CHAPTER LXXVII — The ceremony of receiving a Frank ambassador at the court is described.
My chief, the Mirza Firouz, was received with great condescension by the Shah, who was pleased at the ready answers he received to his numerous questions concerning the nations of Europe. Never was man better adapted to fill the situation to which he had been appointed than the Mirza. Every question which the Shah put to him was received with a ready answer. Ignorance did not confound him, no difficulty stopped him. The words 'nemi danum, I don't know,' ever a sin in the hearing of a king, were never known to pass his lips. He discoursed upon every matter with a confidence that made his hearers believe that whatever he said must be conclusive; and upon the subject of Europeans, to listen to him, one could not but suppose he had been born and bred among them.
As I was known to have been employed under him in 'seizing news', as the phrase goes, concerning Europe, and also in writing its history, I in some measure enjoyed the reputation of being learned in whatever regarded its inhabitants. Although my assurance was nothing equal to my master's, yet I managed to answer the questions put to me with tolerable readiness, although, in so doing, I was obliged to be very circumspect not to commit him: therefore, I passed my days in the double fear of appearing ignorant, and of having my ears cut off in case I happened to be too wise. However, as none among our own countrymen could contradict us, we were listened to as oracles, and we exemplified what the poet Al Miei has so justly remarked: 'That in the country of the dumb the sound of one voice, be it even that of an ass, would be called harmony.'
The English elchi (ambassador) had reached Tehran a few days before we arrived there, and his reception was as brilliant as it was possible for a dog of an unbeliever to expect from our blessed Prophet's own lieutenant. Indeed the city was almost shocked at the honours paid him, and some of the most violent of our mollahs declared, that in treating a Giaour so well, we were ourselves in some measure guilty of his infidelity, and preparing our own damnation. At different stations on the road, the throats of oxen had been cut before his horse's feet, in many places his path was strewn with sugar-candy, and on the day of his entry he was permitted to have his trumpets sounded in the procession, all of which were honours that could be exacted by none, save our own princes.
Then all the proper attentions of hospitality were shown. The house of a khan was taken from him and given to the ambassador, and whatever furniture was wanting was demanded from the neighbours and placed therein. A handsome garden was levied upon another, and added to the house. The lord high treasurer was commanded to feed the strangers at his own expense as long as they chose, and clothes and shawls were collected from the courtiers and servants of the court, for the dresses of honour which it is the custom to make on such occasions. The princes and noblemen were enjoined to send the ambassador presents, and a general command issued that he and his suite were the Shah's guests, and that, on the pain of the royal anger, nothing but what was agreeable should be said to them.
All these attentions, one might suppose, would be more than sufficient to make infidels contented with their lot; but, on the contrary, when the subject of etiquette came to be discussed, interminable difficulties seemed to arise. The elchi was the most intractable of mortals. First, on the subject of sitting. On the day of his audience of the Shah, he would not sit on the ground, but insisted upon having a chair; then the chair was to be placed so far, and no farther, from the throne. In the second place, of shoes, he insisted upon keeping on his shoes, and not walking barefooted upon the pavement; and he would not even put on our red cloth stockings. Thirdly, with respect to hats: he announced his intention of pulling his off to make his bow to the king, although we assured him that it was an act of great indecorum to uncover the head. And then, on the article of dress, a most violent dispute arose: at first, it was intimated that proper dresses should be sent to him and his suite, which would cover their persons (now too indecently exposed) so effectually that they might be fit to be seen by the king; but this proposal he rejected with derision. He said, that he would appear before the Shah of Persia in the very same dress he wore when before his own sovereign. Now, as there was not a Persian who had ever been at the court of a Frank king, no body could say what that proper dress was; and, for aught we knew, the elchi might put on his bed-gown and night-cap on the occasion. This was a difficulty apparently not to be overcome, when, turning the subject over in my own mind, I recollected that among the paintings in the palace of Forty Pillars at Ispahan, there were portraits of Europeans, who, in the days of the great Shah Abbas, flocked to his court, and even established themselves in the city. In particular, I well recollected one in the very same painting in which Shah Abbas himself is represented, whose dress was doubtless the only proper costume to wear before a crowned head. I immediately suggested this to my master, who mentioned it to the grand vizier, who ordered that a copy of it should, without loss of time, be made by the best artist of Ispahan, and sent to Tehran.
So soon as it arrived it was officially presented to the English elchi, with a notification that the Shah was satisfied to receive him in the same dress he wore before his own sovereign, a model of which was now offered to him, and to which it was expected that he and his suite would strictly conform.
The shouts of laughter which the infidels set up, upon seeing the picture and hearing the message, are not to be described. They asked if we thought them monkeys, that they should dress themselves as such at our bidding, and were so obstinate in their resolution of keeping to their own mode of attire, that at length they were permitted to do as they chose.
