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the Viceroy, he was positively ignorant on the subject and referred
me to the Mormon PROPHET. Got into an ice ship,
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slid away over the snow to Utah, saw the Prophet, he had heard of it
but did not know where I should get it, but I might at least ask the
SACHAM of the Flat-Head Indians, I jumped into a dog-sleigh,
scampered away, hailed the
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Sachem, but he did not know, but perhaps the PRESIDENT of Peru did,
rode on a one-man sedan to the City of Earthquakes,
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saw the President, he did not know, but would I be so good as ask the
EMPEROR of Brazil, I sprang on to the back of a llama, flopped away
to Rio;
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the American Emperor said he did not know himself, but surely the
SHEIKH of Timbuctoo ought to tell. I jumped into a canoe, crossed
the Atlantic,
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reached the Negro city, asked the Sheikh, he said it was like my
impudence asking him, how should he know such a thing? none of the
traditions of the negro continent mentioned it, but if I thought such
a thing existed I had better ask his Sublime Mightiness the SULTAN of
Zanzibar, I jumped on the back of an ostrich, strode away to the
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Isle of Beauty, saw the Sultan, he shook his head and referred me to
the NEGUS of Abyssinia, I was carried rapidly in a head palenkeen on
the heads of four
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negroes to Magdala, spoke to the Negus, he referred me to the KHEDIVE
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of Egypt, I got into a water-velocipede, trod away up the Red Sea to
the city of the Pyramids, saw the Khedive, he referred me to the
SHERIF of Mecca, I at once bestrode a donkey, cantered
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away to the Sacred City, asked the custodian of the Precious Tomb of
the Great Prophet, the query nonplussed him, and he desired me to
wait on the IMAUN of Muscat, I mounted a camel,
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ambled across to the hot city of the Imaun, he could not say but
referred me to the RAO of Cutch, I made for Bhooj on a raft, spoke to
the Rao, he
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had not got one, but referred me to the GUICOWAR of Gujerat and
considerately lent me a pair of ten-feet stilts for the
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journey. I waded from the City of Dismal Swamps and finally reached
Baroda on my stilts, saw the Guicowar, he had never heard of the
article, but referred me to the HIGH PRIEST of the Parsees, I got
into a sedan, was borne
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to Bombay, saw the head of the Parsee Faith, he had not the article,
did not believe that it existed, as it was not mentioned in any of
the sacred books of the Parsees, but finally referred me to the BIBY
of Canonore, I mounted an Elephant
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stamped down the coast, addressed the Biby, she said it was the first
time she had heard of the article, but the MAHARAJAH of Mysore might
have one. I stepped into a palenkeen
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Sitting in Sedan carried by four Locals.
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and four men trotted away to Mysore, the Great Rajah said he had not
got one, perhaps the NIZAM of Hyderabad could assist me. I got into a
horse-sedan, went
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to Hyderabad, saw the Nizam, he did not know and suggested the GRAND
MAHUNT of Benares. I got into a horse-palenkeen, made straight for
the
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City of the Sacred Shrines, saw the head of the Hindoo Faith, he did
not know where it could be got, but had I asked the THACKOOR of
Bhrownnuggar? No!—or the Swat of Ackoond, or the Mudor of
Cassala,
or the Hospodar of Wallachia, or the Aboona of Gondar or the
Patriarch of Constantinople, or the Archbishop of Canterbury? I said
most decidedly not—that I would not waste my time consulting
such
insignificant magnates, then, says he, just you ask the GURO of the
Sikhs. I jumped astride of a Bramah Bull, and
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trotted away to Amritsar; saw the head of the Sikh Faith, he had not
got the article, had not heard of it, but advised me to apply to the
AMEER of Afghanistan. I got into an ox dooly and at
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length reached Cabul, saw the Ameer, he had not got it, had not seen
it, nor heard of it, did not believe the article existed, but the
KHAN of Bokhara could speak more positively about it. I got into a
Tocan or Hamockeen and was
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carried by two men to Bokhara, interviewed the Khan, he said it was
absurd for the Ameer to send to him, he knew nothing about it, but
the SHAH of Persia probably did. I got into a mule sleigh,
