For a dinner not at home

Accepting

Regretting

Or the reply may follow the letter form:

Accepting

640 West Seventy-Second Street,

March 16, 1920.

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson accept with pleasure Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.

Regretting

640 West Seventy-Second Street

March 16, 1920.

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson regret sincerely their inability to accept Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.

These acknowledgments, being formal, are written in the third person and must be sent within twenty-four hours.

Dinner "to meet"

If the dinner or luncheon is given to meet a person of importance or a friend from out of town, the purpose should appear in the body of the invitation, thus:

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
Mr. and Mrs. Trent's
Company at Dinner
on Thursday, November the Ninth
at Eight o'Clock
to Meet Mr. William H. Allen

To a formal luncheon

Accepting

Regretting

For the reception

Afternoon receptions and "At Homes" for which engraved invitations are sent out are practically the same as formal "teas."

An invitation is engraved as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
At Home
Wednesday Afternoon, September Fourth
from Four until Half-Past Seven o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue

These cards are sent out by mail in a single envelope about two weeks or ten days before the event.

The recipient of such a card is not required to send either a written acceptance or regret. One accepts by attending the "At Home." If one does not accept, the visiting card should be sent by mail so that it will reach the hostess on the day of the reception.

Where an answer is explicitly required, then the reply may be as follows:

Accepting

Mrs. John Evans
accepts with pleasure
Mrs. Emerson's
kind invitation for Wednesday afternoon
November the twenty-eighth

Regretting

Mrs. John Evans
regrets that she is unable to accept
Mrs. Emerson's
kind invitation for Wednesday afternoon
November the twenty-eighth

Mrs. John Evans
regrets that she is
unable to be present at
Mrs. Emerson's
At home on Wednesday afternoon
November the twenty-eighth

Reception "to meet"

(A)

Mrs. Bruce Wellington
Requests the Pleasure of
Mrs. Evans's
Presence on Thursday Afternoon, April Fifth
to Meet the Board of Governors
of the
Door-of-Hope Society
from Four-Thirty to Seven o'Clock

Accepting

Mrs. John Evans
accepts with pleasure
Mrs. Wellington's
kind invitation to meet
The Board of Governors
of the
Door-of-Hope Society
On Thursday afternoon, April fifth

Regretting:

Mrs. John Evans
regrets that a previous engagement
prevents her from accepting
Mrs. Wellington's
kind invitation to meet
The Board of Governors of the Door-of-Hope Society
On Thursday afternoon, April fifth

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
to Meet
General and Mrs. Robert E. Lee
on Thursday Afternoon, February Fourth
from Four until Seven o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue

If one accepts this invitation, one acknowledges simply by attending. If one is unable to attend, then the visiting card is mailed. If unforeseen circumstances should prevent attending, then a messenger is sent with a card in an envelope to the hostess, to reach her during the reception.

Invitations for afternoon affairs

For afternoon affairs—at homes, teas, garden parties—the invitations are sent out in the name of the hostess alone, or if there be a daughter, or daughters, in society, their names will appear immediately below the name of the hostess.

Mrs. John Evans
The Misses Evans
At Home
Thursday Afternoon, January Eleventh
from Four until Seven o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue

If the purpose of the reception is to introduce a daughter, her name would appear immediately below that of the hostess, as "Miss Evans," without Christian name or initial. If a second daughter is to be introduced at the tea, her name in full is added beneath that of the hostess:

Mrs. John Evans
Miss Ruth Evans
Miss Evans
At Home
Friday Afternoon, January Twentieth
from Four until Seven o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue

For balls and dances

The word "ball" is used for an assembly or a charity dance, never otherwise. An invitation to a private house bears "Dancing" or "Cotillion" in one corner of the card. This ball or formal dance invitation is engraved on a white card, sometimes with a blank space so that the guest's name may be written in by the hostess. It would read thus:

(A)

(B)

An older style of invitation—without the blank for the written name, but instead the word "your" engraved upon the card—is in perfectly good form. The invitation would be like this:

(C)

Accepting

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
accept with pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Elliott's
very kind invitation to a cotillion
to be held at the Hotel Ritz-Carlton
On Saturday, December the third
at ten o'clock

Regretting

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
regret exceedingly that they
are unable to accept
Mr. and Mrs. Elliott's
kind invitation to attend a dance
on Saturday, January the sixth

In sending a regret the hour is omitted, as, since the recipient will not be present, the time is unimportant.

