and that is, in order to embellish the Mistress, you
should give a new Education to the Lover, and teach the Men not to be
any longer dazzled by false Charms and unreal Beauty. I cannot but
think that if our Sex knew always how to place their Esteem justly,
the other would not be so often wanting to themselves in deserving it.
For as the being enamoured with a Woman of Sense and Virtue is an
Improvement to a Man's Understanding and Morals, and the Passion is
ennobled by the Object which inspires it; so on the other side, the
appearing amiable to a Man of a wise and elegant Mind, carries in it
self no small Degree of Merit and Accomplishment. I conclude
therefore, that one way to make the Women yet more agreeable is, to
make the Men more virtuous.
I am, Sir,
Your most humble Servant,
R. B.'
April 26.
Sir,
'Yours of
Saturday last I read, not without some Resentment; but I
will suppose when you say you expect an Inundation of Ribbons and
Brocades, and to see many new Vanities which the Women will fall into
upon a Peace with
France, that you intend only the unthinking Part
of our Sex: And what Methods can reduce them to Reason is hard to
imagine.
But, Sir, there are others yet, that your Instructions might be of
great Use to, who, after their best Endeavours, are sometimes at a
loss to acquit themselves to a Censorious World: I am far from
thinking you can altogether disapprove of Conversation between Ladies
and Gentlemen, regulated by the Rules of Honour and Prudence; and have
thought it an Observation not ill made, that where that was wholly
denied, the Women lost their Wit, and the Men their Good-manners. 'Tis
sure, from those improper Liberties you mentioned, that a sort of
undistinguishing People shall banish from their Drawing-Rooms the
best-bred Men in the World, and condemn those that do not. Your
stating this Point might, I think, be of good use, as well as much
oblige,
Sir,
Your Admirer, and
most humble Servant,
Anna Bella.'
No Answer to this, till
Anna Bella
sends a Description of those she
calls the Best-bred Men in the World
.
Mr. Spectator,
'I am a Gentleman who for many Years last past have been well known to
be truly Splenatick, and that my Spleen arises from having contracted
so great a Delicacy, by reading the best Authors, and keeping the most
refined Company, that I cannot bear the least Impropriety of Language,
or Rusticity of Behaviour. Now, Sir, I have ever looked upon this as a
wise Distemper; but by late Observations find that every heavy Wretch,
who has nothing to say, excuses his Dulness by complaining of the
Spleen. Nay, I saw, the other Day, two Fellows in a Tavern Kitchen set
up for it, call for a Pint and Pipes, and only by Guzling Liquor to
each other's Health, and wafting Smoke in each other's Face, pretend
to throw off the Spleen. I appeal to you, whether these Dishonours are
to be done to the Distemper of the Great and the Polite. I beseech
you, Sir, to inform these Fellows that they have not the Spleen,
because they cannot talk without the help of a Glass at their Mouths,
or convey their Meaning to each other without the Interposition of
Clouds. If you will not do this with all Speed, I assure you, for my
part, I will wholly quit the Disease, and for the future be merry with
the Vulgar.
I am, Sir,
Your humble Servant.'
Sir,
'This is to let you understand, that I am a reformed Starer, and
conceived a Detestation for that Practice from what you have writ upon
the Subject. But as you have been very severe upon the Behaviour of us
Men at Divine Service, I hope you will not be so apparently partial to
the Women, as to let them go wholly unobserved. If they do everything
that is possible to attract our Eyes, are we more culpable than they
for looking at them? I happened last Sunday to be shut into a Pew,
which was full of young Ladies in the Bloom of Youth and Beauty. When
the Service began, I had not Room to kneel at the Confession, but as I
stood kept my eyes from wandring as well as I was able, till one of
the young Ladies, who is a Peeper, resolved to bring down my Looks,
and fix my Devotion on her self. You are to know, Sir, that a Peeper
works with her Hands, Eyes, and Fan; one of which is continually in
Motion, while she thinks she is not actually the Admiration of some
Ogler or Starer in the Congregation. As I stood utterly at a loss how
to behave my self, surrounded as I was, this Peeper so placed her self
as to be kneeling just before me. She displayed the most beautiful
Bosom imaginable, which heaved and fell with some Fervour, while a
delicate well-shaped Arm held a Fan over her Face. It was not in
Nature to command ones Eyes from this Object; I could not avoid taking
notice also of her Fan, which had on it various Figures, very improper
to behold on that Occasion. There lay in the Body of the Piece a
Venus, under a Purple Canopy furled with curious Wreaths of Drapery,
half naked, attended with a Train of Cupids, who were busied in
Fanning her as she slept. Behind her was drawn a Satyr peeping over
the silken Fence, and threatening to break through it. I frequently
offered to turn my Sight another way, but was still detained by the
Fascination of the Peeper's Eyes, who had long practised a Skill in
them, to recal the parting Glances of her Beholders. You see my
Complaint, and hope you will take these mischievous People, the
Peepers, into your Consideration: I doubt not but you will think a
Peeper as much more pernicious than a Starer, as an Ambuscade is more
to be feared than an open Assault.