The audience of the Shah passed off much better than could have been expected from such rude and uncivilized people, and we were all astonished that men, so unaccustomed to the manners and forms of the world, should have conducted themselves on this difficult occasion without committing some act that was flagrant and improper. The king was seated on his throne of gold, dressed with a magnificence that dazzled the eyes of the strangers, and made even his subjects exclaim, 'Jemshîd? who was he? or Darab? or Nûshirvan? that they should be mentioned in the same breath?' On the right and left of the throne stood the princes, more beautiful than the gems which blazed upon their father's person. At a distance were placed the three viziers of the state, those depositaries of wisdom and good council; and, with their backs to the wall, each bearing a part of the paraphernalia of the crown, were marshalled in a row the black-eyed pages of royalty, who might be compared to angels supporting planets from the starry firmament. In the midst appeared the Franks, who, with their unhidden legs, their coats cut to the quick, their unbearded chins, and unwhiskered lips, looked like birds moulting, or diseased apes, or anything but human creatures, when contrasted with the ample and splendidly dressed persons by whom they were surrounded. And they stood their ground, not in the least abashed by the refulgent presence of the great king; but their attitude, manner, and expression of countenance, would have made us suppose they were as good and as undefiled as ourselves.
The speech made on the occasion by the elchi was characteristic of the people he represented—that is, unadorned, unpolished, neither more nor less than the truth, such as a camel-driver might use to a muleteer; and had it not been for the ingenuity of the interpreter our Shah would neither have been addressed by his title of King of Kings, or of the Kebleh of the Universe.
It would be taking up the pen of eternity were I to attempt to describe the boundless difference that we discovered between the manners and sentiments of these people and ourselves. Some of our sages endeavoured to account for it upon philosophical principles, and attributed much to the climate of those dark, watery, and sunless regions in which they were bred and born: 'for,'said they, 'how can men living surrounded by water, and who never feel the warmth of the sun, be like those who are never a day without enjoying the full effulgence of its rays, and do not even know what the sea means?' But the men of the law settled the question in a much more satisfactory manner, by saying 'it was owing to their infidelity that they were doomed to be cursed even in this life; and that if the ambassador, his suite, and even his whole nation, would submit to become Mussulmans, and embrace the only true faith, they would immediately be like ourselves, their defilements would be washed clean, and they even might stand a chance of walking in the same story of the heavens as the genuine children of Islam would in the world to come.
CHAPTER LXXVIII — Hajji is noticed by the grand vizier, and is the means of gratifying that minister's favourite passion.
The transactions just recorded were all propitious to my advancement. Owing to the knowledge I was supposed to have acquired respecting Europe, I was employed in most of the affairs which concerned the Franks in Persia, and this had furnished me with many opportunities of becoming known to the grand vizier, and to other ministers and men in power.
The Mirza Firouz was not rich, and the maintenance which he received in his public character ceasing as soon as he returned to Tehran, he could no longer afford to support me, and he was happy to find that I was able to work my own way into a livelihood. He did not fail to praise my good qualities, and never lost an opportunity of extolling my abilities. Nor was I backward in seconding his endeavours, for I brought everything and every person, infidels as well as true believers, to bear upon my ambitious views; and destiny (without whose aid man's endeavours are of no avail) almost as much as whispered, that the buffetings of the world had taken their departure from me.
The grand vizier was, without a doubt, the man in Persia, who from his acuteness, tact, and presence of mind, had the most influence over the Shah. He had enjoyed his high situation almost from the commencement of the present long reign, and had so interlaced his office with every transaction, public as well as private, that his councils became as necessary to the country as the rising and setting of the sun.
To secure his protection became then the first object of my endeavours. I began by daily attending his levees and standing before him, and as the affairs relating to Europe now took up his principal attention, he never saw me without asking some question referring thereto. This led to my being entrusted with messages to the English ambassador, the answers to which I always brought back, with something of my own surcharged, flattering to his abilities as a great statesman, and thus by creating goodwill between the parties, I myself became a favourite.
The leading passion of the vizier was the love of receiving presents. This was my kebleh in all transactions with the elchi, and my ingenuity was constantly exercised in endeavouring to extract something from him which would be acceptable to the vizier, and serviceable to myself. That presents of ceremony should be received and given was a matter of course, and, therefore, I stood no chance of acquiring any credit on such occasions; but I was once or twice accessory in making the balance strongly preponderate in favour of my own countrymen, and the vizier from that time began to look upon me with a favourable aspect.
A treaty was to be negotiated between the two countries, and my patron was appointed one of the plenipotentiaries on the part of the Shah. Although this was matter in which one of my insignificance could not expect to be employed, yet I did not cease to ply about the negotiators, like a dog at an entertainment seeking for a chance bone; and every now and then I got so much of the scent as to make me almost sure of springing some game for myself.
At length, one morning, after a late sitting of the negotiators, I was summoned to attend the grand vizier in his very anderûn, a place to which none but his most confidential servants were ever admitted. I found him still in bed, bolstered up with many soft pillows, and entirely alone.
