,
and
Met
. I. 6, v. 556.
Contents
|
Friday, December 14, 1711 |
Steele |
Hoc maximè Officii est, ut quisque maximè opis indigeat, ita ei
potissimùm opitulari.
Tull.
translation
There are none who deserve Superiority over others in the Esteem of
Mankind, who do not make it their Endeavour to be beneficial to Society;
and who upon all Occasions which their Circumstances of Life can
administer, do not take a certain unfeigned Pleasure in conferring
Benefits of one kind or other. Those whose great Talents and high Birth
have placed them in conspicuous Stations of Life, are indispensably
obliged to exert some noble Inclinations for the Service of the World,
or else such Advantages become Misfortunes, and Shade and Privacy are a
more eligible Portion. Where Opportunities and Inclinations are given to
the same Person, we sometimes see sublime Instances of Virtue, which so
dazzle our Imaginations, that we look with Scorn on all which in lower
Scenes of Life we may our selves be able to practise. But this is a
vicious Way of Thinking; and it bears some Spice of romantick Madness,
for a Man to imagine that he must grow ambitious, or seek Adventures, to
be able to do great Actions. It is in every Man's Power in the World who
is above meer Poverty, not only to do Things worthy but heroick. The
great Foundation of civil Virtue is Self-Denial; and there is no one
above the Necessities of Life, but has Opportunities of exercising that
noble Quality, and doing as much as his Circumstances will bear for the
Ease and Convenience of other Men; and he who does more than ordinarily
Men practise upon such Occasions as occur in his Life, deserves the
Value of his Friends as if he had done Enterprizes which are usually
attended with the highest Glory.
of publick Spirit differ rather in
their Circumstances than their Virtue; and the Man who does all he can
in a low Station, is more
a
Hero than he who omits any worthy
Action he is able to accomplish in a great one. It is not many Years ago
since
Lapirius
, in Wrong of his elder Brother, came to a great Estate
by Gift of his Father, by reason of the dissolute Behaviour of the
First-born. Shame and Contrition reformed the Life of the disinherited
Youth, and he became as remarkable for his good Qualities as formerly
for his Errors.
Lapirius
, who observed his Brother's Amendment, sent
him on a New-Years Day in the Morning the following Letter:
Honoured Brother,
I enclose to you the Deeds whereby my Father gave me
this House and Land: Had he lived 'till now, he would not
have bestowed it in that Manner; he took it from the Man
you were, and I restore it to the Man you are. I am,
Sir,
Your affectionate Brother,
and humble Servant,
P. T.
As great and exalted Spirits undertake the Pursuit of hazardous Actions
for the Good of others, at the same Time gratifying their Passion for
Glory; so do worthy Minds in the domestick Way of Life deny themselves
many Advantages, to satisfy a generous Benevolence which they bear to
their Friends oppressed with Distresses and Calamities. Such Natures one
may call Stores of Providence, which are actuated by a secret Celestial
Influence to undervalue the ordinary Gratifications of Wealth, to give
Comfort to an Heart loaded with Affliction, to save a falling Family, to
preserve a Branch of Trade in their Neighbourhood, and give Work to the
Industrious, preserve the Portion of the helpless Infant, and raise the
Head of the mourning Father. People whose Hearts are wholly bent towards
Pleasure, or intent upon Gain, never hear of the noble Occurrences among
Men of Industry and Humanity. It would look like a City Romance, to tell
them of the generous
who the other Day sent this Billet to an
eminent Trader under Difficulties to support himself, in whose Fall many
hundreds besides himself had perished; but because I think there is more
Spirit and true Gallantry in it than in any Letter I have ever read from
Strepkon
to
Phillis
, I shall insert it even in the mercantile honest
Stile in which it was sent.