I am, Sir,
Your most Obedient Servant.'
This Peeper using both Fan and Eyes to be considered as a
Pict,
and
proceed accordingly.
King
Latinus to the
Spectator, Greeting.
'
Tho' some may think we descend from our Imperial Dignity, in holding
Correspondence with a private
Litterato2; yet as we have great
Respect to all good Intentions for our Service, we do not esteem it
beneath us to return you our Royal Thanks for what you published in
our Behalf, while under Confinement in the Inchanted Castle of the
Savoy, and for your Mention of a Subsidy for a Prince in Misfortune.
This your timely Zeal has inclined the Hearts of divers to be aiding
unto us, if we could propose the Means. We have taken their Good will
into Consideration, and have contrived a Method which will be easy to
those who shall give the Aid, and not unacceptable to us who receive
it. A Consort of Musick shall be prepared at
Haberdashers-Hall for
Wednesday the Second of
May, and we will honour the said
Entertainment with our own Presence, where each Person shall be
assessed but at two Shillings and six Pence. What we expect from you
is, that you publish these our Royal Intentions, with Injunction that
they be read at all Tea-Tables within the Cities of
London and
Westminster; and so we bid you heartily Farewell.
Latinus, King of the
Volscians.'
Given at our Court in Vinegar-Yard,
Story the Third from the Earth.
April 28, 1711.
R.
Epictetus his Morals, with Simplicius his Comment,
was
translated by George Stanhope in 1694. The citation above is a free
rendering of the sense of cap. 62 of the Morals.
Litterati
Contents
|
Wednesday, May 2, 1711 |
Steele |
The following Letter being the first that I have received from the
learned University of
Cambridge
, I could not but do my self the Honour
of publishing it. It gives an Account of a new Sect of Philosophers
which has arose in that famous Residence of Learning; and is, perhaps,
the only Sect this Age is likely to produce.
Cambridge, April 26.
Mr.
Spectator,
'Believing you to be an universal Encourager of liberal Arts and
Sciences, and glad of any Information from the learned World, I
thought an Account of a Sect of Philosophers very frequent among us,
but not taken Notice of, as far as I can remember, by any Writers
either ancient or modern, would not be unacceptable to you. The
Philosophers of this Sect are in the Language of our University called
Lowngers. I am of Opinion, that, as in many other things, so
likewise in this, the Ancients have been defective;
viz. in
mentioning no Philosophers of this Sort. Some indeed will affirm that
they are a kind of Peripateticks, because we see them continually
walking about. But I would have these Gentlemen consider, that tho'
the ancient Peripateticks walked much, yet they wrote much also;
(witness, to the Sorrow of this Sect,
Aristotle and others): Whereas
it is notorious that most of our Professors never lay out a Farthing
either in Pen, Ink, or Paper. Others are for deriving them from
Diogenes, because several of the leading Men of the Sect have a
great deal of the cynical Humour in them, and delight much in
Sun-shine. But then again,
Diogenes was content to have his constant
Habitation in a narrow Tub; whilst our Philosophers are so far from
being of his Opinion, that it's Death to them to be confined within
the Limits of a good handsome convenient Chamber but for half an Hour.
Others there are, who from the Clearness of their Heads deduce the
Pedigree of
Lowngers from that great Man (I think it was either
Plato or
Socrates1) who after all his Study and Learning
professed, That all he then knew was, that he knew nothing. You easily
see this is but a shallow Argument, and may be soon confuted.