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glided away to Teheran, enquired of the Shah, could get no
satisfaction, he never heard of it, was I sure there was such an
article in existence? I told him that I wanted to find out, but I
thought there must be somewhere. Oh, then, said he, try the CHIEF
RABBI of Jerusalem. I got into a coach, tore away to
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the Holy City of the Jews, asked the head of the Jewish Faith, he had
not one, I had better ask the PASHA of Damascus. I jumped astride of
a bicycle,
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trundled away to the oldest city in the world; asked the Pasha, he
could not say, I had better ask the EMIR of the Druses. I creeped up
the Lebanon in a bullock-waggon, saw and asked the
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head of the Druse Faith, he referred me to the BEY of Tunis. I got on
to a tricycle, rode to Tunis, saw the Bey,
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he could not tell, perhaps the POPE of Rome could. I jumped into a
ship,
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made for the Eternal City, asked the head of the Christian Church,
His Holiness could not tell, perhaps the GRAND SEIGNEUR of Turkey
might. I stepped into a railway steam carriage, swept
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around to the Golden Horn; saw His Sublime Mightiness the PADISHAW,
he
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said that he had not got one and never heard of it; but when I
described to him, in clear, concise and glowing terms, the real value
of the article to the whole human race, he said that every person
black or white, or brown, or yellow, or red, or any other colour
whatever, in the world, should have one and that it was the duty of
all Kings and Queens and Emperors, and Sultans, and Czars, and
Keizars, and Khedives and Khans, and Shahs, and Ameers, and Deys, and
Beys, and Great Chams, and Grand Lamas, to see that every one of
their subjects obtained one without delay. I said those were exactly
my sentiments; but where was it to be got. He again graciously
assured me that he did not know, bit I might ask the GRAND MUFTI of
Turkey, the fountain of all human knowledge, and custodian of the
sacred Koran. I tore along in a goat-carriage, interviewed the head
of
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the Mahometan Faith; but in answer to my query this Mighty Spiritual
Magnate seemed taken aback; he affirmed that the Koran did not
mention the article, and, therefore, he believed that it could not
exist, but had I made a thorough search for it; had I tried the Dey
of Algiers. I answered no! Had I tried the Doge of Venice—the
Elector of Saxony—the Begum of Oude—the Stadholder of
Holland—
the Peishwa of Poona—the Nabob of Bengal—the Caliph of
Bagdad—
the Inca of Peru, or the great Mogul. I looked at the Grand Mufti in
speechless astonishment; he might as well have asked me if I had
enquired of Pharaoh or Nebuchadnezzer. I shook my head and rushed
from his presence, completely nonplussed, bewildered, frantic. Where
on earth was I to get the article? I had asked, and asked, and asked
again, and was tired of asking. I had travelled fifty thousand miles
by forty different modes of conveyance; consulted in their own
capitals with thirty secular monarchs, governing three-fourths of the
world; and I had with earnest, respectful enquiry approached the
sacerdotal thrones of the spiritual monarchs of the eleven principal
religions of mankind, and yet I could get no tidings of it. What was
I to do? I was now standing in front of the great Mosque at
Constantinople almost frantic with perplexity; some one approached
and handed me a printed announcement. I read it! It sent an
inexpressible thrill through me. I immediately took a steamer
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for Melbourne, landed there, jumped into a cab, went straight to
Cole's Book
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Arcade, and saw a drawing of the very article I had ransacked the
world over to obtain, and what do you think it was? It was a FLYING
MACHINE! I wanted a flying machine, Mr. Cole informed me that he had
not got his machine to fly yet, and that in all the world a machine
was not yet invented that would fly, but that, through the active and
progressive ingenuity of the human intellect, such a machine was
certain to be invented in the future, and as an earnest of his strong
conviction he handed me a document, which ran as follows:—
October 31st. 1882
I, the undersigned, firmly believe that as
man has already made
—E. W. Cole
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Cole's Flying Machine A workable flying machine would be the grandest invention of the age. My offer may not bring it about, but suppose a shilling subscription was made throughout the civilised world; say twenty million people gave 1/- each. That would be one million pounds, and offer that as a bonus for a useful flying machine, that bonus, I am sure, would produce the article. The shillings would be well spent, and it would immortalise the twenty million people who put their names down.
