You, fastidious critic, who carp at my writings, and disdain to read trifles of this kind, endure with some small patience this little book, while I smooth down the severity of your brow, and Æsop comes forward in a new and more lofty style.IV.13
Would that the pine had never fallen on the summits of PelionIV.14 under the Thessalian axe! and that Argus had never, with the aid of Pallas, invented a way boldly to meet certain death, in the ship which, to the destruction of Greeks and Barbarians, first laid open the bays of the inhospitable Euxine. For both had the house of the proud Æetes to lament it, and the realms of PeliasIV.15 fell by the guilt of Medea, who, after concealing by various methods the cruelty of her disposition, there effected her escape, by means of the limbsIV.16 of her brother, and here embrued the hands of the daughters of Pelias in their father’s blood.
What think you of this? “This, too, is mere folly,” say you, “and is an untrue story; for long before this, Minos, of more ancient date, subjected the Ægæan seas with his fleet, and by seasonable correction, punished piratical attacks.” What then can I possibly do for you, my Cato of a Reader, if neither FablesIV.17 nor Tragic Stories suit your taste? Do not be too severe upon all literary men, lest they repay you the injury with interest.
This is said to those who are over-squeamish in their folly, and, to gain a reputation for wisdom, would censure heaven itself.
SmartLet him who with greedy teeth attacks one who can bite harder, consider himself described in this Fable.
A Viper cameIV.18 into a smith’s workshop; and while on the search whether there was anything fit to eat, fastened her teeth upon a File. That, however, disdainfully exclaimed “Why, fool, do you try to wound me with your teeth, who am in the habit of gnawing asunder every kind of iron?”
SmartAs soon as a crafty man has fallen into danger, he seeks to make his escape by the sacrifice of another.
A Fox, through inadvertence, having fallen into a well,IV.19 and being closed in by the sides which were too high for her, a Goat parched with thirst came to the same spot, and asked whether the water was good, and in plenty. The other, devising a stratagem, replied: “Come down, my friend: such is the goodness of the water, that my pleasure in drinking cannot be satisfied.” Longbeard descended; then the Fox, mounting on his high horns, escaped from the well, and left the Goat to stick fast in the enclosed mud.
SmartJupiter has loaded us with a couple of Wallets: the one, filled with our own vices, he has placed at our backs, the other, heavy with those of others, he has hung before.
From this circumstance, we are not able to see our own faults: but as soon as others make a slip, we are ready to censure.
SmartA Thief lighted his Lamp at the altar of Jupiter, and then plundered it by the help of its own light. Just as he was taking his departure, laden with the results of his sacrilege, the Holy Place suddenly sent forth these words: “Although these were the gifts of the wicked, and to me abominable, so much so that I care not to be spoiled of them, still, profane man, thou shalt pay the penalty with thy life, when hereafter, the day of punishment, appointed by fate, arrives. But, that our fire, by means of which piety worships the awful Gods, may not afford its light to crime, I forbid that henceforth there shall be any such interchange of light.” Accordingly, to this day, it is neither lawful for a lamp to be lighted at the fire of the Gods, nor yet a sacrifice kindled from a lamp.IV.20
No other than he who invented this Fable, could explain how many useful lessons it affords. In the first place, it teaches that those whom you yourself have brought up, may often be found the most hostile to you: then again, it shows that crimes are punished not through the wrath of the Gods, but at the time appointed by the Fates: lastly, it warns the good to use nothing in common with the wicked.
SmartRiches are deservedly despised by a man of worth,IV.21 because a well-stored chest intercepts praise from its true objects.
When Hercules was received into heaven as the reward of his virtues, and saluted in turn the Gods who were congratulating him, on Plutus approaching, who is the child of Fortune, he turned away his eyes. His father, Jupiter, enquired the reason: “I hate him,” says he, “because he is the friend of the wicked, and at the same time corrupts all by presenting the temptation of gain.”
Nothing is more advantageous to a man than to speak the truth; a maxim that ought indeed to be approved of by all; but still sincerity is frequently impelled to its own destruction.
The Lion having made himself king of the wild beasts, and wishing to acquire the reputation of equity, abandoned his former course of rapine, and, content among them with a moderate supply of food, distributed hallowed justice with incorruptible fidelity. But after second thoughts began to prevailIV.22*****
(The rest is lost).
*****
*****
A fictione veretri linguam mulieris,
Affinitatem traxit inde obscœnitas.