I have with great Pains and Industry made my Observations from time to
time upon these Sages; and having now all Materials ready, am
compiling a Treatise, wherein I shall set forth the Rise and Progress
of this famous Sect, together with their Maxims, Austerities, Manner
of living, &c. Having prevailed with a Friend who designs shortly to
publish a new Edition of
Diogenes Laertius, to add this Treatise of
mine by way of Supplement; I shall now, to let the World see what may
be expected from me (first begging Mr.
Spectator's Leave that the
World may see it) briefly touch upon some of my chief Observations,
and then subscribe my self your humble Servant. In the first Place I
shall give you two or three of their Maxims: The fundamental one, upon
which their whole System is built, is this, viz. That Time being an
implacable Enemy to and Destroyer of all things, ought to be paid in
his own Coin, and be destroyed and murdered without Mercy by all the
Ways that can be invented. Another favourite Saying of theirs is, That
Business was designed only for Knaves, and Study for Blockheads. A
third seems to be a ludicrous one, but has a great Effect upon their
Lives; and is this, That the Devil is at Home. Now for their Manner of
Living: And here I have a large Field to expatiate in; but I shall
reserve Particulars for my intended Discourse, and now only mention
one or two of their principal Exercises. The elder Proficients employ
themselves in inspecting
mores hominum multorum, in getting
acquainted with all the Signs and Windows in the Town. Some are
arrived at so great Knowledge, that they can tell every time any
Butcher kills a Calf, every time any old Woman's Cat is in the Straw;
and a thousand other Matters as important. One ancient Philosopher
contemplates two or three Hours every Day over a Sun-Dial; and is true
to the Dial,
...
As the Dial to the Sun,
Although it be not shone upon
2.
Our younger Students are content to carry their Speculations as yet no
farther than Bowling-greens, Billiard-Tables, and such like Places.
This may serve for a Sketch of my Design; in which I hope I shall have
your Encouragement.
I am,
Sir,
Yours
3.
I must be so just as to observe I have formerly seen of this Sect at our
other University; tho' not distinguished by the Appellation which the
learned Historian, my Correspondent, reports they bear at
Cambridge
.
They were ever looked upon as a People that impaired themselves more by
their strict Application to the Rules of their Order, than any other
Students whatever. Others seldom hurt themselves any further than to
gain weak Eyes and sometimes Head-Aches; but these Philosophers are
seized all over with a general Inability, Indolence, and Weariness, and
a certain Impatience of the Place they are in, with an Heaviness in
removing to another.
The
Lowngers
are satisfied with being merely Part of the Number of
Mankind, without distinguishing themselves from amongst them. They may
be said rather to suffer their Time to pass, than to spend it, without
Regard to the past, or Prospect of the future. All they know of Life is
only the present Instant, and do not taste even that. When one of this
Order happens to be a Man of Fortune, the Expence of his Time is
transferr'd to his Coach and Horses, and his Life is to be measured by
their Motion, not his own Enjoyments or Sufferings. The chief
Entertainment one of these Philosophers can possibly propose to himself,
is to get a Relish of Dress: This, methinks, might diversifie the Person
he is weary of (his own dear self) to himself. I have known these two
Amusements make one of these Philosophers make a tolerable Figure in the
World; with a variety of Dresses in publick Assemblies in Town, and
quick Motion of his Horses out of it, now to
Bath
, now to
Tunbridge
, then to
Newmarket
, and then to
London
,
he has in Process of Time brought it to pass, that his Coach and his
Horses have been mentioned in all those Places. When the
Lowngers
leave an Academick Life, and instead of this more elegant way of
appearing in the polite World, retire to the Seats of their Ancestors,
they usually join a Pack of Dogs, and employ their Days in defending
their Poultry from Foxes: I do not know any other Method that any of
this Order has ever taken to make a Noise in the World; but I shall
enquire into such about this Town as have arrived at the Dignity of
being
Lowngers
by the Force of natural Parts, without having ever
seen an University; and send my Correspondent, for the Embellishment of
his Book, the Names and History of those who pass their Lives without
any Incidents at all; and how they shift Coffee-houses and
Chocolate-houses from Hour to Hour, to get over the insupportable Labour
of doing nothing.
R.
Socrates in his
Apology
, or
Defence
before his Judges, as
reported by Plato. The oracle having said that there was none wiser than
he, he had sought to confute the oracle, and found the wise man of the
world foolish through belief in his own wisdom.
'When I left him I reasoned thus with myself, I am wiser than this
man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but he
fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing, whereas I, as I
do not know anything, do not fancy that I do.'
