What?

PHILIP

You see, I have Miss Pallestri in my collection.

PRINCE

What ... what sort of collection is that?

LOLO

There must be some kind of mistake here, Your Highness. I can not recall....

PHILIP

Of course, you can't, for I don't suppose you could feel that I was cutting out your picture from a newspaper at Krems?

LOLO

No, thank heaven!

PHILIP

It was one of our amusements at school, you know. There was one who cut out all the crimes and disasters he could get hold of.

LOLO

What a dreadful fellow that must have been!

PHILIP

And there was one who went in for historical personalities, like North Pole explorers and composers and that kind of people. And I used to collect theatrical ladies. Ever so much more pleasant to look at, you know. I have got two hundred and thirteen—which I'll show you sometime, papa. Quite interesting, you know. With a musical comedy star from Australia among the rest.

LOLO

I didn't know Your Highness had a son—and such a big one at that.

PHILIP

Yes, I have been hiding my light under a bushel so far.

PRINCE

And now you are trying to make up for it, I should say.

LOLO

Oh, please let him, Your Highness. I prefer young people like him to be a little vif.

PHILIP

So you are going to retire to private life, Miss Pallestri? That's too bad. Just when I might have the pleasure at last of seeing you on those boards that signify the world....

LOLO

That's awfully kind of Your Highness, but unfortunately one hasn't time to wait for the youth that's still growing. And the more mature ones are beginning to find my vintage a little out of date, I fear.

PRINCE

They say that you are about to be married.

LOLO

Yes, I am about to enter the holy state of matrimony.

PHILIP

And who is the happy man, if I may ask?

LOLO

Who is he? Why, he is waiting outside now—with that carriage.

MIZZIE

Why—a coachman?

LOLO

But, Countess—a coachman, you say?! Only in the same manner as when your papa himself—beg your pardon!—happens to be taking the bay out for a spin at times. Cab owner, that's what my fiancé is—and house owner, and a burgess of Vienna, who gets on the box himself only when it pleases him and when there is somebody of whom he thinks a whole lot. Now he is driving for a certain Baron Radeiner—whom he has just brought out here to see your father, Countess. And I am having my doubts about that Baron Radeiner.

PHILIP

Permit me to introduce myself—Baron Radeiner.

LOLO

So that's you, Your Highness?

PHILIP

I have let nobody but Wasner drive me since I came here.

LOLO

And under an assumed name at that, Your Highness? Well, we are finding out a lot of nice things about you!

COUNT (appears, very hot)

Well, here I am. (Taking in the situation) Ah!

LOLO

Your humble servant, Count! I have taken the liberty—I wanted to thank you for the magnificent flowers.

COUNT

Oh, please—it was a great pleasure....

PRINCE

And here, old friend, is my son Philip.

PHILIP

I regard myself as greatly honored, Count.

COUNT (giving his hand to Philip)

I bid you welcome to my house. Please consider yourself at home here.—I don't think any further introductions are required.

MIZZIE

No, papa.

COUNT (slightly embarrassed)

It's very charming of you, my dear lady. Of course, you know better than anybody that I have always been one of your admirers.... But tell me, please, how in the world did you get out here? I have just been taking a walk along the main road, where every carriage has to pass, and I didn't see you.

LOLO

What do you take me for, Count? My cab days are past now. I came by the train, which is the proper thing for me.

COUNT

I see.... But I hear that your fiancé himself....

LOLO

Oh, he has more pretentious customers to look after.

PHILIP

Yes, I have just had the pleasure of being conducted here by the fiancé of Miss Pallestri.

COUNT

Is Wasner driving for you? Well, that settles it—of course—clear psychological connection! (Offers his cigar case) Want a smoke?

PHILIP (accepting)

Thank you.

PRINCE

But, Philip...! A monster like that before lunch!

COUNT

Excellent. Nothing better for the health. And I like you. Suppose we sit down.

[The Count, the Prince and Philip seat themselves, while Mizzie and Lolo remain standing close to them.

COUNT

So you'll be off with your father to-morrow?

PHILIP

Yes, Count. And I'm tremendously pleased to think of it.

COUNT

Will you be gone long?

PRINCE

That depends on several circumstances.

PHILIP

I have to report myself at the regiment on the first of October.

PRINCE

And it's possible that I may go farther south after that.

COUNT

Well, that's news. Where?

PRINCE (with a glance at Mizzie)

Egypt, and the Sudan maybe—for a little hunting.