Rogavit alter, tribadas et molles mares
Quæ ratio procreasset? Exposuit senex.
Idem Prometheus auctor vulgi fictilis
(Qui simul offendit ad fortunam, frangitur,)
Naturæ partes, veste quas celat pudor,
Quum separatim toto finxisset die,
Aptare mox ut posset corporibus suis,
Ad cœnam est invitatus subito a Libero;
Ubi irrigatus multo venas nectare
Sero domum est reversus titubanti pede.
Tum semisomno corde et errore ebrio,
Applicuit virginale generi masculo,
Et masculina membra applicuit fæminis;
Ita nunc libido pravo fruitur gaudio.
The She-GoatsIV.23 having obtained of Jupiter the favour of a beard, the He-Goats, full of concern, began to be indignant that the females rivalled them in their dignity. “Suffer them,” said the God, “to enjoy their empty honours, and to use the badge that belongs to your rank, so long as they are not sharers in your courage.”
This Fable teaches you to bear that those who are inferior to you in merit should be like you in outside appearances.
SmartOn a certain man complaining of his adverse fortune, Æsop, for the purpose of consoling him, invented this Fable.
A ship which had been tossed by a fierce tempest (while the passengers were all in tears, and filled with apprehensions of death) on the day suddenly changing to a serene aspect, began to be borne along in safety upon the buoyant waves, and to inspire the mariners with an excess of gladness. On this, the Pilot, who had been rendered wise by experience, remarked: “We ought to be moderate in our joy, and to complain with caution; for the whole of life is a mixture of grief and joy.”
The Dogs once sentIV.24 Ambassadors to Jupiter, to entreat of him a happier lot in life, and that he would deliver them from the insulting treatment of man, who gave them bread mixed with bran, and satisfied their most urgent hunger with filthy offal. The ambassadors set out, but with no hasty steps, while snuffing with their nostrils for food in every filth. Being summoned, they fail to make their appearance. After some difficulty Mercury finds them at last, and brings them up in confusion. As soon, however, as they saw the countenance of mighty Jove, in their fright they bewrayed the whole palace. Out they go, driven away with sticks; but great Jove forbade that they should be sent back. The Dogs, wondering that their Ambassadors did not return, and suspecting that they had committed something disgraceful, after a while ordered others to be appointed to aid them. Rumour soon betrayed the former Ambassadors. Dreading that something of a similar nature may happen a second time, they stuff the Dogs behind with perfumes, and plenty of them. They give their directions; the Ambassadors are dispatched; at once they take their departure. They beg for an audience, and forthwith obtain it. Then did the most mighty Father of the Gods take his seat on his throne, and brandish his thunders; all things began to shake. The Dogs in alarm, so sudden was the crash, in a moment let fall the perfumes with their dung. All cry out, that the affront must be avenged. But before proceeding to punishment, thus spoke Jupiter:— “It is not for a King to send Ambassadors away, nor is it a difficult matter to inflict a proper punishment on the offence; but by way of judgment this is the reward you shall have. I don’t forbid their return, but they shall be famished with hunger, lest they be not able to keep their stomachs in order. And as for those who sent such despicable Ambassadors as you, they shall never be free from the insults of man.”
And so it is,IV.25 that even now the Dogs of the present day are in expectation of their Ambassadors. When one of them sees a strange Dog appear, he snuffs at his tail.
SmartHe who gives relief to the wicked has to repent it before long.
A Man took up a Snake stiffened with frost, and warmed her in his bosom, being compassionate to his own undoing; for when she had recovered, she instantly killed the Man. On another one asking her the reason of this crime, she made answer: “That people may learn not to assist the wicked.”IV.26
SmartWhile a Fox, digging a lair, was throwing out the earth, and making deeper and more numerous burrows, she came to the farthest recesses of a Dragon’s den,IV.27 who was watching some treasure hidden there. As soon as the Fox perceived him, she began:— “In the first place, I beg that you will pardon my unintentional intrusion; and next, as you see clearly enough that gold is not suited to my mode of life, have the goodness to answer me: what profit do you derive from this toil, or what is the reward, so great that you should be deprived of sleep, and pass your life in darkness?” “None at all,” replied the other; “but this task has been assigned me by supreme Jove.” “Then you neither take anything for yourself, nor give to another?” “Such is the will of the Fates.” “Don’t be angry then, if I say frankly: the man is born under the displeasure of the Gods who is like you.”