'Hajji,' said he, in a familiar tone, 'draw near, and seat yourself close to me; I have something of importance to say.'
I was staggered by so high an honour; but as his command was law, I did not hesitate to kneel by his bedside.
Without circumlocution, he at once told me that he was placed in a situation of great difficulty, for the English ambassador had made some demands impossible to be granted, and declared that he must quit Tehran, should they not receive our acquiescence.
'Now,' said he, 'the Shah has threatened if I permit the elchi to leave Persia dissatisfied, that my head shall answer for it; and at the same time I and my brother plenipotentiary are half persuaded that his majesty will never accede to the demands of England. What is to be done?'
'Could he not be bribed?' said I, with all humility, and looking as if I would give other meaning to my words.
'He be bribed?' said the vizier; 'in the first place, whence could the bribe come? and in the second, these people are such fools, that they know not what a bribe means. But give me your ear. We are no fools, whatever they may be. The elchi is very anxious to carry his point, and you know me well enough to be aware that there is nothing I cannot accomplish if once I take it in hand. You must go and talk to him. You are his friend. You may say that you are mine—you may whisper many things to him which I cannot—do you understand?'
Upon this I kissed his hand with much fervour, and raising it to my head I exclaimed, 'By my head and by my eyes, I will go—and inshallah, please God, I will not return without a white face.'
He then dismissed me, and full of happy prospects I made the best of my way to the English ambassador.
I will not relate all I said and did to induce him to come into the grand vizier's terms; but in two words, I so entirely and completely succeeded, that I returned with a heavy sack of gold, of good and solid cash, in my hand, as the forerunner of what was to follow in case all was concluded to the ambassador's satisfaction, and I also secured the promise of a large diamond ring that was forthwith to be transferred from the finger of England to that of Persia, by way of an emblem of eternal friendship between the representatives of the two states.
The vizier was so astonished when he saw me place the sack before him, that he looked at me and then at it, some time before he spoke, and then broke out into exclamations in praise of my activity and zeal.
'Hajji,' said he, 'you are now my property. We are somebody in Persia, and you will not long remain without a cap to your head. Make an arz, a representation, and its accomplishment will rest with me.
Many were the protestations I made him of fidelity and redoubled zeal. I disowned any intention of asking for any remuneration, except the favour of being permitted to stand before him; and I looked so humble, and talked in so disinterested a manner, that if he ever could have believed a Persian, I flattered myself he did me.
But he understood the value of such speeches a great deal better than I, and said, 'Do not throw away your words at random. I was once with my head turning round and round in the world for a livelihood as well as yourself, and, therefore, I know the value of the service which you have rendered. Proceed in the path which now lies before you. The Franks are proper materials for your ingenuity. I give you my sanction to work upon them. They have plenty of gold, and are in want of us. What more need be said? The people of Iran are like the earth; they require rishweh,[88] their interests must be highly excited, before they will bring forth fruit. The Franks talk of feelings in public life of which we are ignorant. They pretend to be actuated by no other principle than the good of their country. These are words without meaning to us; for as soon as I die, or when the Shah is no more, all that we may have done for the welfare of Persia will most likely be destroyed; and when his successor shall have well ruined the people in securing himself, the whole business of improvement and consolidation must be gone over again. Certain privileges and enjoyments are the lawful inheritance of the Shahs of Persia: let them possess them in the name of Allah! And their viziers also have their allotted portion: why should they refuse them? Certainly not for the good of the country, because not one individual throughout the whole empire even understands what that good means, much less would he work for it.'
My mind was greatly enlightened by this speech, and as the curtain which hitherto had darkened my understanding drew up, I discovered new prospects, and could extend my view over a new and more diversified region of profit. The words, 'the Franks are proper materials for your ingenuity' rung in my ears, and my wits immediately began their career of invention.
CHAPTER LXXIX — Of the manner in which he turned his influence to use, and how he was again noticed by the vizier.
I gave myself much pains to have it well understood in the city, that I was a confidential agent of the grand vizier, and did my best endeavour to impress upon the infidels that without my interference nothing could be done. The fruits of this proceeding were soon manifest, and my services put into requisition in a manner highly conducive to mutual advantage.
One of the most remarkable features in the character of our English guests was their extreme desire to do us good against our inclination. Rather than not attempt it, they put themselves to infinite trouble, and even did not refrain from expense to secure their ends. They felt a great deal more for us than we did for ourselves; and what they could discover in us worthy of their love, we, who did not cease to revile them as unclean infidels, and as creatures doomed to eternal fires, we were quite at a loss to discover. However, I had nothing to do with their tastes; my business was to study how to turn them to account, and the subject in all conscience was rich, and repaid me well for my trouble.
My readers will perhaps recollect that, in the first volume of this my narrative, I mentioned my acquaintance with an infidel doctor, who, among other novelties in medicine, did his utmost endeavours to introduce into Persia a new mode of curing the small-pox. The practice was now totally laid aside; our faculty continued to treat the disorder as our forefathers had done, and the usual quantity of children died as heretofore. A doctor was also attached to the suite of the present elchi, and he was impelled by more than common anxiety to do us good. His zeal to renew the practice of the cow medicine was unbounded, and the quantity of mothers whom he enticed to bring their children to him astonishing.