MIZZIE (to Lolo)

Let me show you the park.

LOLO

It's a marvel. Ours isn't a patch on it, of course. (She and Mizzie come forward)

MIZZIE

Have you a garden at your place, too?

LOLO

Certainly. As well as an ancestral palace—at Ottakring.⁷ The great-grandfather of Wasner was in the cab business in his days already.—My, but that's beautiful! The way those flowers are hanging down. I must have something just like it.

COUNT (disturbed)

Why are the ladies leaving us?

MIZZIE

Never mind, papa, I'm merely explaining the architecture of our façade.

PHILIP

Do you often get visits of theatrical ladies, Count?

COUNT

No, this is merely an accident.

[The men stroll off toward those parts of the garden that are not visible.

MIZZIE

It seems strange that I have never before had a chance of meeting you. I am very glad to see you.

LOLO (with a grateful glance)

And so I am. Of course, I have known you by sight these many years. Often and often have I looked up at your box.

MIZZIE

But not at me.

LOLO

Oh, that's all over now.

MIZZIE

Do you know, I really feel a little offended—on his behalf.

LOLO

Offended, you say...?

MIZZIE

It will be a hard blow for him. Nobody knows better than I how deeply he has been attached to you. Although he has never said a word to me about it.

LOLO

Do you think it's so very easy for me either, Countess? But tell me. Countess, what else could I do? I am no longer a spring chicken, you know. And one can't help hankering for something more settled. As long as I had a profession of my own, I could allow myself—what do they call it now?—to entertain liberal ideas. It goes in a way with the position I have held. But how would that look now, when I am retiring to private life?

MIZZIE

Oh, I can see that perfectly. But what is he going to do now?

LOLO

Why shouldn't he marry, too? I assure you, Countess, that there are many who would give all their five fingers.... Don't you realize, Countess, that I, too, have found it a hard step to take?

MIZZIE

Do you know what I have been wondering often? Whether he never thought of making you his wife?

LOLO

Oh, yes, that's just what he wanted.

MIZZIE

Why...?!

LOLO

Do you know when he asked me the last time, Countess? Less than a month ago.

MIZZIE

And you said no?

LOLO

I did. It would have done no good. Me a Countess! Can you imagine it? I being your stepmother, Countess...! Then we could not have been chatting nicely as we are doing now.

MIZZIE

If you only knew how sympathetically you affect me....

LOLO

But I don't want to appear better than I am. And who knows what I might....

MIZZIE

What might you?

LOLO

Well, this is the truth of it. I have gone clear off my head about Wasner. Which I hope won't make you think the worse of me. In all these eighteen years I have had nothing to blame myself with, as far as your dear papa is concerned. But you can't wonder if my feelings began to cool off a little as the years passed along. And rather than to make your dear papa—oh, no, no, Countess ... I owe him too much gratitude for that.... Lord!

MIZZIE

What is it?

LOLO

There he is now, looking right at me.

MIZZIE (looks in the direction indicated)

WASNER (who has appeared at the entrance, raises his tall hat in salute)

LOLO

Don't you think me an awful fool, Countess? Every time I catch sight of him suddenly, my heart starts beating like everything. Yes, there's no fool like an old one.

MIZZIE

Old...? Do you call yourself old? Why, there can't be much difference between us.

LOLO

Oh, mercy.... (With a glance at Mizzie)

MIZZIE

I am thirty-seven.—No, don't look at me with any pity. There is no cause for that. None whatever.

LOLO (apparently relieved)

I have heard some whispers. Countess—of course, I didn't believe anything. But I thank heaven it was true. (They shake hands)

MIZZIE

I should like to congratulate your fiancé right now, if you'll permit me.

LOLO

That's too sweet of you—but what about the Count—perhaps he wouldn't like...?

MIZZIE

My dear, I have always been accustomed to do as I pleased. (They go together toward the entrance)

WASNER

You're too kind, Countess....

[The Count, the Prince and Philip have reappeared in the meantime.

COUNT

Look at that, will you!

WASNER

Good morning, Count. Good morning, Highness.

PRINCE

I say, Wasner, you may just as well take your bride home in that trap of yours. My son is coming with me.

WASNER

Your son...?

PHILIP

Why haven't you told me that you were engaged, Wasner?

WASNER

Well, there are things you haven't told either ... Mr. von Radeiner!

COUNT (to Lolo)

Thank you very much for your friendly visit, and please accept my very best wishes.