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The Federation Of The Whole World Is Fast Coming.
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My prophecy with regard to flying machines, as may well be seen by
the original statement herewith, was made twenty-eight years before
the French aviator brought his machine to Australia which was on 2nd
November, 1910, or two weeks before his successful flight.
Subsequently Mr. Hammond flew over the city. He remarked: "I was to early for breakfast, and just thirty years too late to claim E. W. Cole's prize of £1,000." I believe that the advance of flying machines will be so rapid that within the next decade they will be used with as much ease and safety as any other means of present locomotion. I will further state that their utility will be so great as to enable China, with her three hundred millions, to succeed in taking correct statistics. And eventually the velocity with which they will fly may materially assist in establishing the peace of the world and the Parliament of Man. My prophecy with regard to flying machines was made in 1868, and the bonus of £1,000 (see previous page) was offered in 1882.
—E. W. Cole
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The above are facsimiles of 16 of 50 of E. W. Cole's World
Federation Motto-Medals.
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Mr. H. Hawker,
The Man Who Flew. Mr. Hawker was born at Brighton, Victoria, on 22nd January, 1889. He went to England in 1911, returning to Victoria in 1914, after three years experience of aviation in England. He just missed the £5000 prize given by the "Daily Mail" for a flight around the British Isles, meeting with an accident off the coast of Ireland.
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Miss Linda Cole
Whose Flight with Mr. Hawker attained 4000 ft.
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Mr. E. W. Cole
Prophesied Flying Machines and lived to see one of his daughters fly,
and thus fulfilled his prophecy.
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Miss Cole Entering The Sopwith Biplane Preparatory To Flying
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Photograph of Distant Biplane.
Miss Cole And Mr. Harry Hawker
Poster: Various Planes Circling the Earth.
Companions In Space
Our World surrounded by one of the latest Inventions of man—"The
Flying Machine."
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Aviation In Melbourne
Passengers Accompany Harry Hawker To The Clouds. It was Mr. E. W. Cole's enthusiasm and belief in the ultimate success of aerial navigation that induced Miss Linda Cole to fly with Mr. Hawker, the daring young aviator, at Elsternwick recently. Miss Cole was perfectly calm and collected when entering the biplane, and showed no signs of "nerviness." During the flight around St. Kilda, Brighton and Sandringham, and across the waters of Hobson's Bay, she conversed freely with Mr. Hawker, and commented on the panoramic views which unfolded themselves below. Miss Cole, having heard that Mr. Hawker had some intention of flying on a non-stop journey from Sydney to Melbourne—a distance of 500 miles—was most anxious to accompany him, provided the Sopwith biplane would carry two persons in addition to the tank of petrol which would, of course, be indispensable. Mr. Hawker, however, says he would not take a passenger should he undertake the journey. Miss Cole is most anxious for another sea flight, as she is of opinion that the power to see through the water to the bottom of the ocean is one of the utmost importance, as it would, in warfare, enable aviators to locate with accuracy mines in harbours and any other submerged dangers. Her most ardent wish is to become a lady aviator, and she is contemplating a trip to Europe to obtain up-to-date instruction in the aerial art. The reason Miss Cole went up was because her father has always taken a great interest in aviation, and many years ago offered substantial prizes to constructors of airships. He has ever evinced great faith in the ultimate triumph of aerial navigation, and she is glad that his dreams are being realised. Miss Cole went up on Friday, on the thirteenth of the month. Friday and the number 13 are considered unlucky; but all big events in her life have been associated with the number 13.
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Miss Cole Leaves The Aeroplane
After Having Experienced Her First Trip in the Art of Flying, at
Elsternwick, on Friday, 13th February, 1914.
Photograph: Biplane in Flight.
Minister Of Defence (Mr. Millen) Soars Aloft.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Small Photographs of Various Aeroplanes.
Every Girl's Name And Its Meaning.