I, in pursuit of my own schemes, was the first to cry out, that this great influx of women of the true faith into the dwelling of an infidel, be the object what it might, was highly indecorous, and I persuaded the grand vizier to place an officer of the police as sentry at the doctor's door to prevent the women entering. This very soon stopped his practice, and he was in despair.
'But why should you grieve?' said I to him. 'You get nothing for your trouble, and the people are not obliged to you.'
'Oh,' said he (for he and his countrymen had learnt our language), 'you know not what you say. This blessing must be spread throughout the world; and if your government stops it here, it will be guilty of the blood of all those lives which might have been saved.'
'What is that to us?' answered I: 'let them die—we get nothing by their being alive.'
'If it be profit that you require,' exclaimed the doctor, 'I will willingly pay any sum you may demand, rather than lose my vaccinating matter, which must dry up and be lost if my practice ceases.'
Here we entered into a negotiation, and after much difficulty and show of apprehension concerning the risk I ran of incurring the grand vizier's displeasure, it was agreed that for certain advantages which I should enjoy, the restriction should be taken from the doctor's house; and I leave those who know me to guess the numbers of children who now flocked to the man of medicine. His gate was thronged, and nothing more was said respecting the impropriety of the women's attendance.
Another of his manias was a desire to cut up dead bodies. He did so languish after every corpse that was carried by his house for burial, that I was surprised the people did not set upon him for his impure propensities.
'But what possible good will accrue to mankind in general,' said I to him, 'if you dissect a dead Mussulman?'
'It is impossible to say what good may be lost by my not dissecting him,' said he; 'besides, if I do not keep my hand in practice, I shall lose my former skill.'
He then of his own accord proposed to give a large sum for a corpse, and avowed that he was not particular about its quality, for that of a Jew, Christian, or a true believer, would be equally acceptable.
I kept this in remembrance; and indeed I had so many opportunities afforded me of advancing the designs of the infidels, and of filling my own pockets at the same time, that I felt myself gradually growing into wealth.
The ambassador himself was not without his desires of improving (as he called it) our state; and I cannot resist relating a circumstance which took place between him and the grand vizier. He announced it as his intention to make a present to us of a certain produce of the earth, unknown in most parts of Asia, but much cultivated in Europe, which would not fail to be of incalculable benefit to the people of Persia; and he requested the vizier to assist him in his undertaking, promising shortly to send him a specimen of the intended gift. The vizier, whose nose was always carried very high whenever a present was in the wind, did not fail daily to discuss with me what this great benefit which the ambassador was about to confer might be, and his impatience to gain possession became very great. He discovered through me, that the English representative had brought with him a store of fine broadcloth, upon which he had constantly kept a steady eye. Finding that the projected public benefit was not forthcoming, he conceived in his wisdom that the elchi would have an easy bargain, if he agreed to commute it for a private gift to himself. Therefore, one morning at his uprising he called me, and said, 'By the blessing of God, whatever we want we have: we have bread and meat—we have salt, and rice, and corn, and fruits, such as the infidels never even saw in a dream; in short, we have everything that it is possible to conceive. Then why should we become indebted to this infidel ambassador for things that we do not want? A happy thought has struck me, by which he will be a gainer, and be saved the trouble he wishes to incur: I will agree to receive cloth in lieu of the public benefit. This is so easy a transaction, that you, who, praise be to Allah! are a man of sharp wit, will easily negotiate. Go, say this to the ambassador, and without loss of time bring me the cloth.'
I forthwith presented myself, and delivered the message. Will it be believed that he and all his beardless suite, upon hearing it, set up such shouts of laughter, as might be heard from the top of Demawend? 'What affinity has cloth to potatoes?' said one. 'We wish to give a cheap and comfortable article of food to your countrymen,' said another. 'But it seems that your vizier likes to transfer the whole advantage of the gift from the bellies of the nation to his own back,' cried a third. The ambassador, however, who appeared the most reasonable of the party, without hesitation very politely ordered a piece of cloth to be delivered to me, which he requested me to present to my master with reiterated expressions of friendship; and with the assurance that it could make no alteration in the sentiments which he entertained for the Persian nation, who he hoped would still receive the potato, as a mark of his high esteem and consideration.
I returned to the vizier full of exultation at the success of my visit; and this, with the preceding and subsequent instances of my abilities, so entirely won his affections, that I soon outstripped every rival, and became his principal favourite and confidant.
CHAPTER LXXX — The conclusion—Misfortune seems to take leave of Hajji Baba, who returns to his native city a greater man than when he first left.
The negotiations with the infidels were now about being closed; and it was agreed, in order to strengthen the bonds of friendship between the two, that an embassy on the part of the Shah should forthwith be sent to the king of England.