As you must go to that place to which others have gone before, why in the blindness of your mind do you torment your wretched existence? To you I address myself, Miser, joy of your heir,IV.28 who rob the Gods of their incense, yourself of food; who hear with sorrow the musical sound of the lyre; whom the joyous notes of the pipes torment; from whom the price of provisions extorts a groan;IV.29 who, while adding some farthings to your estate, offend heaven by your sordid perjuries; who are for cutting downIV.30 every expense at your funeral, for fear LibitinaIV.31 should be at all a gainer at the expense of your property.
SmartAlthough malice may dissemble for the present, I am still perfectly aware what judgment it will think proper to arrive at. Whatever it shall here deem worthy to be transmitted to posterity, it will say belongs to Æsop; if it shall be not so well pleased with any portion, it will, for any wager, contend that the same was composed by me. One who thus thinks, I would refute once for all by this my answer: whether this work is silly, or whether it is worthy of praise, he was the inventor: my hand has brought it to perfection. But let us pursue our purpose in the order we proposed.
SmartA learned man has always a fund of riches in himself.
Simonides, who wrote such excellent lyric poems, the more easily to support his poverty, began to make a tour of the celebrated cities of Asia, singing the praises of victors for such reward as he might receive. After he had become enriched by this kind of gain, he resolved to return to his native land by sea; (for he was born, it is said, in the island of CeosIV.32). Accordingly he embarked in a ship, which a dreadful tempest, together with its own rottenness, caused to founder at sea. Some gathered together their girdles,IV.33 others their precious effects, which formed the support of their existence. One who was over inquisitive, remarked: “Are you going to save none of your property, Simonides?” He made reply: “All my possessions are about me.” A few only made their escape by swimming, for the majority, being weighed down by their burdens, perished. Some thieves make their appearance, and seize what each person has saved, leaving them naked. Clazomenæ, an ancient city, chanced to be near; to which the shipwrecked persons repaired. Here a person devoted to the pursuits of literature, who had often read the lines of Simonides, and was a very great admirer of him though he had never seen him, knowing from his very language who he was, received him with the greatest pleasure into his house, and furnished him with clothes, money, and attendants. The others meanwhile were carrying about their pictures,IV.34 begging for victuals. Simonides chanced to meet them; and, as soon as he saw them, remarked: “I told you that all my property was about me; what you endeavoured to save is lost.”
SmartA MountainIV.35 was in labour, sending forth dreadful groans, and there was in the districts the highest expectation. After all, it brought forth a Mouse.
This is designed for you, who, when you have threatened great things, produce nothing.
SmartAn Ant and a Fly were contending with great warmth which was of the greater importance. The Fly was the first to begin: “Can you possibly compare with my endowments? When a sacrifice is made, I am the first to taste of the entrails that belong to the Gods. I pass my time among the altars, I wander through all the temples; soon as I have espied it, I seat myself on the head of a king; and I taste of the chaste kisses of matrons. I labour not, and yet enjoy the nicest of things: what like to this, good rustic, falls to your lot?” “Eating with the Gods,” said the Ant, “is certainly a thing to be boasted of; but by him who is invited, not him who is loathed as an intruder. You talk about kings and the kisses of matrons. While I am carefully heaping up a stock of grain for winter, I see you feeding on filth about the walls. You frequent the altars; yes, and are driven away as often as you come. You labour not; therefore it is that you have nothing when you stand in need of it. And, further, you boast about what modesty ought to conceal. You tease me in summer; when winter comes you are silent. While the cold is shrivelling you up and putting you to death, a well-stored abode harbours me. Surely I have now pulled down your pride enough.”
A Fable of this nature distinctly points out the characters of those who set themselves off with unfounded praises, and of those whose virtues gain solid fame.
SmartI have said, above, how greatly learning is esteemed among men: I will now hand down to posterity how great is the honor paid to it by the Gods.