LOLO

The same to you, Count. And I must say, that when one has such a daughter....

MIZZIE

It's too bad I haven't come to know you before.

LOLO

Oh, really, Countess....

MIZZIE

Once more, my dear Miss Lolo, good luck to you! (Mizzie embraces Lolo)

COUNT (looks on with surprise and some genuine emotion)

LOLO

I thank you for the kind reception, Count—and good-by!

COUNT

Good-by, Miss Langhuber. I trust you'll be happy ... indeed I do, Lolo.

LOLO (gets into the carriage which has driven up to the gate in the meantime)

WASNER (is on the box, hat in hand; they drive off)

MIZZIE (waves her hand at them as they disappear)

PHILIP (who has been standing in the foreground with the Prince) Oh, my dear papa, I can see through the whole story.

PRINCE

You can?

PHILIP

This Miss Lolo must be the natural daughter of the Count, and a sister of the Countess—her foster-sister, as they say.

PRINCE

No, you would call that a step-sister. But go on, Mr. Diplomat.

PHILIP

And of course, both are in love with you—both the Countess and the ballet dancer. And this marriage between the dancer and Wasner is your work.

PRINCE

Go on.

PHILIP

You know—there's something I never thought of until just now!

PRINCE

What?

PHILIP

I don't know if I dare?

PRINCE

Why so timid all at once?

PHILIP

Supposing my mother was not dead....

PRINCE

H'm....

PHILIP

And, through a remarkable combination of circumstances, she should now be going back to the city in the very carriage that brought me out here...? And suppose it should be my own mother, whose picture I cut out of that newspaper...?

PRINCE

My lad, you'll certainly end as a cabinet minister—Secretary of Agriculture, if nothing better.—But now it's time for us to say good-by.

[The Count and Mizzie are coming forward again.

PRINCE

Well, my dear friend, this must be our farewell call, I am sorry to say.

COUNT

But why don't you stay.... That would be delightful ... if you could take lunch with us....

PRINCE

Unfortunately, it isn't possible. We have an appointment at Sacher's.⁸

COUNT

That's really too bad. And shall I not see you at all during the Summer?

PRINCE

Oh, we shall not be entirely out of touch.

COUNT

And are you starting to-morrow already?

PRINCE

Yes.

COUNT

Where are you going?

PRINCE

To the sea shore—Ostend.

COUNT

Oh, you are bound for Ostend. I have long wanted to go there.

PRINCE

But that would be fine....

COUNT

What do you think, Mizzie? Let's be fashionable. Let's go to Ostend, too.

MIZZIE

I can't answer yet. But there's no reason why you shouldn't go, papa.

PHILIP

That would be delightful, Countess. It would please me awfully.

MIZZIE (smiling)

That's very kind of you, Philip. (She holds out her hand to him)

PHILIP (kisses her hand)

COUNT (to the Prince)

The children seem to get along beautifully.

PRINCE

Yes, that's what I have been thinking. Good-by then. Good-by, my dear Mizzie. And good-by to you, my dear old fellow. I hope at least to see you again at Ostend.

COUNT

Oh, she'll come along. Won't you, Mizzie? After all, you can get studios by the sea shore, too. Or how about it, Mizzie?

MIZZIE (remains silent)

PRINCE

Well, until we meet again! (He shakes hands with the Count and Mizzie)

PHILIP (kisses the hand of Mizzie once more)

COUNT (giving his hand to Philip)

It has been a great pleasure.

[The Prince and Philip go out through the gate and step into the carriage which has been driving up in the meantime, and which now carries them off. The Count and Mizzie come forward again and seat themselves at the table under the tree. Pause.

COUNT

Hasn't this been a queer day?

MIZZIE

All life is queer—only we forget it most of the time.

COUNT

I suppose you're right. (Pause)

MIZZIE

You know, papa, you might just as well have brought us together a little earlier.

COUNT

Who? Oh, you and....

MIZZIE

Me and Miss Lolo. She's a dear.

COUNT

So you like her? Well, if it were only possible to know in advance.... But what's the use? Now it's all over.

MIZZIE (takes hold of his hand)

COUNT (rises and kisses her on the forehead; strolls about aimlessly for a few seconds) Tell me, Mizzie, what you think.... How do you like the boy?

MIZZIE

Philip? Oh, rather fresh.