True as Dial to the Sun,
Although it be not shined upon.
Hudibras
. Part III. c. 2.
This Letter may be by Laurence Eusden. See Note to
.
Contents
|
Thursday, May 3, 1711 |
Addison |
... Intus, et in jecore ægro
Nascuntur Domini ...
Pers.
translation
Most of the Trades, Professions, and Ways of Living among Mankind, take
their Original either from the Love of Pleasure or the Fear of Want. The
former, when it becomes too violent, degenerates into
Luxury
, and
the latter into
Avarice
. As these two Principles of Action draw
different Ways,
Persius
has given us a very humourous Account of
a young Fellow who was rouzed out of his Bed, in order to be sent upon a
long Voyage, by
Avarice
, and afterwards over-persuaded and kept
at Home by
Luxury
. I shall set down at length the Pleadings of
these two imaginary Persons, as they are in the Original with Mr.
Dryden's
Translation of them.
Mane, piger, stertis: surge, inquit Avaritia; eja
Surge. Negas, Instat, surge inquit. Non queo. Surge.
Et quid agam? Rogitas? Saperdas advehe Ponto,
Castoreum, stuppas, hebenum, thus, lubrica Coa.
Tolle recens primus piper è siliente camelo.
Verte aliquid; jura. Sed Jupiter Audiet. Eheu!
Baro, regustatum digito terebrare salinum
Contentus perages, si vivere cum Jove tendis.
Jam pueris pellem succinctus et ænophorum aptas;
Ocyus ad Navem. Nil obstat quin trabe vasta
Ægæum rapias, nisi solers Luxuria ante
Seductum moneat; quo deinde, insane ruis? Quo?
Quid tibi vis? Calido sub pectore mascula bilis
Intumuit, quam non extinxerit urna cicutæ?
Tun' mare transilias? Tibi torta cannabe fulto
Cœna sit in transtro? Veientanúmque rubellum
Exhalet vapida læsum pice sessilis obba?
Quid petis? Ut nummi, quos hic quincunce modesto
Nutrieras, pergant avidos sudare deunces?
Indulge genio: carpamus dulcia; nostrum est
Quod vivis; cinis, et manes, et fabula fies.
Vive memor lethi: fugit hora. Hoc quod loquor, inde est.
En quid agis? Duplici in diversum scinderis hamo.
Hunccine, an hunc sequeris! — —
Whether alone, or in thy Harlot's Lap,
When thou wouldst take a lazy Morning's Nap;
Up, up, says Avarice; thou snor'st again,
Stretchest thy Limbs, and yawn'st, but all in vain.
The rugged Tyrant no Denial takes;
At his Command th' unwilling Sluggard wakes.
What must I do? he cries; What? says his Lord:
Why rise, make ready, and go streight Aboard:
With Fish, from Euxine Seas, thy Vessel freight;
Flax, Castor, Coan Wines, the precious Weight
Of Pepper and Sabean Incense, take
With thy own Hands, from the tir'd Camel's Back,
And with Post-haste thy running Markets make.
Be sure to turn the Penny; Lye and Swear,
'Tis wholsome Sin: But Jove, thou say'st, will hear.
Swear, Fool, or Starve; for the Dilemma's even:
A Tradesman thou! and hope to go to Heav'n?
Resolv'd for Sea, the Slaves thy Baggage pack,
Each saddled with his Burden on his Back.
Nothing retards thy Voyage, now; but He,
That soft voluptuous Prince, call'd Luxury;
And he may ask this civil Question; Friend,
What dost thou make a Shipboard? To what End?
Art thou of Bethlem's noble College free?
Stark, staring mad, that thou wouldst tempt the Sea?
Cubb'd in a Cabbin, on a Mattress laid,
On a brown George, with lousy Swobbers fed;
Dead Wine, that stinks of the Borachio, sup
From a foul Jack, or greasy Maple Cup!
Say, wouldst thou bear all this, to raise the Store,
From Six i'th' Hundred to Six Hundred more?
Indulge, and to thy Genius freely give:
For, not to live at Ease, is not, to live:
Death stalks behind thee, and each flying Hour
Does some loose Remnant of thy Life devour.
Live, while thou liv'st; for Death will make us all,
A Name, a Nothing but an Old Wife's Tale.