The experience of each succeeding day convinced me of the influence I had acquired over the mind of the grand vizier; and the event just recorded was the means of showing me to what extent he depended upon my services and zeal. The day after the treaty with England was signed, he called me into his private apartment, and spoke to me in the following manner:—
'Hajji,' said he, 'give me your ear. I have things of importance to impart, and as I look upon you as one exclusively mine, I am sure that you will listen to them with becoming attention.'
I was proceeding to make the necessary protestations of my entire devotedness, when he stopped me, and proceeded thus:—
'Well or ill, our business with the English ambassador is at length concluded, and the Shah has ceded to his wishes of sending an ambassador to England in return. Now, you know the Persians as well as I, how they detest leaving their own country, and the difficulty I shall find in selecting a man to devote himself to this service. I have one in my eye, whom I wish to send above every other; and as it is of the utmost importance to me that he should be removed for the present from Persia, and particularly from the presence of the Centre of the Universe, I require that you use your best endeavours to persuade his acceptance of the appointment.'
I immediately felt assured that he could mean no other than me, although I did not see what reason he could have for removing me from the presence of the king; and elated by so bright a prospect of sudden elevation to rank and honours, I sprung towards him, and seizing his hand with fervour to kiss, I exclaimed, 'The least of your slaves will always prove to be the most faithful of your servants: speak, and you will always find me ready, even to death.'
'That is well spoken,' said he, with great composure, 'and now listen to me. The man I allude to is Mirza Firouz' (here my countenance fell, and I drawled out in answer a long 'belli, yes'). 'The truth is, I have lately discovered that his influence with the Shah has been considerably upon the increase. He possesses such great volubility of speech, and such vast command of language,—he flatters so intensely, and lies so profoundly,—that the king is more amused by him than by any other man of his court. Who knows how far he may go? Besides, I am assured that secretly he is my most bitter enemy, whilst openly he affects to be my most devoted of servants; and although to this day I have never for a moment dreaded the hatred or the intrigues of any one, yet I cannot but own, that, in this instance, I am not without my fears. By sending him among the infidels, as the Shah's representative, I at once cut off the source of my uneasiness; and once let him be gone, I will so arrange matters, that even should he return successful from his mission (which, please God, he never may!) he shall never acquire the influence over the Shah which he is now attempting to establish.'
I agreed to all he said with hesitation; and was losing myself in the reflection how I could possibly turn this piece of confidence to my own advantage, when the vizier accosted me again, and said:—
'I have only let you into one part of my scheme: the second object is, that you, Hajji, should accompany the ambassador in the capacity of his first mirza, or chief secretary. You, who are my friend and confidant, who know all my wishes, and who have an intimate knowledge of all that has occurred since the arrival of the infidels, you are precisely the man to fill this situation, and you will render me the greatest of services by accepting my proposal.'
However delighted I might have been at the prospect of becoming the chief of an embassy, yet when I was offered the inferior appointment, my feelings were very different. I felt that in quitting the situation I now enjoyed, I should leave the high road to preferment, to get into one of its crooked lanes. Besides, I strongly participated in the national antipathy, the horror of leaving one's country, and particularly dreaded the idea of going to sea; and when I came to reflect that the country to which I was likely to be sent was unknown land,—a land situated in eternal darkness, beyond the regions of the sun, and whose inhabitants were an unclean and unbelieving race,—I drew back from the vizier's offer with the fear of one who had the gulf of perdition placed before him.
The answer I made to the prime minister was by a string of cold assents, such as constantly hang on every Persian's lips, whatever may be his real feelings. I said, 'By my eyes; I am your servant; my ear is in your hand; whatever you ordain I am bound to obey'; and then remained mute as a stone.
The vizier easily discovered what passed within me, and said, 'If you dislike my offer, you are your own master, and another may easily be found to accept it. I have your advantage in view as well as my own. In the first place, you should immediately proceed to Ispahan, as the Shah's deputy, to collect a considerable portion of the presents intended to be sent by our court to the King of England, and which must be levied upon the inhabitants of that city. You would then have an opportunity of enriching yourself.'
I did not let the vizier proceed further. The temptation of returning to my native place in such a character, clothed with such powers, was too great to be withstood, and in a very altered tone I immediately exclaimed, with great earnestness:—
'By the salt of your highness, by your death, and by the beard of the Shah, I am ready to go. No other word need be said,—I will go wherever you command, were it even to fetch the father of all the Franks from the inmost chambers of the world below.'
'Be it so,' said the vizier; 'and as the first step towards it, go at once to Mirza Firouz, flatter and assure him that he is the only man in Persia fit to be sent upon such an embassy, and persuade him of the advantages that will accrue to him. Honour, riches, the goodwill of the Shah, and my protection all will abound; and at his return, God best knows to what heights he may not ascend. Throw out hints that some other man, some rival, whom you may discover, has been talked of for the situation, and you will see how easily he will swallow the bait. Go, and Allah be with you!'