COUNT

Fresh, perhaps, but smart. I hope he'll stay in the army. That's a much more sensible career than the diplomatic service. Slow, but sure. All you need is to live long enough in order to become a general. But a political career.... Now look at Egon ... three times he has almost become a minister.... And suppose he had succeeded? (Walking back and forth) Yes, yes ... we shall be rather lonely this Summer.

MIZZIE

But why shouldn't you go to Ostend, papa?

COUNT

Yes, why not...? Really, won't you come along? It would be rather ... without you, you know.... It's no use looking at me like that. I know! I haven't paid as much attention to you in the past as I should have....

MIZZIE (taking his hand again)

Oh, papa, you're not going to apologize, are you? I understand perfectly.

COUNT

Oh, well. But, you see, I shall not get much joy out of that trip without you. And what would you be doing here, all by yourself? You can't paint all day long.

MIZZIE

The only trouble is ... the Prince has asked me to marry him.

COUNT

What? Is it possible? No, you don't mean.... And ... and you said no?

MIZZIE

Practically.

COUNT

You did...? Oh, well.... After all, I have never tried to persuade you. It must be as you.... But I can't understand why. I have noticed for a long time, that he.... As far as age is concerned, you wouldn't be badly matched. And as for the rest ... sixty millions are not to be despised exactly. But just as you say.

MIZZIE (remains silent)

COUNT

Or could it possibly be on account of the boy? That would be to exaggerate the matter, I assure you. Things of that kind occur in the very best families. And particularly when you consider that his heart always remained with his wife.... All of a sudden you get dragged into an affair of that kind without exactly knowing how.

MIZZIE

And some poor girl of the people is thrown aside and allowed to go to the dogs.

COUNT

Oh, please, that's only in the books. And how could he help it? That kind of women seem always to die off early. And who knows what he might have done, if she hadn't died.... I really think that his action in regard to the boy has been pretty decent. That took courage, you know. I could tell you more than one case.... But don't let us talk of it. If that should be the only thing against him, however.... And besides, our being together at Ostend wouldn't commit you in any way.

MIZZIE

No, that's true.

COUNT

Well, then ... I tell you what. You make the trip with me. And if the place suits you, you can stay. If not, you can go on to London for a visit with Aunt Lora. I mean simply, that there is no sense in your letting me go away alone.

MIZZIE

All right.

COUNT

What do you mean?

MIZZIE

I'll go with you. But without any obligation—absolutely free.

COUNT

You'll come with me, you say?

MIZZIE

I will, papa.

COUNT

Oh, I'm so glad. Thank you, Mizzie.

MIZZIE

Why should you thank me? It's a pleasure to me.

COUNT

You can't imagine, of course ... without you, Mizzie.... There would be so much to remember—this time in particular.... You know, of course, that I took Lolo to Normandy last year?

MIZZIE

Of course, I know....

COUNT

And as far as Egon is concerned ... not that I want to persuade you by any means ... but in a strange place like that you often get more acquainted with a person in a couple of days than during many years at home.

MIZZIE

It's settled now that I go with you, papa. And as for the rest, don't let us talk of it—for the time being.

COUNT

Then, you know, I'm going to telephone to the ticket office at once and reserve sleeping car compartments for the day after to-morrow—or for to-morrow.

MIZZIE

Are you in such a hurry?

COUNT

What's the use of sitting about here, once we have made up our minds? So I'll telephone.... Does that suit you?

MIZZIE

Yes.

COUNT (puts his arms about her)

PROFESSOR WINDHOFER (appears at the garden gate)

COUNT

Why, there's the professor. Have you a lesson to-day?

MIZZIE

I had forgotten it, too.

PROFESSOR (handsome; about thirty-five; his beard is blond and trimmed to a point; he is very carefully dressed, and wears a gray overcoat; he takes off his hat as he enters the garden and comes forward)

Good morning, Countess. How do you do, Count?

COUNT

Good morning, my dear Professor, and how are you? You have to pardon me. I was just about to go to the telephone—we are going away, you know.

PROFESSOR

Oh, are you going away? Please, don't let me detain you.

COUNT

I suppose I shall see you later, Professor. (He goes into the house)

PROFESSOR

So you are going away, Countess?

MIZZIE

Yes, to Ostend.

PROFESSOR

That's rather a sudden decision.

MIZZIE

Yes, rather. But that's my way.

PROFESSOR

That means an end to the lessons for the present, I suppose? Too bad.

MIZZIE

I don't think I shall be able to-day even ... I am feeling a little upset.