Sir,
'I Have heard of the Casualties which have involved you
in extreme Distress at this Time; and knowing you to be a
Man of great Good-Nature, Industry and Probity, have resolved
to stand by you. Be of good Chear, the Bearer brings with
him five thousand Pounds, and has my Order to answer your
drawing as much more on my Account. I did this in Haste,
for fear I should come too late for your Relief; but you may
value your self with me to the Sum of fifty thousand Pounds;
for I can very chearfully run the Hazard of being so much
less rich than I am now, to save an honest Man whom
I love.
Your Friend and Servant,
W. S.2
I think there is somewhere in
Montaigne
Mention made of a Family-book,
wherein all the Occurrences that happened from one Generation of that
House to another were recorded. Were there such a Method in the
Families, which are concerned in this Generosity, it would be an hard
Task for the greatest in
Europe
to give, in their own, an Instance of
a Benefit better placed, or conferred with a more graceful Air. It has
been heretofore urged, how barbarous and inhuman is any unjust Step made
to the Disadvantage of a Trader; and by how much such an Act towards him
is detestable, by so much an Act of Kindness towards him is laudable. I
remember to have heard a Bencher of the
Temple
tell a Story of a
Tradition in their House, where they had formerly a Custom of chusing
Kings for such a Season, and allowing him his Expences at the Charge of
the Society: One of our Kings, said my Friend, carried his Royal
Inclination a little too far, and there was a Committee ordered to look
into the Management of his Treasury. Among other Things it appeared,
that his Majesty walking
incog
, in the Cloister, had overheard a poor
Man say to another, Such a small Sum would make me the happiest Man in
the World. The King out of his Royal Compassion privately inquired into
his Character, and finding him a proper Object of Charity, sent him the
Money. When the Committee read their Report, the House passed his
Account with a Plaudite without further Examination, upon the Recital of
this Article in them.
| For making a Man happy: |
£ |
s. |
d. |
|
10 |
0 |
0 |
T.
an
W. P.
corrected by an Erratum in No.
to W.S.
Contents
|
Saturday, December 15, 1711 |
Addison |
Greek: Gélôs akairos en brotois deinòn kakòn.translation
When I make Choice of a Subject that has not been treated on by others,
I throw together my Reflections on it without any Order or Method, so
that they may appear rather in the Looseness and Freedom of an Essay,
than in the Regularity of a Set Discourse. It is after this Manner that
I shall consider Laughter and Ridicule in my present Paper.
Man is the merriest Species of the Creation, all above and below him are
Serious. He sees things in a different Light from other Beings, and
finds his Mirth
a
rising from Objects that perhaps cause something like
Pity or Displeasure in higher Natures. Laughter is indeed a very good
Counterpoise to the Spleen; and it seems but reasonable that we should
be capable of receiving Joy from what is no real Good to us, since we
can receive Grief from what is no real Evil.
I
in my [Volume 1 link:
] raised a Speculation on the Notion of a
Modern Philosopher
, who describes the first Motive of Laughter to be
a secret Comparison which we make between our selves, and the Persons we
laugh at; or, in other Words, that Satisfaction which we receive from
the Opinion of some Pre-eminence in our selves, when we see the
Absurdities of another or when we reflect on any past Absurdities of our
own. This seems to hold in most Cases, and we may observe that the
vainest Part of Mankind are the most addicted to this Passion.
I have read a Sermon of a Conventual in the Church of
Rome
, on those
Words of the Wise Man,
I said of Laughter, it is mad; and of Mirth,
what does it?
Upon which he laid it down as a Point of Doctrine, that
Laughter was the Effect of Original Sin, and that
Adam
could not laugh
before the Fall.
Laughter, while it lasts, slackens and unbraces the Mind, weakens the
Faculties, and causes a kind of Remissness and Dissolution in all the
Powers of the Soul: And thus far it may be looked upon as a Weakness in
the Composition of Human Nature. But if we consider the frequent Reliefs
we receive from it, and how often it breaks the Gloom which is apt to
depress the Mind and damp our Spirits, with transient unexpected Gleams
of Joy, one would take care not to grow too Wise for so great a Pleasure
of Life.