Simonides, the very same of whom I have before made mention, agreed, at a fixed price, to write a panegyric for a certain Pugilist,IV.36 who had been victorious: accordingly he sought retirement. As the meagreness of his subject cramped his imagination, he used, according to general custom, the license of the Poet, and introduced the twin stars of Leda,IV.37 citing them as an example of similar honours. He finished the Poem according to contract, but received only a third part of the sum agreed upon. On his demanding the rest: “They,” said he, “will give it you whose praises occupy the other two-thirds; but, that I may feel convinced that you have not departed in anger, promise to dine with me, as I intend to-day to invite my kinsmen, in the number of whom I reckon you.” Although defrauded, and smarting under the injury, in order that he might not, by parting on bad terms, break off all friendly intercourse, he promised that he would. At the hour named he returned, and took his place at table. The banquet shone joyously with its cups; the house resounded with gladness, amid vast preparations, when, on a sudden, two young men, covered with dust, and dripping with perspiration, their bodies of more than human form, requested one of the servants to call Simonides to them, and say that it was of consequence to him to make no delay. The man, quite confused, called forth Simonides; and hardly had he put one foot out of the banquetting room, when suddenly the fall of the ceiling crushed the rest, and no young men were to be seen at the gate.
When the circumstances of the story I have told were made known, all were persuaded that the personal intervention of the Divinities had saved the Poet’s life by way of reward.
SmartThere are still remaining many things which I might say, and there is a copious abundance of subjects; but though witticisms, well-timed, are pleasing; out of place, they disgust. Wherefore, most upright Particulo (a name destined to live in my writings, so long as a value shall continue to be set upon the Latin literature), if you like not my genius, at least approve my brevity, which has the more just claim to be commended, seeing how wearisome Poets usually are.IV.38
1. I have omitted)—Ver. 5. “Divinabit” seems preferable here to “damnabit,” or “demonstrabit,” the other readings; and Burmann is probably right in supposing that he means to say that many of the Æsopian fables had not yet been used by him, and though others may make use of them as bearing a general moral, they will not be able so well as himself to point their moral in reference to individuals or classes, in consequence of his advantage in having already adapted many of them to the censure of particular vices.
2. Particulo)—Ver. 10. Of Particulo nothing whatever is known, except that he was a freedman.
3. Cannot imitate)—Ver. 16. Gronovius thinks that he alludes to the Greek proverb “Μωμεῖσθαι ῥάδιον ἢ μιμεῖσθαι.” “’Tis easier to blame than to imitate.”
4. Priests of Cybele)—Ver. 4. During the Festival of Cybele, the Galli or eunuch-priests of the Goddess went about with an image of her seated on an ass, and beating a tambourine, for the purpose of making a collection to defray the expenses of the worship. They were called by the Greeks μητραγύρται, “Collectors for the Mother.” See the Fasti of Ovid, B. iv., l. 350, vol. i., p. 149, of Bohn’s Translation.
5. Tambourines)—Ver. 7. “The tympana,” which were almost exactly similar to our tambourines, were covered with the skin of asses or of oxen, and were beaten with the hand or a small stick.
6. So fare you well)—Ver. 21. “Sic valeas.” —“Fare you well, if you are flour, which you are not. I wish you luck as much as I believe you are what you pretend to be, i.e., not at all.”
7. The horse)—Ver. 3. “Sonipes,” literally “sounding-hoof.” This was a name commonly given to the horse by the Romans. Lucan repeatedly calls a war-horse by this epithet.
8. Spinner of wool)—Ver. 5. “Lanificam.” Working in wool was the constant employment of the more industrious among the females of the higher class. Ovid, in the Fasti, Book ii., l. 742, represents Lucretia as being found thus employed by her husband and Tarquinius. The Emperor Augustus refused to wear any clothes that were not woven by the females of his family.
9. Consulted equity)—Ver. 20. This seems to be the meaning of “fidem advocare:” but the passage has caused considerable difficulty to the Commentators.
10. A store-room)—Ver. 25. The “apotheca” was a place in the upper part of the house, in which the Romans frequently placed the amphoræ in which their wine was stored. It was situate above the “fumarium,” as the smoke was thought to heighten the flavour of the wine.
11. A finely finished house)—Ver. 26. “Politam” probably refers to the care with which the houses of the opulent in cities were smoothed by the workman’s art. According to some Commentators, however, “domus polita” here means “a house furnished with every luxury.”
12. In our taverns)—Ver. 2. We learn from Horace and other ancient writers, that it was the custom to paint comic subjects on the walls of the taverns; and similar subjects have been found painted on walls at Pompeii.
13. More lofty style)—Ver. 5. “Cothurnis,” literally “the buskins of Tragedy.”
14. Summits of Pelion)—Ver 6. The ship Argo was said to have been built of wood grown on Mount Pelion. The author alludes to the expedition of Jason to Colchis to fetch thence the Golden Fleece.