(D)

The Honour of Your Presence
Is Requested at the Lincoln's Birthday Eve Ball
of the Dark Hollow Country Club
on Monday Evening, February Eleventh
at Half-Past Ten o'Clock
1922

Accepting

Miss Evans accepts with pleasure
the kind invitation of the Dark Hollow Country Club
for Monday evening, February eleventh
at half-past ten o'clock

For christenings

Christenings are sometimes made formal. In such case engraved cards are sent out two or three weeks ahead. A good form is:

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Brewster
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
at the Christening of Their Son
on Sunday Afternoon, April Seventeenth
At Three o'clock
at the Church of the Redeemer

Accepting

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliot
accept with pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Brewster's
kind invitation to attend
the christening of their son
on Sunday afternoon, April seventeenth
at three o'clock

A reason for not accepting may or may not be given—it is better to put in a reason if you have one.

Regretting

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott
regret that a previous engagement
prevents their accepting
Mr. and Mrs. Brewster's
kind invitation to the christening of their son
on Sunday afternoon, April seventeenth

INFORMAL INVITATIONS

For a wedding

An engraved invitation always implies a somewhat large or elaborate formal function. An informal affair requires simply a written invitation in the first person.

The informal wedding is one to which are invited only the immediate family and intimate friends. The reason may be simply the desire for a small, quiet affair or it may be a recent bereavement. The bride-to-be generally writes these invitations. The form may be something like this:

(A)

June 2, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

On Wednesday, June the twelfth, at three o'clock Mr. Brewster and I are to be married. The ceremony will be at home and we are asking only a few close friends. I hope that you and Mr. Smith will be able to come.

Yours very sincerely,

Dorothy Evans.

(B)

June 16, 1922.

Dear Mary,

Owing to the recent death of my sister, Mr. Brewster and I are to be married quietly at home. The wedding will be on Wednesday, June the twentieth, at eleven o'clock. We are asking only a few intimate friends and I shall be so glad if you will come.

Sincerely yours,

Dorothy Evans.

Accepting

June 7, 1922.

Dear Dorothy,

We shall be delighted to attend your wedding on Wednesday, June the twelfth, at three o'clock.

We wish you and Mr. Brewster every happiness.

Sincerely yours,

Helen Gray Smith.

Regretting

June 4, 1922.

Dear Dorothy,

I am so sorry that I shall be unable to attend your wedding. The "Adriatic" is sailing on the tenth and Father and I have engaged passage.

Let me wish you and Mr. Brewster every happiness.

Sincerely yours,

Mary Lyman.

For dinners and luncheons

An informal invitation to dinner is sent by the wife, for her husband and herself, to the wife. This invitation must include the latter's husband. It is simply a friendly note. The wife signs her Christian name, her maiden name (or more usually the initial of her maiden name), and her married name.

Five Hundred Park Avenue,

December 5th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Trent,

Will you and Mr. Trent give us the pleasure of your company at a small dinner on Tuesday, December the twelfth, at seven o'clock?

I hope you will not be otherwise engaged on that evening as we are looking forward to seeing you.

Very sincerely yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

To cancel an informal dinner invitation

My dear Mrs. Trent,

On account of the sudden death of my brother, I regret to be obliged to recall the invitation for our dinner on Tuesday, December the twelfth.

Sincerely yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

December 8, 1922.

Accepting

788 East Forty-Sixth Street,

December 7th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Mr. Trent and I will be very glad to dine with you on Tuesday, December the twelfth, at seven o'clock.

With kind regards, I am

Very sincerely yours,

Charlotte B. Trent

Regretting

788 East Forty-Sixth Street,

December 7th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

We regret deeply that we cannot accept your kind invitation to dine with you on Tuesday, December the twelfth. Mr. Trent and I, unfortunately, have a previous engagement for that evening.

With cordial regards, I am

Yours very sincerely,

Charlotte B. Trent.

The daughter as hostess

When a daughter must act as hostess in her father's home, she includes his name in every dinner invitation she issues, as in the following:

340 Madison Avenue,

January 2, 1921.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Father wishes me to ask whether you and Mr. Evans will give us the pleasure of dining with us on Wednesday, January the fifteenth, at quarter past seven o'clock. We do hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours,

Edith Haines.

The answer to this invitation of a daughter-hostess must be sent to the daughter, not to the father.

Accepting

My dear Miss Haines,

We shall be delighted to accept your father's kind invitation to dine with you on Wednesday, January the fifteenth, at quarter past seven o'clock.