The Talent of turning Men into Ridicule, and exposing to Laughter those
one converses with, is the Qualification of little ungenerous Tempers. A
young Man with this Cast of Mind cuts himself off from all manner of
Improvement. Every one has his Flaws and Weaknesses; nay, the greatest
Blemishes are often found in the most shining Characters; but what an
absurd Thing is it to pass over all the valuable Parts of a Man, and fix
our Attention on his Infirmities to observe his Imperfections more than
his Virtues; and to make use of him for the Sport of others, rather than
for our own Improvement?
We therefore very often find, that Persons the most accomplished in
Ridicule are those who are very shrewd at hitting a Blot, without
exerting any thing masterly in themselves. As there are many eminent
Criticks who never writ a good Line, there are many admirable Buffoons
that animadvert upon every single Defect in another, without ever
discovering the least Beauty of their own. By this Means, these unlucky
little Wits often gain Reputation in the Esteem of Vulgar Minds, and
raise themselves above Persons of much more laudable Characters.
If the Talent of Ridicule were employed to laugh Men out of Vice and
Folly, it might be of some Use to the World; but instead of this, we
find that it is generally made use of to laugh Men out of Virtue and
good Sense, by attacking every thing that is Solemn and Serious, Decent
and Praiseworthy in Human Life.
We may observe, that in the First Ages of the World, when the great
Souls and Master-pieces of Human Nature were produced, Men shined by a
noble Simplicity of Behaviour, and were Strangers to those little
Embellishments which are so fashionable in our present Conversation. And
it is very remarkable, that notwithstanding we fall short at present of
the Ancients in Poetry, Painting, Oratory, History, Architecture, and
all the noble Arts and Sciences which depend more upon Genius than
Experience, we exceed them as much in Doggerel, Humour, Burlesque, and
all the trivial Arts of Ridicule. We meet with more Raillery among the
Moderns, but more Good Sense among the Ancients.
The two great Branches of Ridicule in Writing are Comedy and Burlesque.
The first ridicules Persons by drawing them in their proper Characters,
the other by drawing them quite unlike themselves. Burlesque is
therefore of two kinds; the first represents mean Persons in the
Accoutrements of Heroes, the other describes great Persons acting and
speaking like the basest among the People.
Don Quixote
is an Instance
of the first, and
Lucian's
Gods of the second. It is a
among
the Criticks, whether Burlesque Poetry runs best in Heroick Verse, like
that of the
Dispensary;
or in Doggerel, like that of
Hudibras
. I
think where the low Character is to be raised, the Heroick is the proper
Measure; but when an Hero is to be pulled down and degraded, it is done
best in Doggerel.
If
Hudibras
had been set out with as much Wit and Humour in Heroick
Verse as he is in Doggerel, he would have made a much more agreeable
Figure than he does; though the generality of his Readers are so
wonderfully pleased with the double Rhimes, that I do not expect many
will be of my Opinion in this Particular.
I shall conclude this Essay upon Laughter with observing that the
Metaphor of Laughing, applied to Fields and Meadows when they are in
Flower, or to Trees when they are in Blossom, runs through all
Languages; which I have not observed of any other Metaphor, excepting
that of Fire and Burning when they are applied to Love. This shews that
we naturally regard Laughter, as what is in it self both amiable and
beautiful. For this Reason likewise
Venus
has gained the Title of
Greek: Philomeídaes
the Laughter-loving Dame, as
Waller
has
Translated it, and is represented by
Horace
as the Goddess who
delights in Laughter.
Milton
,
a joyous Assembly of imaginary
Persons
, has given us a very Poetical Figure of Laughter.
whole
Band of Mirth is so finely described, that I shall
set
down
the
Passage
at length.