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This is perhaps the Choicest Collection of
Girls' Names in the English Language To the Reader.—I beg to make one very important remark upon this immense variety of girl's names, and that is:—Be sure and preserve the list carefully, as it will serve from which to choose names for your daughters up to the number of 555, without using the same name over again. P.S.—If you should be very, very lucky, and have more than 555 daughters, and want more names, call on Professor Cole, at the Book Arcade, Melbourne, Australia, and he will give you an extra list.
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555 NAMES
Abigail, my father's joy
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This is perhaps the Choicest Collection of
Boys' Names in the English Language To the Reader.—I beg to make one very important remark upon this immense variety of boy's names, and that is:—Be sure and preserve the list carefully, as it will serve from which to choose names for your sons up to the number of 555, without using the same name over again. P.S.—If you should be very, very lucky, and have more than 555 sons, and want more names, call on Professor Cole, at the Book Arcade, Melbourne, Australia, and he will give you an extra list.
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555 NAMES
Aaron, lofty, inspired
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Cole's Game Of Hats And Bonnets
Or Husbands And Wives
Women in Hats - Numbered 1 to 52 - Letters A to M.
One Hundred Little Ladies
Showing the 24 various modes by which they
came into Cole's Book Arcade
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One hundred Little ladies, All clever, learned and trained, Half WALKED in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And fifty then remained.
Fifty Thoughtful little ladies,
Forty Pretty ladies,
Thirty Famous ladies,
Twenty Wealthy ladies,
Nineteen Noble ladies,
Eighteen Royal ladies,
Seventeen Grand ladies,
Sixteen Gentle ladies,
Fifteen Modest ladies,
Fourteen Handsome ladies,
Thirteen Lovely ladies,
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Cole's Game Of Hats And Bonnets
Or Husbands And Wives
Women in Hats - Numbered 53 to 104 - Letters N to Z.
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Twelve fine Blooming ladies, Flitting out for leaven, One FLITTED in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were eleven.
Eleven Frightened ladies,
Ten most Charming ladies,
Nine most Splendid ladies,
Eight most Superb ladies,
Seven English ladies,
Six fine Irish ladies,
Five fine Scottish ladies,
Four fine Yellow ladies,
Three fine Jet-black ladies,
Two most Comic ladies,
One most Frisky lady,
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Cole's Game Of Hats And Bonnets
Or Husbands And Wives
Men in Hats - Numbered 1 to 52 - Letters A to M.
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PROCLAMATION BY AUTHORITY. Be it known unto all of you that to find your own portrait and the fashion of your hat or bonnet, your Christian name and the Alphabet are used. The Alphabet is divided into four parts for the second letter of each person's name as follows:—The letters A B C D E F belong to No. 1 portrait in each row, and in the case of the first of the letter A include such names as Abigail, Ada, Aaron, Abraham, Adolphus. The letters G H I J K L belong to the second portrait in each row, and in the case of the second portrait, of the letter A include such name as Agnes, Alice, Ahaz, Alfred. The letters M N O P Q R belong to the third portrait of each row, and in the case of the letter A include such names as Amy, Anna, Arabella, Amos, Andrew, Arthur. The letters S T U V W X Y Z belong to the fourth portrait in each row, and in the case of the letter A include such names as Athalia, Augusta, Asa, Augusta. The same rule is followed with each letter of the Alphabet: for instance, the first portrait in the row B belongs to such names as Barbara, Bessie, Bartholomew, Benjamin, and so on throughout the whole collection of portraits. If a woman is looking for her future husband, she must find the number of her own portrait and then the corresponding number amongst the men's, and THAT IS TO BE HER HUSBAND: for instance, if her own portrait is No. 27, No. 27 amongst the men's is the portrait of her future darling. The same rule is to be followed by the men. If a man's portrait is No. 93, No. 93 amongst the ladies' IS TO BE HIS WIFE, his own future angel.
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Cole's Game Of Hats And Bonnets
Or Husbands And Wives
Men in Hats - Numbered 53 to 104 - Letters N to Z.
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If the persons who consult this oracle are single, the sweetheart
that falls to their lot will be their first husband or wife, and if
they are married it will be their second husband or wife, and if they
have been married twice, it will be their third one, and so on up to
144 times of being married; and after that no one will be allowed to
consult this oracle, look at it, speak of it, or even think about it,
such objectionable persons being entirely excluded from its benefits.