With most cordial wishes, I am

Very sincerely yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

January 5, 1922

Regretting

My dear Miss Haines,

We regret exceedingly that we cannot accept your father's kind invitation to dine with you on Wednesday, January the fifteenth. A previous engagement of Mr. Evans prevents it. Will you convey to him our thanks?

Very sincerely yours,

Katherine Gerard Evans.

January 5, 1922.

Adding additional details

The invitation to an informal dinner may necessarily include some additional details. For example:

Five Hundred Park Avenue,

September 16, 1920.

My dear Mr. Allen,

Mr. Evans and I have just returned from Canada and we hear that you are in New York for a short visit. We should like to have you take dinner with us on Friday, the twentieth, at half-past seven o'clock, if your time will permit. We hope you can arrange to come as there are many things back home in old Sharon that we are anxious to hear about.

Yours very sincerely,

Katherine Gerard Evans.

Mr. Roger Allen

Hotel Gotham

New York

Accepting

Hotel Gotham,

September 17, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I shall be very glad to accept your kind invitation to dinner on Friday, September the twentieth, at half-past seven o'clock.

The prospect of seeing you and Mr. Evans again is very delightful and I am sure I have several interesting things to tell you.

Yours very sincerely,

Roger Allen.

Mrs. John Evans

500 Park Avenue

New York

Regretting

Hotel Gotham,

September 16, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I am sorry to miss the pleasure of accepting your kind invitation to dinner on Friday, September the twentieth.

A business engagement compels me to leave New York to-morrow. There are indeed many interesting bits of news, but I shall have to wait for a chat until my next visit.

With kindest regards to you both, I am

Very sincerely yours,

Roger Allen.

Mrs. John Evans

500 Park Avenue

New York

A last-moment vacancy:

A last-moment vacancy may occur in a dinner party. To send an invitation to fill such a vacancy is a matter requiring tact, and the recipient should be made to feel that you are asking him to fill in as a special courtesy. Frankly explain the situation in a short note. It might be something like this:

500 Park Avenue,

February 16, 1922.

My dear Mr. Jarrett,

Will you help me out? I am giving a little dinner party to-morrow evening and one of my guests, Harry Talbot, has just told me that on account of a sudden death he cannot be present. It is an awkward situation. If you can possibly come, I shall be very grateful.

Cordially yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

Mr. Harold Jarrett

628 Washington Square South

New York

Accepting

628 Washington Square South,

February 16, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

It is indeed a fortunate circumstance for me that Harry Talbot will not be able to attend your dinner. Let me thank you for thinking of me and I shall be delighted to accept.

Yours very sincerely,

Harold Jarrett.

If the recipient of such an invitation cannot accept, he should, in his acknowledgment, give a good reason for declining. It is more considerate to do so.

For an informal luncheon

An informal luncheon invitation is a short note sent about five to seven days before the affair.

500 Park Avenue,

April 30,1922.

My dear Mrs. Emerson,

Will you come to luncheon on Friday, May the fifth, at half-past one o'clock? The Misses Irving will be here and they want so much to meet you.

Cordially yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

Accepting

911 Sutton Place,

May 2, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I shall be very glad to take luncheon with you on Friday, May the fifth, at half-past one o'clock. It will be a great pleasure to meet the Misses Irving.

With best wishes, I am

Yours sincerely,

Grace Emerson.

Regretting

911 Sutton Place,

May 2, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Thank you for your very kind invitation to luncheon on Friday, May the fifth, but I am compelled, with great regret, to decline it.

My mother and aunt are sailing for Europe on Friday and their ship is scheduled to sail at one. I have arranged to see them off. It was good of you to ask me.

Very sincerely yours,

Grace Emerson.

For an informal tea

My dear Miss Harcourt,

Will you come to tea with me on Tuesday afternoon, April the fourth, at four o'clock? I have asked a few of our friends.

Cordially yours,

Katherine Gerard Evans.

April first

Telephone invitations are not good form and may be used only for the most informal occasions.

Invitations to the theatre, concert, and garden party, are mostly informal affairs and are sent as brief letters.

A garden party is a sort of out-of-doors at home.

To a garden party which is not formal or elaborate

Locust Lawn,

June 29, 1922.

My dear Miss Burton,

Will you come to tea with me informally on the lawn on Thursday afternoon, July the fourth, at four o'clock? I know you always enjoy tennis and I have asked a few enthusiasts. Do try to come.