But come thou Goddess fair and free,
In Heaven yeleped Euphrosyne,
And by Men, heart-easing Mirth,
Whom lovely Venus at a Birth,
With two Sister Graces more,
To Ivy-crowned Bacchus bore:
Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee
Jest and youthful jollity,
Quips and Cranks, and wanton Wiles,
Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles,
Such as hang on Hebe's Cheek,
And love to live in Dimple sleek:
Sport that wrinkled Care derides,
And Laughter holding both his Sides.
Come, and trip it, as you go,
On the light fantastick Toe:
And in thy right Hand lead with thee
The Mountain Nymph, sweet Liberty;
And if I give thee Honour due,
Mirth, admit me of thy Crew,
To live with her, and live with thee,
In unreproved Pleasures free.
C.
Hobbes.
Sir Samuel Garth, poet and physician, who was alive at this
time (died in 1719), satirized a squabble among the doctors in his poem
of
the Dispensary
.
The piercing Caustics ply their spiteful Pow'r;
Emetics ranch, and been Cathartics sour.
The deadly Drugs in double Doses fly;
And Pestles peal a martial Symphony.
L'Allegro
.
set it
Contents
|
Monday, December 17, 1711 |
|
Disce docendus adhuc, quæ censet amiculus, ut si
Cæcus iter monstrare velit; tamen aspice si quid
Et nos, quod cures proprium fecisse, loquamur.
Hor.
translation
Mr.
Spectator,
'You see the Nature of my Request by the
Latin Motto which I address
to you. I am very sensible I ought not to use many Words to you, who
are one of but few; but the following Piece, as it relates to
Speculation in Propriety of Speech, being a Curiosity in its Kind,
begs your Patience. It was found in a Poetical Virtuoso's Closet among
his Rarities; and since the several Treatises of Thumbs, Ears, and
Noses, have obliged the World, this of Eyes is at your Service.
'The first Eye of Consequence (under the invisible Author of all) is
the visible Luminary of the Universe. This glorious Spectator is said
never to open his Eyes at his Rising in a Morning, without having a
whole Kingdom of Adorers in
Persian Silk waiting at his Levée.
Millions of Creatures derive their Sight from this Original, who,
besides his being the great Director of Opticks, is the surest Test
whether Eyes be of the same Species with that of an Eagle, or that of
an Owl: The one he emboldens with a manly Assurance to look, speak,
act or plead before the Faces of a numerous Assembly; the other he
dazzles out of Countenance into a sheepish Dejectedness. The Sun-Proof
Eye dares lead up a Dance in a full Court; and without blinking at the
Lustre of Beauty, can distribute an Eye of proper Complaisance to a
Room crowded with Company, each of which deserves particular Regard;
while the other sneaks from Conversation, like a fearful Debtor, who
never dares
to look out, but when he can see no body, and no body
him.
The next Instance of Opticks is the famous
Argus, who (to speak in
the Language of
Cambridge) was one of an Hundred; and being used as
a Spy in the Affairs of Jealousy, was obliged to have all his Eyes
about him. We have no Account of the particular Colours, Casts and
Turns of this Body of Eyes; but as he was Pimp for his Mistress
Juno, 'tis probable he used all the modern Leers, sly Glances, and
other ocular Activities to serve his Purpose. Some look upon him as
the then King at Arms to the Heathenish Deities; and make no more of
his Eyes than as so many Spangles of his Herald's Coat.
The
next upon the Optick List is old
Janus, who stood in a
double-sighted Capacity, like a Person placed betwixt two opposite
Looking-Glasses, and so took a sort of retrospective Cast at one View.
Copies of this double-faced Way are not yet out of Fashion with many
Professions, and the ingenious Artists pretend to keep up this Species
by double-headed Canes and Spoons
1; but there is no Mark of this
Faculty, except in the emblematical Way of a wise General having an
Eye to both Front and Rear, or a pious Man taking a Review and
Prospect of his past and future State at the same Time.