15. The realms of Pelias)—Ver. 13. He alludes to the death of Pelias, King of Thessaly, through the schemes of Medea, daughter of Æetes, King of Colchis, at the hands of his own daughters. See Ovid’s Metamorphoses, B. vii. l. 297, et seq.
16. Limbs of her brother)—Ver. 15. When, on her flight with Jason, Æetes pursued his daughter Medea, she, having taken with her her brother Absyrtus, in order to retard her father in the pursuit, cut her brother in pieces, and scattered his limbs in the way. Thus, while the father was employed in gathering the limbs of his son, Medea made her escape. The place where this happened was thence said to have had the name of Tomi; and to this place Ovid was banished by Augustus. See the Story related in the Tristia of Ovid, B. iii. El. ix.
17. If neither Fables)—Ver. 22. By “fabellæ,” he probably means Æsopian fables, while by “fabulæ,” the more lofty stories of tragedy are meant. By “Cato,” he means a censorious or over-scrupulous reader.
18. A Viper entered)—Ver. 3. Lokman, the Arabian Fabulist, has the same fable; but there a Cat plays the part of the Viper.
19. Fallen into a well)—Ver. 3. Some of the Commentators think that Tiberius and Sejanus are pointed at in this Fable.
20. From a lamp)—Ver. 13. The ancients were compelled to light sacrifices to the Gods from torches, and not with fire from a lamp. More usually a fire was kept constantly burning in the temple for the purpose.
21. A man of worth)—Ver. 1. It has been suggested that by “forti viro,” Phædrus means a military man. The word “fortis” seems rather here to mean “of real worth,” or “of strong mind.” Some of ancient authors make Plutus to be the son of Ceres and Jasius.
22. Began to prevail)—Ver. 9. The remainder of this Fable is lost. It is supposed to have been torn out of the MS. of the writings of Phædrus by some pious monk, who, objecting to the following Fable, destroyed the leaf which contained the latter part of the present one, as well as some part of the next. Orellius considers the lines ending with “obscœnitas” as the fragment of a Fable distinct from the succeeding lines.
23. The She-Goats)—Ver. 1. This Fable is thought by some to bear reference to the interference of Livia in affairs of state.
24. The Dogs once sent)—Ver. 1. It is supposed that in this singular Fable, Phædrus ridicules, in a covert manner, some of the prevailing superstitions of his day, or else that he satirizes Tiberius and Sejanus, while the Dogs signify the Roman people.
25. And so it is)—Ver. 35. This and the next line are regarded by many as spurious: indeed Hare is disinclined to believe that this Fable was written by Phædrus at all.
26. Not to assist the wicked)—Ver. 5. It has been remarked that Phædrus here deviates from nature, in making the Serpent give a bad character of itself. Those who think that Phædrus wrote after the time of Tiberius, suggest that Caligula is represented by the snake, who wreaked his cruelty on his former benefactors, Macro and Ennia.
27. Of a Dragon’s den)—Ver. 3. In former times, when riches were more commonly buried in the earth, it was perhaps found convenient to encourage a superstitious notion, which was very prevalent, that they were guarded by watchful Dragons.
28. Joy of your heir)—Ver. 18. That is to say, in his death.
29. Extorts a groan)—Ver. 22. So in the Aulularia of Plautus, Act II. Sc. viii. the miser Euclio is represented as groaning over the high price of provisions.
30. Cutting down)—Ver. 25. In his will.
31. Lest Libitina)—Ver. 26. The “pollinctores,” or “undertakers,” kept their biers and other implements required at funerals, at the Temple of the Goddess Libitina.
32. In the island of Ceos)—Ver. 28. The poet Simonides was born at Iulis, a city of the isle of Ceos, one of the Cyclades, in the Ægæan Sea.
33. Their girdles)—Ver. 11. Among the ancients, the zones or girdles were sometimes used for the purpose of keeping money there; while sometimes purses were carried suspended from them.
34. Carrying about their pictures)—Ver. 24. It was the custom for shipwrecked persons to go about soliciting charity with a painting suspended from the neck, representing their calamity; much in the fashion which we sometimes see followed at the present day.
35. A Mountain)—Ver. 1. Tachos, King of Egypt, is said by Plutarch to have said to Agesilaüs, King of Sparta, when he came to his assistance: “The mountain has been in labour, Jupiter has been in alarm, but it has brought forth a mouse,” alluding to the diminutive stature of Agesilaus; who contented himself with replying, in answer to this rude remark: “One day I shall appear to you even to be a lion.”