Speak, wilt thou Avarice or Pleasure choose
To be thy Lord? Take one, and one refuse.
When a Government flourishes in Conquests, and is secure from foreign
Attacks, it naturally falls into all the Pleasures of Luxury; and as
these Pleasures are very expensive, they put those who are addicted to
them upon raising fresh Supplies of Mony, by all the Methods of
Rapaciousness and Corruption; so that Avarice and Luxury very often
become one complicated Principle of Action, in those whose Hearts are
wholly set upon Ease, Magnificence, and Pleasure.
most Elegant and
Correct of all the
Latin
Historians observes, that in his time,
when the most formidable States of the World were subdued by the
Romans
, the Republick sunk into those two Vices of a quite
different Nature, Luxury and Avarice
: And accordingly describes
Catiline
as one who coveted the Wealth of other Men, at the same
time that he squander'd away his own. This Observation on the
Commonwealth, when it was in its height of Power and Riches, holds good
of all Governments that are settled in a State of Ease and Prosperity.
At such times Men naturally endeavour to outshine one another in Pomp
and Splendor, and having no Fears to alarm them from abroad, indulge
themselves in the Enjoyment of all the Pleasures they can get into their
Possession; which naturally produces Avarice, and an immoderate Pursuit
after Wealth and Riches.
As I was humouring my self in the Speculation of these two great
Principles of Action, I could not forbear throwing my Thoughts into a
little kind of Allegory or Fable, with which I shall here present my
Reader.
There were two very powerful Tyrants engaged in a perpetual War against
each other: The Name of the first was
Luxury
, and of the second
Avarice
. The Aim of each of them was no less than Universal
Monarchy over the Hearts of Mankind.
Luxury
had many Generals
under him, who did him great Service, as
Pleasure
,
Mirth
,
Pomp
and
Fashion
.
Avarice
was likewise very strong
in his Officers, being faithfully served by
Hunger
,
Industry
,
Care
and
Watchfulness
: He had likewise a
Privy-Counsellor who was always at his Elbow, and whispering something
or other in his Ear: The Name of this Privy-Counsellor was
Poverty
. As
Avarice
conducted himself by the Counsels of
Poverty
, his Antagonist was entirely guided by the Dictates and
Advice of
Plenty
, who was his first Counsellor and Minister of
State, that concerted all his Measures for him, and never departed out
of his Sight. While these two great Rivals were thus contending for
Empire, their Conquests were very various.
Luxury
got Possession
of one Heart, and
Avarice
of another. The Father of a Family would
often range himself under the Banners of
Avarice
, and the Son under
those of
Luxury
. The Wife and Husband would often declare themselves
on the two different Parties; nay, the same Person would very often side
with one in his Youth, and revolt to the other in his old Age. Indeed
the Wise Men of the World stood
Neuter
; but alas! their Numbers were
not considerable. At length, when these two Potentates had wearied
themselves with waging War upon one another, they agreed upon an
Interview, at which neither of their Counsellors were to be present. It
is said that
Luxury
began the Parley, and after having represented the
endless State of War in which they were engaged, told his Enemy, with a
Frankness of Heart which is natural to him, that he believed they two
should be very good Friends, were it not for the Instigations of
Poverty
, that pernicious Counsellor, who made an ill use of his Ear,
and filled him with groundless Apprehensions and Prejudices. To this
Avarice
replied, that he looked upon
Plenty
(the first Minister of
his Antagonist) to be a much more destructive Counsellor than
Poverty
,
for that he was perpetually suggesting Pleasures, banishing all the
necessary Cautions against Want, and consequently undermining those
Principles on which the Government of
Avarice
was founded. At last, in
order to an Accommodation, they agreed upon this Preliminary; That each
of them should immediately dismiss his Privy-Counsellor. When things
were thus far adjusted towards a Peace, all other differences were soon
accommodated, insomuch that for the future they resolved to live as good
Friends and Confederates, and to share between them whatever Conquests
were made on either side. For this Reason, we now find
Luxury
and
Avarice
taking Possession of the same Heart, and dividing the same
Person between them. To which I shall only add, that since the
discarding of the Counsellors above-mentioned,
Avarice
supplies
Luxury
in the room of
Plenty
, as
Luxury
prompts
Avarice
in the
place of
Poverty
.
C.
Alieni appetens, sui profusus.
Sallust.
Contents
|
Friday, May 4, 1711 |
Addison |