I must own, that the Names, Colours, Qualities, and Turns of Eyes vary
almost in every Head; for, not to mention the common Appellations of
the Black, the Blue, the White, the Gray, and the like; the most
remarkable are those that borrow their Title
s from Animals, by
Vertue of some particular Quality or Resemblance they bear to the Eyes
of the respective Creature
s; as that of a greedy rapacious Aspect
takes its Name from the Cat, that of a sharp piercing Nature from the
Hawk, those of an amorous roguish Look derive their Title even from
the Sheep, and we say such a
n one has a Sheep's Eye, not so much to
denote the Innocence as the simple Slyness of the Cast: Nor is this
metaphorical Inoculation a modern Invention, for we find
Homer
taking the Freedom to place the Eye of an Ox, Bull, or Cow in one of
his principal Goddesses, by that frequent Expression of
Now as to the peculiar Qualities of the Eye, that fine Part of our
Constitution seems as much the Receptacle and Seat of our Passions,
Appetites and Inclinations as the Mind it self; and at least it is the
outward Portal to introduce them to the House within, or rather the
common Thorough-fare to let our Affections pass in and out. Love, Anger, Pride, and Avarice, all visibly
move in those little Orbs. I know a young Lady that can't see a certain
Gentleman pass by without shewing a secret Desire of seeing him again by
a Dance in her Eye-balls; nay, she can't for the Heart of her help
looking Half a Street's Length after any Man in a gay Dress. You can't
behold a covetous Spirit walk by a Goldsmith's Shop without casting a
wistful Eye at the Heaps upon the Counter. Does not a haughty Person
shew the Temper of his Soul in the supercilious Rowl of his Eye? and how
frequently in the Height of Passion does that moving Picture in our Head
start and stare, gather a Redness and quick Flashes of Lightning, and
make all its Humours sparkle with Fire,
as Virgil finely describes it.
—Ardentis ab ore
Scintillæ absistunt: oculis micat acribus ignis.3
As for the various Turns of
the Eye-sight, such as the voluntary or
involuntary, the half or the whole Leer, I shall not enter into a very
particular Account of them; but let me observe, that oblique Vision,
when natural, was anciently the Mark of Bewitchery and magical
Fascination, and to this Day 'tis a malignant ill Look; but when 'tis
forced and affected it carries a wanton Design, and in Play-houses,
and other publick Places, this ocular Intimation is often an
Assignation for bad Practices: But this Irregularity in Vision,
together with such Enormities as Tipping the Wink, the Circumspective
Rowl, the Side-peep through a thin Hood or Fan, must be put in the
Class of Heteropticks, as all wrong Notions of Religion are ranked
under the general Name of Heterodox. All the pernicious Applications
of Sight are more immediately under the Direction of a
Spectator; and
I hope you will arm your Readers against the Mischiefs which are daily
done by killing Eyes, in which you will highly oblige your wounded
unknown Friend,
T. B.
Mr.
Spectator,
You professed in several Papers your particular Endeavours in the
Province of
Spectator, to correct the Offences committed by Starers,
who disturb whole Assemblies without any Regard to Time, Place or
Modesty. You complained also, that a Starer is not usually a Person to
be convinced by Reason of the Thing, nor so easily rebuked, as to
amend by Admonitions. I thought therefore fit to acquaint you with a
convenient Mechanical Way, which may easily prevent or correct
Staring, by an Optical Contrivance of new Perspective-Glasses, short
and commodious like Opera Glasses, fit for short-sighted People as
well as others, these Glasses making the Objects appear, either as
they are seen by the naked Eye, or more distinct, though somewhat less
than Life, or bigger and nearer. A Person may, by the Help of this
Invention, take a View of another without the Impertinence of Staring;
at the same Time it shall not be possible to know whom or what he is
looking at. One may look towards his Right or Left Hand, when he is
supposed to look forwards: This is set forth at large in the printed
Proposals for the Sale of these Glasses, to be had at Mr.