36. A certain Pugilist)—Ver. 5. “Pyctæ;” from the Greek πυκτὴς, a “boxer,” or “pugilist,” Latinized.
37. Twin stars of Leda)—Ver. 9. Castor and Pollux, the twin sons of Leda.
38. Usually are)—Ver. 9. Orellius introduces this after Fable V in the Fifth Book.
If I shall anywhere insert the name of Æsop, to whom I have already rendered every honor that was his due, know that it is for the sake of his authority, just as some statuaries do in our day, who obtain a much greater price for their productions, if they inscribe the name of Praxiteles on their marbles, and MyronV.1 on their polished silver. Therefore let these Fables obtain a hearing. Carping envy more readily favours the works of antiquity than those of the present day. But now I turn to a Fable, with a moral to the purpose.
SmartDemetrius,V.2 who was called Phalereus, unjustly took possession of the sovereignty of Athens. The mob, according to their usual practice, rush from all quarters vying with each other, and cheer him, and wish him joy. Even the chief men kiss the hand by which they are oppressed, while they silently lament the sad vicissitudes of fortune. Moreover, those who live in retirement, and take their ease, come creeping in last of all, that their absence may not injure them. Among these Menander, famousV.3 for his Comedies (which Demetrius, who did not know him, had read, and had admired the genius of the man), perfumed with unguents, and clad in a flowing robe, came with a mincing and languid step. As soon as the Tyrant caught sight of him at the end of the train: “What effeminate wretch,” said he, “is this, who presumes to come into my presence?” Those near him made answer: “This is Menander the Poet.” Changed in an instant, he exclaimed: “A more agreeable looking man could not possibly exist.”
SmartTwo Soldiers having fallen in with a Robber, one fled, while the other stood his ground, and defended himself with a stout right-hand. The Robber slain, his cowardly companion comes running up, and draws his sword; then throwing back his travelling cloak,V.4 says: “Let’s have him;” “I’ll take care he shall soon know whom he attacks.” On this, he who had vanquished the robber made answer: “I wish you had seconded me just now at least with those words; I should have been still more emboldened, believing them true; now keep your sword quiet, as well as your silly tongue, that you may be able to deceive others who don’t know you. I, who have experienced with what speed you take to your heels, know full well that no dependence is to be placed upon your valour.”
This story may be applied to him who is courageous in prosperity, in times of danger takes to flight.
SmartA Fly bit the bare pate of a Bald Man; who, endeavouring to crush it, gave himself a heavy blow. Then said the Fly jeeringly: “You wanted to revenge the sting of a tiny insect with death; what will you do to yourself, who have added insult to injury?” The Man made answer: “I am easily reconciled to myself, because I know that there was no intention of doing harm. But you, worthless insect, and one of a contemptible race, who take a delight in drinking human blood, I could wish to destroy you, even at a heavier penalty.”
This Fable teaches that pardon is to be granted to him who errs through mistake. But him who is designedly mischievous, I deem to be deserving of any punishment.
SmartA Man having sacrificed a young boar to the god Hercules, to whom he owed performance of a vow made for the preservation of his health, ordered the remains of the barley to be set for the Ass. But he refused to touch it, and said: “I would most willingly accept your food, if he who had been fed upon it had not had his throat cut.”
Warned by the significance of this Fable, I have always been careful to avoid the gain that exposed to hazard. “But,” say you, “those who have got riches by rapine, are still in possession of them.” Come, then, let us enumerate those, who, being detected, have come to a bad end; you will find that those so punished constitute a great majority.
Rashness brings luck to a few, misfortune to most.
SmartMen are in the habit of erring through prejudice; and while they stand up in defence of their erroneous notions, are wont to be driven by plain facts to confession of their mistakes.
A rich Man, about to entertain the people with grand shows, invited all, by the promise of a reward, to exhibit whatever new piece of ingenuity any one could. The Performers came to the contest for fame, among whom a Buffoon, well known for his drollery, said that he had a kind of entertainment which had never yet been brought out at any theatre. The rumour, spreading, brought together the whole city; and the places, empty shortly before, sufficed not for the multitude. But as soon as he appeared on the stage, alone, and without any apparatus, any stage-assistants, the very intenseness of expectation produced silence. Suddenly, he dropped down his head towards his bosom, and so well did he imitate the voice of a pig with his own, that they concluded there was a real one under his cloak, and ordered it to be shaken out. This being done, as soon as they found that nothing was discovered, they loaded the Man with many praises, and bestowed upon him the greatest applause.