Cordially yours,

Ruth L. Anson.

Such an invitation is acknowledged in kind—by an informal note.

It may be of interest to read a letter or two from distinguished persons along these lines. Here, for example, is the delightfully informal way in which Thomas Bailey Aldrich invited his friend William H. Rideing to dinner on one occasion:[1]

April 6, 1882.

Dear Rideing:

Will you come and take an informal bite with me to-morrow (Friday) at 6 p. m. at my hamlet, No. 131 Charles Street? Mrs. Aldrich and the twins are away from home, and the thing is to be sans ceremonie. Costume prescribed: Sack coat, paper collar, and celluloid sleeve buttons. We shall be quite alone, unless Henry James should drop in, as he promises to do if he gets out of an earlier engagement.

Suppose you drop in at my office to-morrow afternoon about 5 o'clock and I act as pilot to Charles Street.

Yours very truly,

T. B. Aldrich.

And one from James Russell Lowell to Henry W. Longfellow:[2]

Elmwood, May 3, 1876.

Dear Longfellow:

Will you dine with me on Saturday at six? I have a Baltimore friend coming, and depend on you.

I had such a pleasure yesterday that I should like to share it with you to whom I owed it. J. R. Osgood & Co. sent me a copy of your Household Edition to show me what it was, as they propose one of me. I had been reading over with dismay my own poems to weed out the misprints, and was awfully disheartened to find how bad they (the poems) were. Then I took your book to see what the type was, and before I knew it I had been reading two hours and more. I never wondered at your popularity, nor thought it wicked in you; but if I had wondered, I should no longer, for you sang me out of all my worries. To be sure they came back when I opened my own book again—but that was no fault of yours.

If not Saturday, will you say Sunday? My friend is a Mrs. ——, and a very nice person indeed.

Yours always,

J. R. L.

George Meredith ("Robin") accepting an informal dinner invitation from his friend, William Hardman ("Tuck"):[3]

Jan'y 28, 1863.

Dear "at any price" Tuck:

I come. Dinner you give me at half-past five, I presume. A note to Foakesden, if earlier. Let us have 5 ms. for a pipe, before we go. You know we are always better tempered when this is the case. I come in full dress. And do the honour to the Duke's motto. I saw my little man off on Monday, after expedition over Bank and Tower. Thence to Pym's, Poultry: oysters consumed by dozings. Thence to Purcell's: great devastation of pastry. Thence to Shoreditch, where Sons calmly said: "Never mind, Papa; it is no use minding it. I shall soon be back to you," and so administered comfort to his forlorn Dad.—My salute to the Conquered One, and I am your loving, hard-druv, much be-bullied

Robin.

To a theatre

347 Madison Avenue,

December 8, 1919.

My dear Miss Evans,

Mr. Smith and I are planning a small party of friends to see "The Mikado" on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth, and we hope that you will be among our guests.

We have arranged to meet in the lobby of the Garrick Theatre at quarter after eight o'clock. I do hope you have no other engagement.

Very cordially yours,

Gertrude Ellison Smith.

Accepting

My dear Mrs. Smith,

I shall be delighted to come to your theatre party on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth. I shall be in the lobby of the Garrick Theatre at a quarter past eight o'clock.

It is so kind of you to ask me.

Sincerely yours,

Ruth Evans.

December 12,1919.

Regretting

My dear Mrs. Smith,

With great regret I must write that I shall be unable to join your theatre party on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth. My two cousins are visiting me and we had planned to go to the Hippodrome.

I much appreciate your thinking of me.

Very sincerely yours,

Ruth Evans.

For an informal affair, if at all in doubt as to what kind of invitation to issue, it is safe to write a brief note in the first person.

Two or more sisters may receive one invitation addressed "The Misses Evans." But two bachelor brothers must receive separate invitations. A whole family should never be included in one invitation. It is decidedly not proper to address one envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Elliott and family."

To an informal dance

Invitations to smaller and more informal dances may be short notes. Or a visiting card is sometimes sent with a notation written in ink below the hostess's name and toward the left, as shown below:

(A)

If the visiting card is used "R.S.V.P." is necessary, because usually invitations on visiting cards do not presuppose answers. The reply to the above may be either formal, in the third person, or may be an informal note.

(B)

500 Park Avenue,

January 4, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Elliott,

Will you and Mr. Elliott give us the pleasure of your company on Thursday, January the eighteenth, at ten o'clock? We are planning an informal dance and we should be so glad to have you with us.