Dillon's
in
Long-Acre, next Door to the
White-Hart. Now, Sir, as your
Spectator has occasioned the Publishing of this Invention for the
Benefit of modest Spectators, the Inventor desires your Admonitions
concerning the decent Use of it; and hopes, by your Recommendation,
that for the future Beauty may be beheld without the Torture and
Confusion which it suffers from the Insolence of Starers. By this
means you will relieve the Innocent from an Insult which there is no
Law to punish, tho' it is a greater Offence than many which are within
the Cognizance of Justice.
I am,
Sir,
Your most humble Servant,
Abraham Spy.
Q.
Apostle spoons and others with fancy heads upon their handles.
The ox-eyed, venerable Juno.
Æn. 12, v. 101.
Contents
|
Tuesday, December 18, 1711 |
Addison |
Lingua centum sunt, oraque centum.
Ferrea Vox.
Virgil.
translation
There is nothing which more astonishes a Foreigner, and frights a
Country Squire, than the
Cries of London
. My good Friend Sir
Roger
often declares, that he cannot get them out of his Head or go to Sleep
for them, the first Week that he is in Town. On the contrary,
Will.
Honeycomb
calls them the
Ramage de la Ville
, and prefers them to the
Sounds of Larks and Nightingales, with all the Musick of the Fields and
Woods. I have lately received a Letter from some very odd Fellow upon
this Subject, which I shall leave with my Reader, without saying any
thing further of it.
Sir,
"I am a Man of all Business, and would willingly turn my Head to any
thing for an honest Livelihood. I have invented several Projects for
raising many Millions of Money without burthening the Subject, but I
cannot get the Parliament to listen to me, who look upon me, forsooth,
as a Crack, and a Projector; so that despairing to enrich either my
self or my Country by this Publick-spiritedness, I
would make some
Proposals to you relating to a Design which I have very much at Heart,
and which may procure me
a1 handsome Subsistence, if you will be
pleased to recommend it to the Cities of
Londonand
Westminster.
The Post I would aim at, is to be Comptroller-General of the
London
Cries, which are at present under no manner of Rules or Discipline. I
think I am pretty well qualified for this Place, as being a Man of
very strong Lungs, of great Insight into all the Branches of our
BritishTrades and Manufactures, and of a competent Skill in Musick.
The Cries of
Londonmay be divided into Vocal and Instrumental. As
for the latter they are at present under a very great Disorder. A
Freeman of
Londonhas the Privilege of disturbing a whole Street for
an Hour together, with the Twanking of a Brass-Kettle or a Frying-Pan.
The Watchman's Thump at Midnight startles us in our Beds, as much as
the Breaking in of a Thief. The Sowgelder's Horn has indeed something
musical in it, but this is seldom heard within the Liberties. I would
therefore propose, that no Instrument of this Nature should be made
use of, which I have not tuned and licensed, after having carefully
examined in what manner it may affect the Ears of her Majesty's liege
Subjects.
Vocal Cries are of a much larger Extent, and indeed so full of
Incongruities and Barbarisms, that we appear a distracted City to
Foreigners, who do not comprehend the Meaning of such enormous
Outcries.
Milk is generally sold in a note above
Ela, and in Sounds
so
exceeding2 shrill, that it often sets our Teeth
on3 Edge.
The Chimney-sweeper is
confined4 to no certain
Pitch; he sometimes utters himself in the deepest Base, and sometimes
in the sharpest Treble; sometimes in the highest, and sometimes in the
lowest Note of the Gamut. The same Observation might be made on the
Retailers of Small-coal, not to mention broken Glasses or Brick-dust.
In these therefore, and the like Cases, it should be my Care to
sweeten and mellow the Voices of these itinerant Tradesmen, before
they make their Appearance in our Streets; as also to accommodate
their Cries to their respective Wares; and to take care in particular,
that those may not make the most Noise who have the least to sell,
which is very observable in the Venders of Card-matches, to whom I
cannot but apply that old Proverb of
Much Cry but little Wool.