I left his presence scarcely knowing whether I soared in the heavens, or trod on the earth. 'What,' said I to myself, 'shall I then attain the summit of all earthly happiness,—shall my long past prognostics at length be fulfilled,—and shall I indeed enter my native place, clothed with the kalaât of honour, armed with the hand of power, and mounted upon the steed of splendour? Let those who once scorned Hajji Baba, the barber's son, now beware, for they will have to deal with the Shah's deputy. Let those crowns, which once submitted to my razor, now be prostrate, for he who can cut the head off is at hand. Ye that have deprived me of my inheritance tremble, for the power of making you restore it is mine.'
Indulging in such like feelings, I am aware that I strutted along the street with a swell and dignity of manner which must have surprised every one who saw me. I could think of nothing save my approaching honours; and my mind was riveted by the one idea of seeing myself mounted on a finely caparisoned horse, adorned by a gold chain round its neck, and a silver tassel under its throat, preceded by my led horses, and my running footmen, and greeted by a deputation from the governor of the city, to welcome my arrival in my native place.
However, I proceeded to the house of Mirza Firouz, whom I found prepared to converse on the subject of the embassy, because the English elchi had already made proposals to him to the same effect as those which the grand vizier intended to make. Although I had attached myself almost exclusively to the service of the prime minister, yet I persevered in my friendship with the intended ambassador, who was glad to hear I was to accompany him. We talked long upon our future plans, as well as past adventures, and when, roaring with laughter, he asked whether I should now endeavour to regain possession of my faithless Shekerleb, I slipped away, not over-pleased to have that event of my life recalled to my recollection.
The next day, the Shah announced at the public audience his intention of sending Mirza Firouz to England as his representative, and the grand vizier ordered me to be in readiness to proceed to Ispahan, as soon as the proper firmans necessary to arm me with power should be prepared.
I will not tire the reader with a description of the numerous details of my preparatives for this expedition. He would sicken and I should blush at my vanity. It is sufficient to say that I travelled to Ispahan with all the parade of a man of consequence; and that I entered my native city with feelings that none but a Persian, bred and born in the cravings of ambition, can understand. I found myself at the summit of what, in my eyes, was perfect human bliss. Misfortune seemed to have taken its leave, and everything informed me that a new chapter in the book of my life was about to open. Hajji Baba, the barber's son, entered his native place as Mirza Hajji Baba, the Shah's deputy. Need I say more?
And here, gentle Reader! the humble translator of the Adventures of Hajji Baba presumes to address you, and profiting by the hint afforded him by the Persian story-tellers, stops his narrative, makes his bow, and says, 'Give me encouragement, and I will tell you more. You shall be informed how Hajji Baba accompanied a great ambassador to England, of their adventures by sea and land, of all he saw, and all he remarked, and of what happened to him on his return to Persia.' But he begs to add, should he find, like Hajji's friend the third dervish, he has not yet acquired the art of leading on the attention of the curious, he will never venture to appear again before the public until he has gained the necessary experience to ensure success. And so he very humbly takes his leave.
P.P.
FOOTNOTES.
1 (return)
[ It is perhaps almost
needless to remind the reader, that the Mussulmans are divided into two
inimical sects; viz. suni and shiah; and that the Turks are
of the former, and the Persians of the latter, persuasion. The Sunies
hold, that Omar, Osman and Abubekr, were the lawful successors of Mohamed.
The Shiahs assert that they were usurpers, and that Ali, his son-in-law,
was the next in succession.]
2 (return)
[ This is the Persian pipe,
made upon the principle of the Indian hookah.]
3 (return)
[ Officers whose duties are
to find quarters for the pilgrims, establish the prices of provisions,
make arrangements for their supply, regulate the hours of march, settle
disputes, announce the time of prayer, etc.]
4 (return)
[ This takes place in the
spring, when the sun enters Aries, and is called the No Ruz, or the new
day. The festival is not of Mohamedan origin, and dates from very remote
antiquity.]
5 (return)
[ By heel ropes is meant
those fastenings which are used to secures horses in the East.]
6 (return)
[ The Turcomans, as well as
the Turks, their descendants, are of the Suni persuasion: with them green
is a sacred colour; but it is not so among the Shiahs.]
7 (return)
[ The word Sultan,
which in Europe is generally used to designate the sovereign of Turkey,
among the Tartars, Turcomans, etc., means captain or chief, and is given
frequently to subalterns, as well as to those of higher rank.]
8 (return)
[ Banou implies a female head
or chief; thus in the Arabian Nights, Paribanou, or more
properly Peribanou means the chief of the fairies. The King of
Persia's principal wife is styled Banou Harem, chief of the harem.]
9 (return)
[ All classes of Mohamedans
shave the crown of the head. In Persia two patches of hair are left behind
each ear by way of curls. In Turkey, a tuft is left on the very summit of
the head.]