Cordially yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

An acknowledgment should be sent within a week. Never acknowledge a visiting-card invitation by a visiting card. An informal note of acceptance or regret is proper.

Accepting

347 Madison Avenue,

January 10, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Both Mr. Elliott and I shall be delighted to go to your dance on Thursday, January the eighteenth, at ten o'clock. Thank you so much for asking us.

Very sincerely yours,

Jane S. Elliott.

Regretting

347 Madison Avenue,

January 10, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Thank you for your kind invitation for Thursday, January the eighteenth; I am so sorry that Mr. Elliott and I shall not be able to accept. Mr. Elliott has been suddenly called out of town and will not be back for two weeks.

With most cordial regards, I am

Very sincerely yours,

Jane S. Elliott.

A young girl sends invitations to men in the name of her mother or the person under whose guardianship she is. The invitation would say that her mother, or Mrs. Burton, or whoever it may be, wishes her to extend the invitation.

To a house-party

An invitation to a house-party, which may imply a visit of several days' duration (a week, ten days, or perhaps two weeks) must state exactly the dates of the beginning and end of the visit. The hostess's letter should mention the most convenient trains, indicating them on a timetable. The guest at a week-end party knows he is to arrive on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning and leave on the following Monday morning. It is thoughtful for the hostess to give an idea of the activities or sports planned. The letter might be somewhat in the following manner:

(A)

Glory View,

August 1, 1922.

Dear Miss Evans,

Will you be one of our guests at a house-party we are planning? We shall be glad if you can arrange to come out to Glory View on August eighth and stay until the seventeenth. I have asked several of your friends, among them Mary Elliott and her brother.

The swimming is wonderful and there is a new float at the Yacht Club. Be sure to bring your tennis racquet and also hiking togs.

I enclose a timetable with the best trains marked. If you take the 4:29 on Thursday you can be here in time for dinner. Let me know what train you expect to get and I will have Jones meet you.

Most cordially yours,

Myra T. Maxwell.

Accepting

500 Park Avenue,

August 3, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Maxwell,

Let me thank you and Mr. Maxwell for the invitation to your house-party. I shall be very glad to come.

The 4:29 train which you suggest is the most convenient. I am looking forward to seeing you again.

Very sincerely yours,

Ruth Evans.

(B)

Hawthorne Hill,

January 10, 1920.

My dear Anne,

We are asking some of Dorothy's friends for this week-end and we should be glad to have you join us. Some of them you already know, and I am sure you will enjoy meeting the others as they are all congenial.

Mr. Maxwell has just bought a new flexible flyer and we expect some fine coasting. Be sure to bring your skates. Goldfish Pond is like glass.

The best afternoon train on Friday is the 3:12, and the best Saturday morning train is the 9:30.

I hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours,

Myra T. Maxwell.

A letter of thanks for hospitality received at a week-end party or a house-party would seem to be obviously necessary. A cordial note should be written to your hostess thanking her for the hospitality received and telling her of your safe arrival home. This sort of letter has come into the title of the "Bread-and-Butter-Letter."

500 Park Avenue,

August 18, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Maxwell,

Having arrived home safely I must tell you how much I appreciate the thoroughly good time I had. I very much enjoyed meeting your charming guests.

Let me thank you and Mr. Maxwell most heartily, and with kindest regards I am

Sincerely yours,

Ruth Evans.

To a christening

Most christenings are informal affairs. The invitation may run like this:

September 8, 1920.

My dear Mary,

On next Sunday at three o'clock, at St. Michael's Church, the baby will be christened. Philip and I should be pleased to have you there.

Sincerely yours,

Dorothy Evans Brewster.

To bring a friend

Often in the case of a dance or an at home we may wish to bring a friend who we think would be enjoyed by the hostess. We might request her permission thus:

600 Riverside Drive,

April 25, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Dean,

May I ask you the favor of bringing with me on Wednesday evening, May the second, my old classmate, Mr. Arthur Price? He is an old friend of mine and I am sure you will like him.

If this would not be entirely agreeable to you, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Yours very sincerely,

Herbert Page.

For a card party

500 Park Avenue

My dear Mrs. King,

Will you and Mr. King join us on Thursday evening next at bridge?[4] We expect to have several tables, and we do hope you can be with us.

Cordially yours,

Katherine Gerard Evans.

March the eighteenth