'Some of these last mentioned Musicians are so very loud in the Sale
of these trifling Manufactures, that an honest Splenetick Gentleman of
my Acquaintance bargained with one of them never to come into the
Street where he lived: But what was the Effect of this Contract? Why,
the whole Tribe of Card-match-makers which frequent that Quarter,
passed by his Door the very next Day, in hopes of being bought off
after the same manner.
'It is another great Imperfection in our
LondonCries, that there is
no just Time nor Measure observed in them. Our News should indeed be
published in a very quick Time, because it is a Commodity that will
not keep cold. It should not, however, be cried with the same
Precipitation as Fire: Yet this is generally the Case. A Bloody Battle
alarms the Town from one End to another in an Instant. Every Motion of
the
Frenchis Published in so great a Hurry, that one would think
the Enemy were at our Gates. This likewise I would take upon me to
regulate in such a manner, that there should be some Distinction made
between the spreading of a Victory, a March, or an Incampment, a
Dutch, a
Portugalor a
SpanishMail. Nor must I omit under this
Head, those excessive Alarms with which several boisterous Rusticks
infest our Streets in Turnip Season; and which are more inexcusable,
because these are Wares which are in no Danger of Cooling upon their
Hands.
'There are others who affect a very slow Time, and are, in my Opinion,
much more tuneable than the former; the Cooper in particular swells
his last Note in an hollow Voice, that is not without its Harmony; nor
can I forbear being inspired with a most agreeable Melancholy, when I
hear that sad and solemn Air with which the Public are very often
asked, if they have any Chairs to mend? Your own Memory may suggest to
you many other lamentable Ditties of the same Nature, in which the
Musick is wonderfully languishing and melodious.
'I
am always pleased with that particular Time of the Year which is
proper for the pickling of Dill and Cucumbers; but alas, this Cry,
like the Song of the
Nightingale5, is not heard above two Months.
It would therefore be worth while to consider, whether the same Air
might not in some Cases be adapted to other Words.
'It might likewise deserve our most serious Consideration, how far, in
a well-regulated City, those Humourists are to be tolerated, who, not
contented with the traditional Cries of their Forefathers, have
invented particular Songs and Tunes of their own: Such as was, not
many Years since, the Pastryman, commonly known by the Name of the
Colly-Molly-Puff; and such as is at this Day the Vender of Powder and
Wash-balls, who, if I am rightly informed, goes under the Name of
Powder-Watt.
'I must not here omit one particular Absurdity which runs through this
whole vociferous Generation, and which renders their Cries very often
not only incommodious, but altogether useless to the Publick; I mean,
that idle Accomplishment which they all of them aim at, of Crying so
as not to be understood. Whether or no they have learned this from
several of our affected Singers, I will not take upon me to say; but
most certain it is, that People know the Wares they deal in rather by
their Tunes than by their Words; insomuch that I have sometimes seen a
Country Boy run out to buy Apples of a Bellows-mender, and Gingerbread
from a Grinder of Knives and Scissars. Nay so strangely infatuated are
some very eminent Artists of this particular Grace in a Cry, that none
but then Acquaintance are able to guess at their Profession; for who
else can know, that
Work if I had it, should be the Signification of
a Corn-Cutter?
'Forasmuch therefore as Persons of this Rank are seldom Men of Genius
or Capacity, I think it would be very proper, that some Man of good
Sense and sound Judgment should preside over these Publick Cries, who
should permit none to lift up their Voices in our Streets, that have
not tuneable Throats, and are not only able to overcome the Noise of
the Croud, and the Rattling of Coaches, but also to vend their
respective Merchandizes in apt Phrases, and in the most distinct and
agreeable Sounds. I do therefore humbly recommend my self as a Person
rightly qualified for this Post; and if I meet with fitting
Encouragement, shall communicate some other Projects which I have by
me, that may no less conduce to the Emolument of the Public.'
I am
Sir, &c.,
Ralph Crotchet.