10 (return)
[ The Turks differ
materially from the Persians in their tastes for women, the one admiring
corpulency, whilst the latter show greater refinement, and esteem those
forms which are mostly prized in Europe.]
11 (return)
[ The races that take place
among the Turcomans and the Persians are intended to try the bottom,
rather than the actual speed of their horses.]
12 (return)
[ The bread here alluded to
is baked on small and convex iron plates, and when prepared is about the
thickness of brown paper.]
13 (return)
[ Rustam is the fabulous
hero of Persian history, so much celebrated in the Shah Nameh as a
paragon of strength and courage. His duel with Asfendiar, which lasted two
whole days, is the theme of Persian romance.]
14 (return)
[ A parasang is equivalent
to about three and a half geographical miles.]
15 (return)
[ A full-equipped horseman
in the East generally carries with him an iron peg, to which is affixed a
rope terminated by a noose, with which he pickets his horse wherever he
may alight. The rope is buttoned to the fore-leg, whilst the peg is driven
into the ground with a stone.]
16 (return)
[ A tomaun is the principal
gold coin of Persia, worth about 14s.]
17 (return)
[ The dinar is the smallest
denomination of money in Persia.]
18 (return)
[ Twenty-four grains make
one miscal.]
19 (return)
[ The loves of these
personages have been treated by various Oriental writers. Majnoun is
looked upon as the model of a lover, and Leilah as the most beautiful and
perfect of her sex.]
20 (return)
[ In sketching the history
of the poet Asker, the author has attempted to record part of the life of
the late Fatteh Ali Khan, poet- laureate to the Shah, a most ingenious and
amiable man, well known to the English who were at Tehran in the years
1812 and 1813.]
21 (return)
[ Seizing the skirt of a
man in authority, or the heel ropes of his horses in the stable, are as
great protection to a culprit in Persia as the precincts of a church are
in Roman Catholic countries.]
22 (return)
[ It is no uncommon
circumstance in Persia to find men of the lowest estate well versed in
their poets. The Persians are eminently a poetical people.]
23 (return)
[ The luties are privileged
buffoons, usually keeping monkeys, bears, and other animals.]
24 (return)
[ A ghauz is a small copper
coin.]
25 (return)
[ A beard is held so sacred
in the East, that every hair which grows upon a Mohamedan's chin is
protected from molestation by a heavy fine.]
26 (return)
[ The mohteshib is an
officer who perambulates the city, and examines weights and measures, and
qualities of provisions.]
27 (return)
[ Twenty shahies make the
groush, or piastre, which is worth about two shillings British.]
28 (return)
[ The felek is a long pole,
with a noose in the middle, through which the feet of him who is to be
bastinadoed are passed, whilst its extremities are held up by two men for
the two others who strike.]
29 (return)
[ Saadi, Hafiz, and the
Koran, are the three books to which the Persians most willingly refer for
this mode of divination. Its resemblance to that of the Sortes Virgilianoe
must occur to every reader.]
30 (return)
[ A Persian letter is
folded up like a lady's thread paper, and fastened in the middle by a slip
of adhesive paper, which is moistened with the tongue, and then stamped
with the seal of the writer. Thus, letters are frequently opened and
closed without detection.]
31 (return)
[ The stirrup, which is a
sort of iron shovel, sharp at the edge, in Persia as well as in Turkey, is
used by way of spur.]
32 (return)
[ The Persians have a
particular aversion to horses which have white legs on one side, which
they call chup; and they also very much undervalue a horse that has
the ableh, which consists of white leprous marks on its nose, round
the eyes, and under the tail.]
33 (return)
[ The chenar tree is a
species of sycamore.]
34 (return)
[ This alludes to tapping
in cases of dropsy,—an operation unknown among the Persians until
our surgeons taught it them.]
35 (return)
[ Locman is the most
celebrated of the Eastern sages, and is supposed by some to be the same as
Aesop. The title usually given to a doctor in Persia is Locman al zeman,
the Locman of his day.]
36 (return)
[ Isauvi, a follower
of Jesus.]
37 (return)
[ This is the most approved
form of speech among well- educated Persians whenever any allusion to the
mysteries of the harem is intended.]
38 (return)
[ A piastre is about two
shillings.]
39 (return)
[ This dye is used
throughout the whole of Asia, and produces a strong orange or auburn
colour. The Persians dye the whole of their hands as far as the wrist with
it, and also the soles of their feet. The Turks more commonly only tinge
the nails; both use it for the hair.]
40 (return)
[ The Yezeedies are a tribe
of the Curds, who are said to worship the devil.]
41 (return)
[ The Persians give the
most magnificent names to their negro slaves. Thus Nur Jehan means "light
of the world."]
42 (return)
[ Khanum is the title
usually given to a Persian lady, and is equivalent to "madam."]
43 (return)
[ The priest is so called
who invites the Mohamedans to prayers from the minaret, or from the roof
of the mosque.]