Persons who consult this oracle must accept the husband or wife that falls to their lot just the same as if they married them in the usual way, but if dissatisfied on account of ugliness, dress, or any other cause the consulter, by doing penance in the shape of a pilgrimage to a certain place in the exact centre of the world and paying a small sum, can obtain a DIVORCE. The place to which the pilgrimage is to be made is Cole's Book Arcade, Bourke Street, Melbourne, Australia, where they must buy a book of some kind, and that act DIVORCES them at once. Bashful persons need not mention their pilgrimage to the Book Arcade, when they purchase the book, unless they choose. Anyone having obtained a DIVORCE will be allowed to choose out of 9 other portraits. If the number of the portrait that fell to their lot was 8, they can choose any other number ending with 8, as 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88 and 98, of if their first number was 65 they can choose from 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 75, 85, 95 and so on; whatever their number was, they may choose from the corresponding figures throughout the table. If, after making a choice out of the 9 portraits, anyone is still dissatisfied, by making 10 pilgrimages to the Book Arcade, or by buying and giving away 10 copies of this Funny Picture Book, they can claim the indulgence of a GRAND DIVORCE and choose which they like out of the whole 104 portraits. Given under our Royal hand and Seal at the Palace of the Book Arcade, this 21st day of November, 1890.—COLE, REX.
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Riddles And Catches
Why are cowardly soldiers like butter?
Why is hot bread like a caterpillar?
Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like
thieves?
Why is an acquitted prisoner like a gun?
Why is a beggar like a barrister?
Why are lawyers like scissors?
Why is a newspaper like an army?
Why is a prosy story-teller like a railway
tunnel?
Why is a dun like a woodcock?
Why is grass like a mouse?
Why is the sun like a good loaf?
Why is a plum-cake like the ocean?
Why are tears like potatoes?
Why is Queen Victoria like a hat?
What is the difference between a steep hill
and a large pill?
What is the difference between a pastry-cook
and a billsticker?
What is the difference between an auction and
seasickness?
Why is a photographic album like a drainer on
a bar counter?
Why is an interesting book like a toper's
nose?
What relation is your uncle's brother to you,
if he is not your uncle?
What is the best throw of the dice?
What tree clothes half the world?—Cotton.
Why is a dog biting his own tail like a good
manager?
Why is a dog's tail like the pith of a
tree?
Why does a dog's tail resemble happiness?
If the Devil lost his tail, where should he
go to find a new one?
What key is hardest to turn?—A donkey.
Why is a whirlpool like a donkey?
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What is it that smells most when you go into
a chemist's shop? Your nose.
Why does a donkey prefer thistles to corn?
Why is a lollypop like a horse?
Why is a well-trained horse like a benevolent
man?
I went to a wood and got it, I sat down to
look for it, and brought it home because I could not find
it—
Why is a naughty boy like a postage stamp?
What is the difference between twice
twenty-eight and twice eight and twenty.
What grows less tired the more it works?
What is that which increases the more you
take from it?
Why is a tight boot like an oak-tree?
Who killed one-fourth of the people in the
world?
Why is a retired milkman like the whale that
swallowed Jonah?
Where was Moses when the candle went out?
Why is your ear like a band of music?
Why are book-keepers like chickens?
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull
edge?
Why is a red herring like a mackintosh?
Where are balls and routs supplied gratis?
Why is an omnibus like a medical student?
When has a person got as many heads as there
are days in the year?
What word is shorter for having a syllable
added to it?
If I shoot at three birds on a tree, and kill
one, how many will remain?
What should you keep after you have given it
to another?
Which would travel fastest—a man with
one sack of flour on his back, or a man with two sacks?
Did you ever see a bun dance on a table?
What does your ship weigh before she sets
sail?
What is an old woman like who is in the midst
of a river?
What is the difference between a
school-master and an engine driver?
Who was the first man who went round the
world?
Important Notice
Wanted known to all of the name of Crooks, that Cole's
Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books.
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