PROFESSOR

Do you?—Well, you look rather pale, Maria.

MIZZIE

Oh, you think so?

PROFESSOR

And how long will you be gone?

MIZZIE

Until the Fall probably—perhaps until very late in the Fall even.

PROFESSOR

Then we can resume our lessons next November at the earliest, I suppose?

MIZZIE (smiling)

I don't think we shall....

PROFESSOR

Oh, you don't think so? (They look hard at each other)

MIZZIE

No, I don't.

PROFESSOR

Which means, Maria—that I am discharged.

MIZZIE

How can you put it that way, Rudolph? That is not quite fair.

PROFESSOR

Pardon me. But it really came a little more suddenly than I had expected.

MIZZIE

Better that than have it come too slow. Don't you think so?

PROFESSOR

Well, girl, I have no intention whatever to make any reproaches.

MIZZIE

Well, you have no reason. And it wouldn't be nice either. (She holds out her hand to him)

PROFESSOR (takes her hand and kisses it)

Will you please excuse me to the Count?

MIZZIE

Are you going already...?

PROFESSOR (unconcernedly)

Isn't that better?

MIZZIE (after a pause, during which she looks straight into his eyes) Yes, I think so. (They shake hands)

PROFESSOR

Good luck, Maria.

MIZZIE

Same to you.... And remember me to your wife and the children.

PROFESSOR

I won't forget, Countess. (He goes out)

MIZZIE (remains on the same spot for a little while, following him with her eyes)

COUNT (on the terrace)

Everything is ready. We'll leave at nine-thirty to-morrow night.—But what has become of the professor?

MIZZIE

I sent him away.

COUNT

Oh, you did?—And can you guess who has the compartment between yours and mine?... Egon and his young gentleman. Won't they be surprised though?

MIZZIE

Yes ... won't they? (She goes into the house)

CURTAIN

Footnotes

THE LONELY WAY

¹ The Prater is at once the Central Park and the Coney Island of Vienna, plus a great deal more—a park with an area of 2,000 acres bounded by the Danube on one side and by the Danube Canal on the other, full of all kinds of amusement places.

² The place where the Turks fortified themselves before driven from Vienna by John Sobieski in 1683 is now a small park, "Türkenschanz-Park," located in Döbling, one of the northwestern quarters of Greater Vienna. Only a little ways south of this park, and overlooking it, stands the Astronomical Observatory, not far from which Schnitzler has been living for a number of years. Numerous references to localities in this play indicate that he has placed the Wegrat home in that very villa quarter of Währing, where he himself is so thoroughly at home.

³ A suburb near the western limits of Vienna and not far from the location indicated for the Wegrat home.

⁴ The palace of Mirabell is one of the sights of Salzburg, the city near the Bavarian border, where Felix's regiment was stationed. It is now used as a museum. The gardens adjoining it are of the formal type so dear to, and so characteristic of, the eighteenth century.

⁵ One of the main routes through the Dolomites, leading from Southern Tirol into Italy. It is in part identical with the route outlined by Albert in "Intermezzo," but parts from it at Cortina to run straight south.

⁶ Former villages, now suburbs of Vienna, lying still nearer the city limits than Dornbach, where Sala is living.

INTERMEZZO

¹ A small Bohemian city near the border of Upper Austria. On a high rock, with a wonderful view along the river Moldau, stands the Schwarzenberg castle, which the author seems to have had in mind.

² The names used in this passage occur a number of times in the various plays, indicating that their author probably has been drawing on experiences obtained during his own walking tours through the Dolomites. As far as Cortina, the route is identical with the one mentioned by Wegrath in "The Lonely Way." The Giau Pass is a little known footpath across Monte Giau, showing that the intention of Albert is to avoid the routes frequented by tourists.

³ Tatyana and Onyegin are characters in the opera "Eugène Onyegin," by Tschaikovsky, which is founded on Pushkin's famous poem of the same name.

⁴ A valley along the river Rienz, marking the northern limit of the Dolomite ranges in the Tirol.

⁵ This refers to a habit of Emperor William's, from whom the Italian composer, Leoncavallo, among others, once received such an order.

⁶ A large collection of art works and other antiquities, recovered by excavations on the site of the ancient city of Pergamon in Asia Minor, are kept in the Pergamene Museum, Berlin.

⁷ A large park in the center of Berlin, corresponding to the Central Park of New York or the Hyde Park of London.