44 (return)
[ This no doubt relates to
certain mysterious and obscene customs which are said to be practised
among the Yezeedies, at the village of Kerrund, in the Curdistan, and
peculiar to the tribe of Nusiri, commonly called Chiragh Kush, or lamp
extinguishers. Antiquarians pretend in them to trace a resemblance to the
abominable worship of Venus, as practised by the Babylonians, and recorded
in Herodotus, book i. sect. cxcix.]
45 (return)
[ The cherkajis
(literally wheelers about) in Oriental armies are skirmishers, who are
thrown out from the main body to engage in the fight, and are generally
esteemed the most expert horsemen and the best soldiers.]
46 (return)
[ The point to which the
Mohamedans turn in prayer.]
47 (return)
[ Light of the world. The
Persians are apt to give high- sounding names to their slaves, and
particularly to the guardians of their women.]
48 (return)
[ Aga is used in the sense
of master.]
49 (return)
[ The surme is a
collyrium.]
50 (return)
[ The sham is, in truth,
the evening meal, and is served up at sunset.]
51 (return)
[ The ceremony of the pahendaz
consists in spreading rich stuffs for the king to walk upon.]
52 (return)
[ This is an ancient
Persian custom, and is supposed to secure good fortune—sweetness,
and consequently sugar, being an emblem of felicity.]
53 (return)
[ The musnud, in
Eastern acceptation, is, in fact, the throne; but on occasions such as the
one here described the mode of making a musnud is to double up a thick
carpet, by which means there is only room for one person to be seated upon
it.]
54 (return)
[ Catherine II. is so
styled by the Persians.]
55 (return)
[ Kizzil Bash, or Red Head,
is a sort of nickname given from old times to the Persians.]
56 (return)
[ The inner, or women's
apartment.]
57 (return)
[ Mumiai and pahzer
are antidotes in which the Persians have great faith. Our bezoar is
evidently a corruption of pahzer.]
58 (return)
[ This is a Persian idiom,
and is intended to denote the fascinations of a brunette.]
59 (return)
[ The jika is an
upright ornament worn in front of the crown, and is an insignia of
royalty.]
60 (return)
[ Roast meat.]
61 (return)
[ So Hippocrates is called
in Persia.]
62 (return)
[ The gate of the palace,
where public business is transacted.]
63 (return)
[ Perhaps the description
of this personage will bring to the recollection of those who were in
Persia in the years 1813 and 1814 the character of the nasakchi bashi of
that day.]
64 (return)
[ Luti here is used in the
sense of polisson.]
65 (return)
[ Celebrated heroes in the
Shah Nameh, a book which is believed, by the present Persians, to
contain their ancient history.]
66 (return)
[ Strict Mussulmans hold
silk unclean.]
67 (return)
[ In the direction of
Mecca.]
68 (return)
[ The third month in the
Arabic calendar.]
69 (return)
[ A ghez is not quite a
yard.]
70 (return)
[ Shir bi pir—a
lion without a saint, is a favourite Persian epithet, when applied to a
desperado, a fellow without compassion.]
72 (return)
[ A maun is seven pounds
and a half; a miscal, twenty-four grains.]
73 (return)
[ The Shah's great diamond,
which he wears in one of his armlets, is called the koh nur, or the
mountain of light.]
74 (return)
[ The camel tie is made by
fastening the lower and upper limb of one of the forelegs together, which
is done to prevent an unruly animal from straying from the pasture
ground.]
75 (return)
[ It is supposed that the
instruments here alluded to were hand-grenades.]
76 (return)
[ Hassan Khan Serdan, the
governor of Erivan, was said to have attacked Armenian villages in the
manner here described, by throwing grenades into the houses from the
orifice at the top.]
77 (return)
[ This is a circumstance
which is said to have really happened.]
78 (return)
[ I.e. Mecca, to which all
Mohamedans turn in their prayers.]
79 (return)
[ Khon-khor, literally
"blood-drinker"; so the Sultan of Roum, or Turkey, is styled in Persia.]
80 (return)
[ The kabob shops at
Constantinople are eating-houses, where, at a moment's notice, a dish of
roast meat, and small bits of meat done on skewers, are served up to
whoever asks for them.]
81 (return)
[ So the Persians call
Freemasons, about whom they are very inquisitive.]
82 (return)
[ Sheikh Attar and
Jelaledin Rumi are the two great doctors of the Sufies.]
83 (return)
[ A mollah who is a
schoolmaster is also styled ahkon.]
84 (return)
[ It is a popular belief
that near the city of Kashan there exists a well of fabulous depth, at the
bottom of which are found enchanted groves and gardens.]
85 (return)
[ A real is about two
shillings—eight reals one tomaun.]
86 (return)
[ Peder sukhteh is the most
common term of abuse in a Persian's mouth. It implies "one whose father is
burning in eternal fires."
87 (return)
[ Quarantine, we presume,
is meant here.]
88 (return)
[ The word rishweh,
"bribery," is also used for "manure" in agriculture.]
Printed by R.& R. CLARK, Edinburgh