A Countryman seeing this take place: “Egad,” said he, “he shan’t surpass me;” and immediately gave out that he would do the same thing still better on the following day. A still greater crowd assembled. Prejudice had already taken possession of their minds, and they took their seats, determined to deride, and not as unbiassed spectators. Both Performers come forth. First, the Buffoon grunts away, and excites their applause, and awakens their acclamations. Next, the Countryman, pretending that he concealed a pig beneath his clothes (which, in fact, he did; but quite unsuspected, because they had found none about the other), twitched the ear of the real pig, which he was concealing, and with the pain forced from it its natural cry. The people shouted with one voice that the Buffoon had given a much more exact imitation, and ordered the Countryman to be driven from the stage. On this, he produced the pig itself from the folds of his cloak, and convicting them of their disgraceful mistake by a manifest proof: “Look,” said he, “this shows what sort of judges you are.”
SmartA Bald Man chanced to find a comb in the public road. Another, equally destitute of hair, came up: “Come,” said he, “shares, whatever it is you have found.” The other showed the booty, and added withal: “The will of the Gods has favoured us, but through the malignity of fate, we have found, as the saying is, a coal instead of a treasure.”
This complaint befits him whom hope has disappointed.
SmartWhen a weak mind, beguiled by frivolous applause, has once given way to insolent self-sufficiency, such foolish vanity is easily exposed to ridicule.
Princeps, the Flute-player, was pretty well known, being accustomed to accompany BathyllusV.5 with his music on the stage. It chanced that, at a representation, I don’t well remember what it was, while the flying-machineV.6 was being whirled along, he fell heavily, through inadvertence, and broke his left leg, when he would much rather have parted with two right ones.V.7 He was picked up and carried to his house groaning aloud. Some months pass by before his cure is completed. As is the way with the spectators, for they are a merry race, the man began to be missed, by whose blasts the vigour of the dancer was wont to be kept at full stretch.
A certain Nobleman was about to exhibit a show, just when Princeps was beginning to walk abroad. With a present and entreaties he prevailed upon him merely to present himself on the day of the show. When the day came a rumour about the Flute-player ran through the theatre. Some affirmed that he was dead, some that he would appear before them without delay. The curtain falling,V.8 the thunders rolled,V.9 and the Gods conversed in the usual form. At this moment the Chorus struck up a song unknown to him who had so recently returned; of which the burthen was this: “Rejoice, Rome, in security, for your prince [Princeps] is well.” All rise with one consent and applaud. The Flute-player kisses hands, and imagines that his friends are congratulating him. The Equestrian order perceive the ridiculous mistake, and with loud laughter encore the song. It is repeated. My man now throws himself sprawling at full length upon the stage.V.10 Ridiculing him, the Knights applaud; while the people fancy he is only asking for a chaplet. When, however, the reality came to be known throughout all the tiers, Princeps, his leg bound up with a snow-white fillet, clad in snow-white tunic, and snow-white shoes,V.11 while pluming himself on the honors really paid to the Deified House,V.12 was thrust out headlong by common consent.
SmartA Bald Man, balancing on a razor’s edge, fleet of foot, his forehead covered with hair,V.13 his body naked—if you have caught him, hold him fast; when he has once escaped, not Jupiter himself can overtake him: he is the emblem how shortlived is Opportunity.
The ancients devised such a portraiture of Time, to signify that slothful delay should not hinder the execution of our purposes.
SmartWhen a Bull was struggling with his horns in a narrow passage, and could hardly effect an entrance to the manger, a Calf began to point out in what way he might turn himself: “Hush,” said the Bull, “I knew that before you were born.”
Let him who would instruct a wiser man, consider this as said to himself.
SmartA Dog, who had always given satisfaction to his master by his boldness against swift and savage beasts, began to grow feeble under increasing years. On one occasion, being urged to the combat with a bristling Boar, he seized him by the ear; but, through the rottenness of his teeth, let go his prey. Vexed at this, the Huntsman upbraided the Dog. Old BarkerV.14 replied: “It is not my courage that disappoints you, but my strength. You commend me for what I have been; and you blame me that I am not what I was.”
You, Philetus,V.15 may easily perceive why I have written this.